The Problem of Sexual Temptation, Part 1

Turn with me in your Bible, if you would, to the book of Proverbs as we continue our study in different problems that we face day in and day out. Tonight we talk about the problem of sexual temptation. It is a prevalent problem more and more each and every day, not only in our society but in our churches.

And we need to be aware of what the Bible says concerning sexual temptation and what God designs for us in order that we might overcome temptation, that we might not succumb to those things that would lead us away from God. Our Lord has designed marriage as an institution for there to be a sexual union between a man and a woman. Satan has counterfeited that, deceived us, and got us believing all kinds of lies.

So we need to understand what the Bible says concerning sexual temptation. And we will look at three points with you this evening that you might understand what it is you are to do when faced with sexual temptation. We want you to, number one, be alert, number two, be aware, and number three, be advised.

We want you to be alert to, number one, the characteristics of seduction. Number two, we want you to be aware of the consequences of sexual sin. And then thirdly, we want you to be advised to the challenge of sanctification.

What is it we are to do when facing temptation? Listen to what the Bible says in Proverbs 1, verse number 10. My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. Paul would say in 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, verse number 3, that this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality.

He would go on to say in 1 Thessalonians chapter 5, verse number 22, that we are to abstain from even all the appearances of evil. In Ephesians chapter 5, verse 3 and verse number 4, he would say that there is not to be any immorality named among us. There is to be no filthy talk even among us as Christians.

And so it's important for us to realize that the Bible has a lot to say about sexual temptation, and the book of Proverbs is filled with exhortations as to what we are to do. In fact, let me read to you Proverbs chapter 5. My son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding, that you may observe discretion, and your lips may reserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.

Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life. Her ways are as unstable, she does not know.

Now then, my sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your vigor to others and your ears to the cruel one. My son, let strangers be filled with your strength, and your hard-earned goods go to the house of an alien.

You groan at your latter end, when your flesh and your body are consumed, and you say, How I have hated instruction, and my heart spurned reproof, and I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to my instructors. I was almost another ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation. Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well, should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets.

Let them be yours alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind in a graceful doe, let her breast satisfy you at all times.

Be exhilarated always with her love, for why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress, and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of a sin. He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly, he will go astray.

The Bible has more say on this issue than we've ever realized. So we need to be alert. We need to be alert to what the Bible says concerning the characteristics of seduction.

That we might be aware of what's happening around about us. So let me give you six principles that will help you understand how people are seduced, and how is it we can fight against that. Number one, verbal compliments.

Verbal compliments. Listen to what the Bible says in Proverbs 2, verse number 16. The adulteress flatters with her words.

Proverbs 6, verse number 24, says to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Proverbs 7, verse number 5, that they may keep you from an adulteress, from the foreigner who flatters with her words. Verse number 21, with her many persuasions, she entices him.

With her flattering lips, she seduces him. The very first characteristic of one who seduces is that they constantly give verbal compliments. Now listen, I'm all for saying nice things to people.

I'm all for complimenting people. I'm all for saying good things to people. The Bible says a lot about we as Christians and our speech and what we should say concerning others, not to tear them down, not to speak about them behind their backs, but to compliment them and to thank them and to show words of appreciation and kindness to them.

But the adulteress is one who uses their words or uses her words in such a way to entice, to seduce. And so we need to be alert to the frequency of those verbal compliments. When they happen, the times they happen, so easily someone will pass that compliment and we will say, well, what a nice man or what a nice woman for them to say something so kind to me.

It doesn't mean you go around judging everybody's motive just because they say something nice to you. It doesn't mean, oh man, they're trying to seduce me. No, don't get, you know, don't hyperanalyze everything.

But it begins there because the words of an adulteress seek to flatter the one they want to hold in their grasp. And so you need to be alert to those things. You need to be alert, number two, from verbal compliments, listen, to immoral conversations, immoral conversations.

What do people say when they speak to you? We live in a society where people are becoming more bold and more brash on what they say, and they speak explicitly about sexual issues. All you got to do is watch television for 20 minutes, for 10 minutes, and the things they say and the sexual innuendos that come out of the mouths of people has filtered into the church. It's filtered into our conversations, and we say things that are immoral.

We say things that have sexual connotations. And so you move from those verbal compliments to those immoral and sexual conversations that speak explicitly about sexual issues. Proverbs chapter 7, verse number 16, states it this way, I have spread my couch with coverings, says this woman, with colored linens of Egypt.

