The X Factor in Motherhood

120 years ago this month, at a small church in Grafton, West Virginia, in an Episcopal Church, was a celebration of the very first memorial to mothers The woman who started everything is named Anna Jarvis She'd had a conversation with her mother before she died And her mother said to her daughter Anna, wouldn't it be nice if there was some memorial to celebrate mothers every year? Three years after her mother died in 1905, Anna Jarvis had this celebration in the church where her mother taught Sunday school for 20 years In 1910, West Virginia was the first state to celebrate Mother's Day

In 1914, Woodrow Wilson declared that the second Sunday in May should be deemed Mother's Day And so over 50 countries around the world are celebrating mothers on this day Simply because one woman, Anna Jarvis, who by the way never married and never had any children, wanted to inaugurate a celebration on behalf of her mother But over the years, Anna Jarvis became irritated at the amount of money that was spent on this holiday, whether it be for cards, flowers, or gifts

In fact, before she died in 1948, she was arrested in New York City for disturbing the peace because she was against the Mother's Day celebration going on at that time She said these words She said that she became increasingly disturbed as the celebration turned into a reason to sell greeting cards and other items She became known for berating people who purchased cards, saying they were too lazy to write personal letters to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world So if you bought a card for your mother and haven't given it to her yet, you can go home and throw it away

Cindy Mason, who is the director of the Shrine in Grafton, West Virginia, said that Jarvis wished she would have never started the day because it became so out of control Today, there's approximately 35 billion dollars spent on mothers to celebrate this day, as compared to Father's Day where there's only 22 billion dollars spent Not that we're getting gypped It's still in the billions, not millions, so that's a good thing

But unfortunately, she, Anna Jarvis, became so upset because of the amount of money that was spent to celebrate mothers. I would like to inaugurate the second Sunday of every month as Mother's Day because I think that Mother's Day is always a reminder of, number one, the sovereignty of God That God in His sovereignty designed specifically the womb in which you were conceived, and therefore gave you the mother He wanted you to have Think about that

My mom was not the perfect mom, but my mom was the perfect mom for me because in God's sovereignty, He designed her to nurture and to raise me, and I'm so glad that He did. I truly am a blessed son But when you think about Isaiah 66, and God says that, I open and close the womb, He tells Jeremiah in Jeremiah 1, verse number 5, that in your mother's womb, I formed you, I designed you, I created you for a specific purpose Everything about what God does has a purpose, and God designed your mom for you So every Mother's Day is a reminder of the sovereignty of God

It's a reminder of the joy of children For the Bible says in Psalm 127 that children are a gift from the Lord Your children are a gift They're a blessing, not a burden And therefore, Mother's Day is a reminder of the joy of children Mother's Day is a reminder of the ministry of husbands, that they are to nurture and to care for your wives, that they are to be treated as your most precious, as their most precious possession, 1 Peter 3, 7, that every man is to look at his wife who is heirs of the grace of God as the most prized possession that he has

And so Mother's Day is a reminder of the ministry of husbands to their wives who are mothers, the joy of children, the sovereignty of God It's a reminder of the responsibility of motherhood In Titus 2, it says that older women are to teach younger women to love their husbands, to love their children Why? Because they are lovers of God And the great responsibility of the mother is to love God so she can love her husband and love her children But unfortunately, Mother's Day is also a reminder of the depravity and the iniquity of man

For the Bible says these words in the book of Proverbs, the 30th chapter, the 11th verse, there is a generation who curses their father and does not bless their mother That's a generation that we live in We know that because Paul tells us in 2 Timothy 3 that, in the last days, men will be lovers of themselves, not lovers of God, lovers of pleasure, and those men will be disobedient to parents. I find it interesting that it's the men who are disobedient to the parents It doesn't say the children are, it says the men are

And then in Romans 1, it says when God gives man over to his own sinful nature and his own depravity, he gives him a reprobate mind And the men, not the children, but the men with the reprobate mind are disobedient to their parents Do you know that the Bible emphasizes men being more disobedient to their parents than children being disobedient to their parents? We got that all mixed up today in America We think, well, you turned 18, you're an adult, you're on your own, you can do whatever you want no matter what your parents say

Really? That's what your friends say, but that's not what your father in heaven says Children are to honor their mother and father That's why it's the fifth commandment with the promise and that's why it's the first commandment given after the first four that determine your relationship with the living God The very first place that is evidenced is how you honor and esteem your mother and father The very first evidence of your love for God is your love for your mother and your father That's what the Lord says

