The Problem of Anger, Part 2

Tonight, we want to discuss with you the problem of anger. I think it's important for us to understand what Solomon has to say in the book of Proverbs concerning Our anger. A very important lesson for all of us because none of us can say that we are not an angry person So you need to deal with it And so we need to realize the external ways which cause us to become angry But internally, the fact that there are things happening on the inside of me This is where we left off last week

Mark 7 talks about it's not that which is on the outside that defiles a man, but that which is on the inside which defiles a man, right? The reason we are quick to anger is because we lack wisdom and understand Inside our hearts, we are foolish people We become angry people And we need to realize that we need to discipline our spirits, control them, discipline them under the power of God's holy word You know, another thing you need to realize over in Proverbs chapter 27, verse number 4, is the whole realm of jealousy

Remember, we told you that the cousins of pride were anger, jealousy, and envy And over in Proverbs chapter 27, verse number 4, it says this, Wrath is fierce, and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy? A jealous man is like a flood It just keeps on going And jealousy a lot of times causes us to be angry Somebody got the job that I was in line to receive Somebody else got the part that I was supposed to To have in the school play, and I'm a better singer than they are. I look better than they do, I act better, I got better grades, and they got the part, and I didn't get the part

And our jealousy begins to rise up within us That person got the opportunity to speak in front of the church, and I didn't And my testimony was better than their testimony And I should have had the opportunity to say something The jealousy of our lives. caus us to become angry And we got to be careful about that We got to deal with that with our children all the time, don't we? You know, a grasp of the sovereignty of God squelches your jealous spirit It really does

To understand that you didn't get the promotion, or you didn't get the part in the play, or you didn't get the solo, or you didn't get the opportunity to pitch in the championship game Somebody else got it To realize that God is sovereign, that God's in complete control And my parents, at a very early age, used to teach me that lesson Because at a very young age, I was raised playing sports And, you know, and I wanted to start and I wanted to play And I remember when I was 18 years old and I played in the summer league, and I had the best, the highest batting average in the league

And my name was in the paper every single day And I thought, man, this is great, man. I'm going be chosen to play in the all-star game. I going to be able to pitch This is going to be great And they didn't choose me. I thought, wait a minute What happened? This isn't right It's not fair. I'm bet way over 4. I'm the best hitter in the league They didn't choose me And I was angry But I realized a couple of weeks later that the reason they didn't choose me is because most of their games were played on Sunday and I wasn't allowed to play on Sunday

And I realized then that I was even more angry with my parents, with God But you know, God taught me some lesson that God is sovereign and God's in complete charge of all that takes place Everything that takes place And you know, I teach my children: look, you know, you go to practice and you play, because I got, you, most of my kids play sports, whether it's soccer, baseball, football, basketball They're in some kind of league and they're playing. I, listen You practice, you play hard, you get the spot, you get it, you don't get it Too bad Face the fact, maybe you're not that good

You ever tell your kids that? Oh, we don want to tell them that because we going to ruin their self-est Listen, if my kids aren't good, I'm going to tell them they're not that good. I'm not going to lie to them. I'm not going to pretend, oh, you know, you're really good You should have had the spot. I say, you know what? God's in charge Because a lot of times people get a spot that aren nearly as good as you are You ever notice that? Somebody gets a promotion, mom and dad, before you get the promotion

And they don't have the education, they don have the experience, they don't have the know-how that you have, but they got it Why? Because God's ultimately in charge And sometimes you get the promotion and you should never have it But, but God, right? See, we need to teach people that God's in control, but we become so jealous because we didn't get the part we thought we deserved Wait a minute Who said you deserved it? You That's it And maybe your mom or your dad But God gives you and puts you where He wants you Remember, God puts the kings in office, right? God takes the kings out of office

We think we vote them in every year We don't vote anybody in Where do you get that idea from? Because we vote every four years for a president? Let me tell you something God puts the president in office that he wants to be there God does all that That doesn't mean that you have to be irresponsible Please don't hear me say that But you need to understand that God is in complete control And our jealousy Kills us because somebody got the spot that we thought we should have had And Proverbs says that that wrath and that anger is like a flood

And boy, you ever see a flood? You just can't control it, can you? And it gets bigger and bigger and bigger And one of the greatest lessons you can teach your children is that, listen, let me tell you something God's in control of everything Not just certain things, not just the big things, but God is in complete control of every single thing that happens. I remember when I was at Calvary Church of Santa Ana and David Hawking had come to me and said, I want you to preach with me on Sunday mornings We had three services because I would like you to come and preach