I have sprinkled my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning. Let us delight ourselves with caresses.

You know, it's very easy for someone to be free with their speech and begin to use their conversation to seduce another one and to speak of things explicitly that are immoral. And when the Bible says over in the book of Ephesians, the fifth chapter, I made reference to it earlier, these words, do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you as is proper among saints, and there must be no filthiness, endlessly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting. The believer is not to speak those words that have sexual connotations to them, and yet that is a characteristic of seduction.

Someone wanting to seduce another will use their words to speak of things that should only be spoken of in private between married couples. Number three, feeble commitments. Feeble commitments.

Proverbs chapter five, verse number six, says this. She does not ponder the path of life. Her ways are unstable.

She does not know it. The adulteress has unstable ways, and the Bible says she doesn't even know it because her commitments are weak. They are feeble.

They are fragile. Listen to what it says in Proverbs chapter seven, verse number 19. For the man, she says, is not at home.

He has gone a long journey. He has taken a bag of money with him. At full moon he will come home.

With her many persuasions she entices him. With her flattering lips she seduces him. This woman speaks of the fact that her husband's not around.

He's gone. She has no commitment to her husband. At best, it's a feeble commitment.

It's weak. It's fragile. It's falling apart.

And those who seek to seduce you come from unstable backgrounds. That is, unstable homes. That is, unstable relationships.

Why? Because they don't have what they want at home, they will seek it elsewhere. And so one of the characteristics of seduction is that those who seek to seduce you have feeble commitments, weak, fragile commitments at home. My husband's gone.

He'll never know. He's away on a long journey. I am at your disposal.

And she uses her words to flatter him, to seduce him, to gather him in. Number four, spiritual confusion. Spiritual confusion.

Proverbs chapter seven, verse number 14 says this. I was due to offer peace offerings. Today, I have paid my vows.

Therefore, I have come out to meet you, to seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you. Now, I know that in your Bible, you probably have at the top of the heading before chapter seven, mine says the wiles of the harlot. The woman in Proverbs seven is not a harlot.

She's a married woman. She has a husband. She's a married woman.

She's an adulteress. She's a seducer. And that's her plan.

And when you read through the chapter, you begin to realize because of her weak commitments at home, because of her unstable marriage, she seeks elsewhere satisfaction. She goes to someone else. She says, I was due to offer peace offerings.

Today, I have paid my vows. Today, I have given to God what is necessary. You will note that the one who seeks to seduce in the realm of Christianity is spiritually confused.

They believe that with all their hearts that they say things, you know, it's okay because we serve a God of grace and a God of forgiveness. And whatever it is we do here, we just ask God to forgive us and he will. And they'll use verses to support their argument.

And they will quote about the loving kindness and the graciousness of God and how he separates our sins as far as the east is from the west. They are spiritually confused. They think they're walking with the Lord.

They think they know a lot about the Lord, but in reality, just because they went to church and paid their vows doesn't mean they are spiritually committed. They are spiritually confused about the character of God, the nature of God, and they will use their Christianity to justify their sinful behavior because they can always ask forgiveness from God and God will always forgive. Now I'm not negating the fact that God's a forgiving God.

He does forgive, but there's also consequences for your sin. But the seducer is spiritually confused because they don't understand the essence and nature of God and they get others to buy into that. Men do this a lot with women.

Men in power, men in pastoral positions, men in church leadership positions use this to seduce women that they counsel or seduce those that are from a frail marriage. They use things like, you know, God is going to use me in your life. They're spiritually confused, and that's one of the characteristics of seduction.

There's another, a fifth one, and that is sensual clothing. Sensual clothing. Proverbs 7, verse number 10 states it this way.

And behold, a woman comes to meet him dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart. She is boisterous and rebellious. Her feet do not remain at home.

Notice she's not a harlot, but she dresses as a harlot. Sensual, sensual clothing is something you must watch out for. Why is that? It is imperative that we understand, the Bible says in Titus chapter 2, that women are to adorn themselves in a certain way.

And I'm all for my wife, your wives, my daughters dressing in a way that is appropriate and attractive. But we need to understand that sometimes the way we dress can seduce or can be designed to seduce others. We must be very careful about that.