Forget about what society says, forget about what your friends say, what does the Bible say? And we live in an age where there's a generation who curses their father and does not bless their mother Remember, it was the Lord who condemned the Pharisees, the religious elite, because they would not honor their mother and father It goes on to say in Proverbs 30, these words, there is a generation who is pure in their own eyes, yet is not washed from their filthiness What generation is that? That's the same generation that curses their father and does not bless their mother

Then he says, and there is a generation, oh, how lofty are their eyes and their eyelids are raised in arrogance What generation is that? Same generation He's characterizing the generation that curses their father and does not bless their mother It's the foolish generation And the fool of the book of Proverbs is the unbeliever It's the unbeliever who curses their father It's the unbeliever who does not bless his mother It's the unbeliever who lives in disobedience to their parents, not the believer That's what the Bible says

And I kind of stick with what the Bible says. I don't kind of stick, I wholeheartedly stick to what the Bible says And we all should do that And the Bible says, these words in the book of Proverbs, Proverbs 10, verse number 1, a foolish son is grief to his mother In Proverbs 15, verse number 20, it says, a foolish man, not child, a foolish man despises his mother That is, the fool has said in his heart, there is no God The fool says no to God The fool in the book of Proverbs is the unbeliever, not the believer And the fool despises his mother

And the fool curses his father and does not bless his mother Proverbs 17, verse number 25 says, a foolish son is bitterness to her who bore him How sad And so on this Mother's Day, celebrated in over 52 countries around the world, there's a lot of heartache in the lives of mothers, a lot of pain in the lives of mothers because of the depravity and iniquity of man But there's good news And the good news is found in the excellent woman And this morning, I want to talk to you about the X factor in motherhood

What is the X factor? What is the uniqueness about motherhood? What is it that makes motherhood stand out? What is it that makes motherhood so special? And through that, grand encouragement to every mother, every woman, and even every man in the room, because you'll see where we all play a part in this process So if you have a Bible, turn with me to Proverbs chapter 31

Proverbs chapter 31, I'm not going to read all the verses that deal with the virtuous woman. I'm just going to read the last seven verses, okay? I don't have time in one service to cover all the verses, okay? And I don't want to drag it out over weeks and months, so I'm going to put it all in one sermon Verse 25, Proverbs chapter 31 reads as follows, strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness

Her children rise up and bless her, her husband also, and he praises her saying, many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised Give her the product of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates What is the X factor in motherhood? First of all, her character Her character is excellent Verse 10 of Proverbs 31 says, an excellent wife, who can find? That's the question King Lemuel, excuse me, some would say is just another name for King Solomon That might be true

If not, we don't necessarily know who the king is But when he writes this, he says that an excellent wife, who can find? Who can find a virtuous woman, a unique and special wife? And the word excellent in the Hebrew is a word that means strong, spiritually strong Who can find a spiritually strong wife? He goes on to say this He says, for her worth is far above jewels The worth of an excellent wife goes way beyond any kind of earthly possession Excuse me, you find a virtuous woman You find an excellent wife You find someone who is unique, who is special

And when you find her, she's more valuable to you than anything you can buy on the planet She's more valuable to you than anything you can have on the planet She is far more valuable than any earthly possession So, gentlemen, when you're looking for a wife, you're looking for a spiritually strong wife Women, when you want to become a wife, make sure you're spiritually strong You're right with the Lord because the Bible says, who can find this kind of woman? And then he goes on to describe her But her character is excellent

Why? Because the Bible says, she is her strength and dignity are her clothing She's a spiritually strong woman She lives a life of integrity and she wraps herself in this This is who she is This is her character From the inside out, she is a spiritually strong woman who lives a life of integrity and she smiles at the future That's a unique woman who does that This is why her character is so excellent It's because she trusts in the providence of God She relies on the sovereignty of God

She knows that as she engages her family, as she raises her children, as she loves her husband, that the future is in God's hands, that her children are in God's hands So many times as mothers, we want to smother our children and we want to guide them and direct them And rightly, when they're in their house, you should do that But when they go off to college and they get married, you know, you got to trust the Lord to do a work in their lives You have no guarantee how they're going to turn out, but you smile at the future because you know the one who holds the future, that's the living God

So you trust him And this excellent wife, this excellent woman, this virtuous woman clothes herself in spiritual strength and dignity And she smiles at the future And you know that you are clothed in spiritual strength and dignity when you can smile at the future In other words, she doesn't live a life of anxiety She doesn't live a life of fear and trepidation, but she lives a life of security because she smiles at the future She can't see the future She doesn't know the future, but she smiles at the future

Many of you know that when I was growing up, my mother used to tell me, she goes, son, you can play all the sports you want You can memorize all the statistics you want You can be the best coach around, but you're still going to be a preacher And I said, you got it all wrong, mom You have no hotline to God And she said to me one day, she says, you know, son, I am your mother And I said, yes, mom, I do know that And I do believe that God's called you to preach And although you don't know it yet, one day you will know And I had no idea how my mom knew that She could not see the future

She had no crystal ball to look into and say, I see my son standing at Christ Community Church preaching the gospel every week She had no crystal ball, but she just smiled at the future because she knew that God had a plan for her son She had only one son She had one, right? And she used to tell me, I got one son, I'm not going to mess him up. I only got one And so she just trusted the Lord and believed in what God would do And you know what? My mom was right She was right She knew She used to tell me when I brought a young lady home from college one time, she goes, yeah, she's not the one

What? How do you know that? That she's not the one, all right? And sure enough, she wasn't the one So a year later, I brought another young lady home from college She goes, yeah, she's not the one either How do you know that? I don't even know that, mom How do you know that? She goes, I just know Why? Because she's your mom She just knows. I had to learn to trust my mom's instincts, intuition, call it whatever you want to call it Mother's intuition, I don't know, but she just knew

And I learned early on in college and out of college that, man, my mom was a lot wiser than me, a lot brighter than me She had life experience that I didn't have She had insight that I didn't have. I had to learn to trust my mom There's something about an excellent wife Her character, it is excellent It's strong But notice, number two, not just her character, but her conversation Her conversation If her character is excellent, her conversation is exemplary The X factor in motherhood Listen to what it says She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue

Wow, what a statement She has wisdom She instructs wisely And wisdom, of course, is the application of truth to life And so she knows the truth in order to grant wisdom to her children and to teach them And I know that the father is the prophet and priest of his home But, mom, let me tell you something You've become the major teacher in your home You do, like my mom was, like my wife was to our children Because you're around them so much, you become the impetus by which you teach and train your children

That's why the Bible says over in Proverbs, Proverbs chapter 6, these words, chapter 6, verse number 20, my son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother Your mother Because your mother is a teacher Proverbs chapter 1, verse 8, hear, my son, your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck As a mother, you become such an influence in the lives of your children, more so than the father Because the father's off to work He's providing for his home

He's protecting his home But as a mother, you're home with your children You're invested into the life of your children You're teaching your children every single day You're building character into their lives So as you do that, you become the main teacher of their lives because they're catching what you do They're hearing what you say and you instruct them in wisdom It also says, these words, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue She's a kind teacher, a kind teacher She's the embodiment of Ephesians 4, 29 She doesn't let wholesome words proceed out of her mouth

She's the embodiment of Colossians 4, verse number 6 Her speech is graceful, seasoned with salt It says over in the book of Proverbs chapter 23, these words, Proverbs 23, it talks about.. That's not the verse I want What is the verse I do want? Ah, Proverbs chapter 15, verse 24, pleasant words are honeycombs, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones How delightful, verse 23, is a timely word Verse 26, pleasant words are pure words This is the virtuous woman This is the X-factor in motherhood Her conversation is exemplary

You want to model your conversation after your mother's conversation because she speaks wisely and teaches kindly Number three, her character is excellent, her conversation exemplary Her concerns are extensive and exhaustive Extensive and exhaustive Look what it says in verse number 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness She's not lazy The excellent woman, the X-factor in motherhood is the fact that she is not lazy Everything about her life is exhaustive, extensive, far-reaching

All you have to do is read what this woman does. I read it and I was exhausted It says in verse 13, she looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight It says that she brings her food from afar, verse 14 That means she has to travel far to the market to bring it back Verse 15, she rises also while it is still night So before anybody else gets up, the sun's not even up, she is up Verse 16, she considers a field and buys it From her earnings, she plants a vineyard It says, verse 17, she girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong This is one beast of a woman

Think about it, she makes her arms strong. I mean, she doesn't have to go to 24-hour fitness She doesn't have to go to any kind of workout place, man She is working so hard, her arms are strong And then it says, she senses that her gain is good, verse 18, and her lamp does not go out at night That means she's always in tune with what's happening Have you ever noticed that when your kids wake up at night and they make a sound that the father wakes up the next day and says, I didn't hear anything

But the mother says, you didn't hear him? You didn't see him when he came to the room? No, man, I was fast asleep. I didn't hear a thing But the woman, oh, no She's always on edge She's always listening She's always aware of what's happening That's what makes them so unique, so unique And my kids, when they used to come into our room at night because they would awake, they never went to my side of the bed They went to mom's side of the bed And today, when my kids call, they never call and ask for dad They call and ask for mom They call mom's cell phone, right? They don't call dad's cell phone