If you're a married woman, it would be well for you to ask your husband, honey, what do you think about this dress? Is it too revealing? Is it too short? Is it too low? Is it appropriate for me to wear to church? Is it appropriate for me to wear to work? Ask your husband. Hopefully God's given him enough insight to be able to help you understand what is appropriate, what's not appropriate. As a parent, and your daughter gets ready to go to school, does what she wears draw attention to God or to her? That's the question.

Now granted, we know that just because you wear or don't wear something doesn't mean that people are automatically going to go after you. But we've got to be careful. We've got to be wise.

We have to be understanding as to what God would have us do. And we need to make sure as parents we help our children understand that when they go out in public, do they dress modestly? Do they dress in a way that's befitting a child of the king? That's important. Women, when you come to church, when you go to work, maybe you're in the workforce, and I understand that those of you women who have to work, it's a difficult thing.

Why? Because you find yourself answering to two heads. You have your husband at home, that's your head, and you have your boss at work, who in a sense becomes the head. Because you report to them.

You're accountable to them. And you find yourself in a difficult predicament. It's hard.

I understand that. And some of you find yourself in that predicament every single day. And that's why it's imperative for you to be accountable to your husband and to be able to do what he says over anything else.

Because your boss might ask you to dress a certain way. That's inappropriate. What will you do? See? And we need to understand that sensual clothing can be a very dangerous thing.

And we need to be able to dress in a way that draws attention to our God and not to our bodies, not to ourselves. And you know, you don't have to go into great detail to talk about those things, because I think most of you are pretty intelligent to understand what that means. And we need to realize what the Word of the Lord says about the characteristics of seduction.

Another one is this, physical contact. Physical contact. Proverbs chapter 5, verse number 20, says this, For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress, and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? Proverbs chapter 7, verse number 11, it says, She is boisterous and rebellious.

Her feet do not remain at home. She is now in the streets, now in the squares, and lurks by every corner. So she seizes him and kisses him.

And with a brazen face, she says to him, I was due to offer peace offerings. Today I have paid my vows. She goes after him, she grabs him, and she kisses him.

Physical contact is something we need to be alert to. You know, the kiss she gives is not, as Paul says, the holy kiss. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

That's not what he's talking about in Proverbs chapter 7. She seizes this guy, she grabs ahold of this guy, and she prants one on this guy. And you've got to realize that there is all kinds of ways to seduce someone. So when someone is inappropriately touching you, or is constantly touching you, in church, God forbid, at the marketplace, wherever you are, beware.

Be alert. Understand characteristics of seduction. As men, you should not have your hands on other women.

Especially as Christian men, you should not have your hands on other women. You know, in today's, you know, churches, you know, people are going up and hugging people. I remember a number of years ago, a lady came to me, she goes, oh, I just want you to give me a hug.

And I said, I don't do that. She goes, well, why not? Don't you love me? I said, well, I love my wife, and I give her all kinds of hugs. But I'm not going to go up to you and just give you a full frontal hug.

I just don't do that kind of stuff. She was offended. She was greatly offended that as her pastor, I would not embrace her and hug her and comfort her.

I said, in all due respect, man, that's your husband's responsibility. That's not my responsibility. I'm a teacher of the word.

That's what I do. You know, I don't go around hugging people. I'm not a hugging machine.

I'm not a teddy bear, okay? But you see, you must understand that I just don't do that kind of stuff. Now, there are times where there's an appropriate manner that I put my arm around someone from the side, and I will gently talk to them. They've lost someone, that kind of thing.

But most of the time, that's always in the presence of my wife, see? Because we got to be careful, don't we? And we need to be aware and be alert to characteristics of seduction. Our second point, we need to be aware of the consequences of sexual sin, the consequences of sexual sin. For the most part, we just don't even take thought about the consequences.

But the very first one we need to talk about is spiritual defeat, spiritual defeat. There is nothing that is so detrimental to your walk with God as sexual sin. When you fall into temptation, that aspect ruined your relationship with God like nothing else.

And we'll talk about that as we go through here. But spiritual defeat is the first one. Remember, it's Solomon who's talking here.

And he's talking to his son or sons concerning what it is they should do. Remember what Solomon says over in the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 2, verse number 10? Listen to this. He says, And all that my eyes desired, I did not refuse them.

I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart was pleased because of all my labor, and this was my reward for all my labor. Solomon says he's the king of Israel. He's rich.

We know in 1 Corinthians 11, he's got, you know, all these wives, all these concubines, a thousand of them all together. And he says, You know what? I did not withhold one thing from me. Whatever I wanted, I had.

It was all at my disposal. And of course, the book of Ecclesiastes is about how all the things he desired up on earth are empty and vain because they don't offer complete inner satisfaction. And that's what Ecclesiastes is about.

But what happens is that the kingdom was taken from Solomon because the women had turned his heart away from God. Remember Samps? Let me read to you the saddest verse in the Old Testament. The saddest verse in the Old Testament is Judges chapter 16, verse number 20.

And when Delilah said, The Philistines are upon you, Samson. He awoke from his sleep and said, I will go out at other times and shake myself free. But he did not know that the Lord had departed from him.

That, my friend, is the saddest verse in the Old Testament. Here was Samson chosen by God to take a Nazarite vow to be committed to his God, to rule the people Israel. And he blew it tremendously because he had a problem with women.

And Delilah had seduced him. And he told her that his strength was in his hair. Listen, folks, his strength was not in his hair.

How do we know that? Judges 16, verse number 28. Then Samson called to the Lord and said, O Lord God, please remember me and please strengthen me just this time, O God, that I may at once be avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes. Samson prayed.

When Samson prayed, fellowship with God was restored and strength was regained. His strength would lie in his relationship with his God, not in his hair. Don't think for one moment that your strength lies in your hair.

His hair was a symbol of his commitment to God that he had taken a Nazarite vow and there would be no razor that would come to his head. His hair had grown while he was in prison. His eyes had been gorged out, but he wasn't any stronger, was he? Because it centered around his relationship with God.

And what happens when you fall into sexual sin is that there is spiritual defeat. You end up the loser because your relationship with God is nonexistent. It's not there.

Number two, not only spiritual defeat, but you need to understand emotional distress. Emotional distress. Proverbs chapter 6, verse number 32 states it this way.

Proverbs 6, 32. The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense. He who would destroy himself does it.

Wounds and disgrace he will find and his reproach will not be blotted out. For jealousy enraged a man and he will not spare in the day of vengeance. Remember Lot over in 2 Peter chapter 2, verse number 7. It speaks of the righteous man Lot when he lived in Sodom and Gomorrah.

It says this in verse number 7. For by what Lot saw and heard, this is verse number 8 of 2 Peter 2. For what Lot saw and heard, that righteous man while living among them felt his righteous soul tormented day after day with their lawless deeds. Let me tell you something. That one verse right there tells you why pornography is absolutely wrong.

It doesn't say that Lot was involved in any of the lawless deeds. It's just that what he heard and what he saw tormented his soul. There was emotional distress in the life of Lot because of what he saw in Sodom and Gomorrah.

What he saw, what he heard had an effect upon him emotionally because he was a righteous man and he lived in a cesspool of sin. And what happens is that when you engage in sexual sin, when you succumb to temptation, emotional distress succumbs you. That's why David said in Psalm 32 that he filled his couch with tears.

He wept bitterly. God's hand was heavy upon him. Emotionally, he was a wreck because of his sin with Bathsheba.

Number three, not only is there spiritual defeat and emotional distress, there is familial destruction. Familial destruction, that is you're going to destroy your family. The Bible says in Proverbs 6, verse number 27, "'Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife.

Whoever touches her will not go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. But when he is found, he must repay sevenfold.

He must give all the substance of his house.'" What he's saying here is that there is a great effect upon you because of your sexual sin. And when you are engaged in sexual sin, it will affect your family. It'll affect your wife.

It'll affect your husband. It'll affect your children. It affects everybody involved.

We forget about that. Over in Proverbs chapter 23, verse number 26, it says this. Proverbs 23, verse number 26, "'Give me your heart, my son, and let your eyes delight in my ways.

For a harlot is a deep pit, an adulterous woman is a narrow well. Surely she lurks as a robber and increases the faithless among men.'" She causes men to become faithless. They begin to leave their families.

They begin to leave their children. There is familial disruption. Don't think for one moment that you can engage in any type of sexual sin, that you can succumb to sexual seduction and it not affect your family.

It will, tremendously. And you got to be careful. We need to be serious about what we're doing and honor our God.

May God give us the grace to follow his word that we might abstain from sexual temptation and sexual sin. Let's pray.