They call mom Why? Because mom cares That's why Mom listens She's in tune, right? That's because she is, her light never goes out at night It says in verse 20, she extends her hand to the poor She stretches out her hands to the needy Verse 21, she is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet Think about that She's not afraid of the snow That is just so weird because they live in Israel When is the snow in the land of Israel? As often as it snows in Southern California Ah, but see, this is what makes her so exceptional, so unique

It snows all the time on top of Mount Hermon It's covered with snow 12 months a year But the land of Israel very rarely ever gets snow One year on our trip to Israel, there was snow in Jerusalem Not a lot, but there was snow in Jerusalem But that's very, very rare And that's what makes this mom so unique is because, you see, she expects the unexpected That's what moms do They live in expectation of that which is unexpected So when the unexpected comes, she's already taking care of that which no one thought was coming because she's not idle She's not lazy She's always on guard

She's always awake She's always alert That's what makes her so unique That's what makes the X factor the X factor It simply is because her concerns are extensive and exhaustive It goes on to say these words in Proverbs 31, verse 24, she makes linen garments and she sells them and supplies belts to the tradesmen When does this woman ever sleep? When does she rest? She doesn't because she relishes motherhood She relishes being a wife She relishes her call And that's why she is so unique So, her character, excellent Her conversation, exemplary Her concerns, extensive and exhaustive

Her children, expressive Look what it says Verse 28, her children rise up and bless her They rise up and bless her Her husband also and he praises her But her children, they rise up and they bless her They stand up and they honor their mother Her children are expressive. I mean, after all, look at all the things she does for them She gives sacrificially of her life to them It's no wonder they rise up and bless her It says over in Proverbs 23, verse number 22, these words Proverbs 23, verse number 22, listen to your father who begot you and do not despise your mother when she is old

Verse 25, let your father and your mother be glad and let her rejoice who gave birth to you And this is how the children respond to their mother. I don't know where you are at today in your relationship with your mom, but you need to rise up and bless your mother You need to honor your mother You need to express gratitude to your mother Why? Because in the sovereignty of God, she was the one God designed for you And some would say, well, you know, you don't know my mom But think about it We were first not around

You as a gift were designed for her, right? And her attitude towards you is, well, you gave me that kid You could have given me another kid But no, as a child, you should rise up and bless your mother Honor your mother And dads, if your children are not doing that, a lot of that falls on you Because you see, you lead by example And you treat her as a precious vessel in your home And you honor her as your wife And you love her as your wife And your children then get a hold of that and realize my dad is doing this to my mom. I need to rise up and bless her as well

So if your children are not doing that with your wife, look at your own life and ask yourself, am I blessing her? Am I honoring her? Am I praising her? Because that's the very next phrase Her husband also, he praises her Her children, expressive Her concerns, extensive and exhaustive Her conversation, exemplary Her character, excellent This is the X factor in motherhood Her commendation, her commendation is exuberant Listen to what it says, verse number 29 Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all You're the best You're queen of the mountain You top them all

Now it says, I know it says that, it says her husband's sane The word sane is in italics because it's not necessarily her husband who says this, but it's the children and the husband who together commend her and say, many daughters have done nobly, but you mom, you excel them all Many daughters have done nobly, but you, my dear, you excel them all You're the best of the best It's exuberant It's thrilling. I mean, we ought to be able to yell with gratitude and grace and great joy for the mother that God has given to us and say, man, mom, you excel them all You're the best

Because God gave you to me, you're the best And we ought to be rejoicing in the mother that God has grace has given us Because if you don't, in essence, you're saying to God, you didn't do your best, God You gave me kind of a little bit of a leftover She really wasn't that excellent And God never gives cheap gifts or bad gifts or weak gifts He just gives the best gifts And he gave you your mom for specifically for you And maybe for the only reason that you would rise up and bless her and that you would say, mom, many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all You're the best

That's her commendation Her consecration, her consecration is exalting and extolling For it says in verse number 30, these words, charm is deceitful and beauty is vain But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised Her consecration, her commitment is exalting She exalts the Lord because she lives in the fear of the Lord all day long That's why she can smile at the future That's why she can do all the things she does She just lives in the fear of the Lord, which is a synonym for salvation in the book of Proverbs She honors the Lord She glorifies the name She worships the Lord

She reveres the Lord That's why she's praised because God is her number one, not her children, not her husband Her God is number one She realizes that all the outward beauty comes and goes But the fear of the Lord, nah, it stands strong forever And she lives in the fear of the Lord all day long The Bible says over in Proverbs 19, verse number 23, these words, 19, verse number 23, the fear of the Lord leads to life so that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil

That's why she can stay up late at night and rise before the sun comes up and get all the sleep she needs because she sleeps satisfied, untouched by evil because she lives in the fear of the Lord The X factor in motherhood Her character, excellent Her conversation exemplary Her concerns extensive and exhaustive Her children expressive Her commendation exuberant, her consecration exalting and extolling Are you ready for this last one? Her compensation Chelsea's laughing at me because she typed it up Her compensation is extraterrestrial It's out of this world

It's beyond anything the world can offer It's extraterrestrial That's her compensation It says these words in verse 31, give her the product of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates, the city gates and the celestial gates Remember Revelation 14, 13 Blessed are those who die in the Lord for they rest from their labors And then it says, and their deeds follow after them into glory And here's this excellent wife, this one that's hard to find Her compensation is a glory She's not doing what she does for the love of her husband

She's not doing what she does for the love of her children If they love her back, that's great But she's not doing it for that She's doing it to honor the Lord and glorify His name She's doing it to hear those words, well done thou good and faithful servant She does it to please the Lord, to glorify His name That's her motive That's her drive That's her passion That's why her compensation is extraterrestrial It's out of this world It's in glory That's why Hebrews 6.10 says that the Lord is not unjust so as to forget your work and your labor of love, which you do in His name God never forgets

Romans 2, 1 Corinthians 4 tell us that one day God will praise His own She lives for that The X factor Hey, let me give you a bonus one Okay? Here's an extra one you can take with you And then it's her companion Okay? Her companion is exhilarating, thrilling Her companion is her husband Look what it says It says in verse number 11, the heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain He trusts her He believes in her He supports her He motivates her as she buys the field and she sells the field As she works with her hands, her arms become strong

And probably she's stronger than he is, but he's not intimidated by her strength He's exhilarated by her strength And he's known in the gates because of her His popularity is because of her He's not jealous of her He's not sitting back saying, well, you know what? You're getting all the glory. I'm getting none of it No, no, no He's behind her He's supporting her He is there to be her number one fan Her companion is exhilarating He is supporting her He is praying for her He's encouraging her He is motivating her He is behind her 100%

It goes on to say that she does him good and not evil all the days of her life Wow, what a statement She does him good and not evil all the days of her life That means she says good things about him She treats him well every day It says in verse 23, her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land Verse 28, her husband also, and he praises her as her children praise her Her companion is exhilarating Gentlemen, this is for you

Is your wife motivated, moved along because of your support and because of your encouragement in her life? Are you the one that lifts her up and praises her? Are you the one that helps her down her path of whatever way she may be going that the Lord has led her? When you come home from work, are you saying, babe, you did a great job today with the kids? Oh man, many daughters have done nobody, but babe, you excel them all You're the best

And you come home and the house is a mess and the kids are in disarray and you come home and say, babe, I'm here for you. I'm here to help clean up the house. I'm here to help you take care of the kids Hey, let me bring in reservations or bring in dinner for us tonight Let's do that Let me take a load off, babe Sit down, I'll handle this because I'm here as your companion, as your husband to support you and to stimulate you and to motivate you And babe, I am here for you 100%

Or do you go home and say, where's my hot meal? Why aren't the kids in order? Why wasn't the schooling done? Who took in the practice today? Why were you late? We can be those kind of guys That's not the kind of guy you need to be You need to be the husband that bears his wife up, lifts her above himself, esteems her because you see, as you do that, your children are watching and they see dad esteeming mom, protecting and providing for mom and they come along and they join in in the praise of their mother because they realize what their father has done

That is the X factor in motherhood and that is the reason you are so glad you came today Let's pray together Father, we thank you for today We thank you for the joy of motherhood We thank you that as fathers, we have our wives who are mothers We thank you as sons and daughters, we have our mother and we thank you, Lord, for your provision You are a great provider, Lord We thank you so very, very much

Our prayer, Lord, today is that every mother in the room would know you personally and live in the fear of the Lord all day long, knowing that you are the God who controls the future so that she can smile at the future

We pray that the women of our church would be clothed with strength and dignity and that, Lord, they would be excellent wives and that, Lord, you'd lead them each and every day and that as husbands, we would come alongside and we would lift them, love them, esteem them, care for them, protect them as only we can and provide an example for our children so our daughters will know this is the kind of wife I need to be This is the kind of man I need to marry and every son will know I need to marry that kind of woman and I need to be like my dad We love you, Lord We thank you for today