One of those three services on Sunday morning And I was a new guy on staff And so I said, sure What am I going to? No You know, I, sure, I'd be glad to He was going through the book of Hebrews at the time And you'd be surprised at the number of staff, pastoral staff, that became very jealous because I was asked and they weren't asked Because they had been there for 15, 20 years And I'd just been there for 15, 20 months And he asked me to do it. I didn't ask for it He just asked me to do it And I did it But the point is that people think they deserve spots They deserve recognition

They deserve admiration They deserve something And when they don't get it, it's because they're jealousy And that causes anger That's on the inside of a man Also, pride over in Proverbs 28, verse number 25 It says this, Proverbs 28, verse number 25 An arrogant man stirs up strife, but he who trust in the Lord will prosper Proverbs chapter 29, verse number 22 Says it this way: An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in trans An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression Proverbs chapter 13, verse number 10

Proverbs 13, verse number 10 says this Through presumption comes nothing but strife But with those who receive counsel as wisdom, through presumption, through pride Through the presumption that I deserve more than what I receive, comes nothing but strife, comes nothing but anger, comes nothing but turmoil, comes nothing but quarrels We've got to realize that it's our pride See? We've been devalued People haven't looked at me in a certain way They don't look at me as I look at me And I've been devalued, and people don't appreciate me And that causes me to become angry

And I've come to realize over the years that probably the less people appreciate you, the better off you are Because if you're focused on God and His appreciation of you Boy, I tell you, you'll go a long ways, a long ways We need to stop thinking about us and start thinking about God An angry person always thinks about them. I began to realize that when my wife asked me for our eighth child, it was all about me. I don't want another child. I don't want to change any more typers. I don't want to teach another one to walk. I don't want to teach another one to talk. I don't want to do this

It's all about me It was all about me Now, I'm not the now ladies, don't hear me saying that you ought to go out and have more children That's not, you go home and convince your husband, okay, the pastor had another one God changed his heart, he can change your heart too Please, I'm not trying to say that. I'm just trying to let you know what God did in my life and how God began to open my eyes, and it was a pride thing that caused me to become angry because I didn't want to do that anymore

See? And God began to open my eyes and say, you know what? The only opportunity you have to affect another generation is in your house The only way you're going to change another generation is to affect your family So you raise girls to become mothers who love their children because they love God. and raise boys to become young men who want to fear nothing but God Himself and raise a godly seed That is the man's legacy That is his legacy And that's why the Bible speaks so voluminously about that And so we need to realize that God is using us in the lives of our children

So then when we master the book of Proverbs and realize all these problems we face, we got to be somehow translating these These solutions to our children, so they understand what it means to follow God and honor God Anyway, that's anger's inducement What about anger's enlightenment? Boy, I tell you, we to go fast because we're going to run out of time here. I'm going to share some things with you, okay? Anger's enlightenment When is it right to become angry, and when is it wrong to become angry? Is it ever right? Yes, it is, because the Bible says you can be angry And sin not

Okay? So there is a time you can become angry and not sin So the question is: how is it I can become angry and not sin? Well, simply this You can become angry and not sin when you reflect the righteous character of God Remember Matthew chapter 18? Peter said, How many times must I forgive my brother? Up to seven times Now, where did Peter get that number from? How did Peter know he should forgive his brother seven times? Because Jesus has said earlier in his ministry in Luke 17 that when you forgive your brother, you forgive him seven times a day

And so, when Christ is talking about a sinning brother in Matthew 18 and going to that brother and confronting him on his sin, and the Lord says that when he repents, you forgive him You are to forgive him when he repents And Peter sits back and listens to this conversation He says, You know what, Lord? How many times do I have to forgive him? Just seven times, right? Because you already said seven So seven must be the number And Jesus says, no. 70 times 7 It's not about a numerical adjective It's not about how many times you do it It's about the attitude you have with your brother

And he goes on and gives that long parable in Matthew chapter 18, verses 25 to 35 The de was a man. who was unwilling to forgive another brother because of a little bit of money he owed him when the king had forgiven him a huge mon debt And you remember how that parable closes in Matthew chapter 18 when it says this? It says, You summoned him, then summon him, his Lord said to him, You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me Should you not also have mercy on your fellow slave, even as I had mercy on you? And his Lord moved, listen, and his Lord was moved with anger

Handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him And of course, the master is representative of our Father in heaven in the parable And it says that the father was moved with anger Now, some people come back and say, well, it's just a parable But verse 35 is not part of the parable Verse 35 says, So shall my heavenly Father also do to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart See, verse 35 is not part of the parable Christ uses the parable to illustrate the heavenly truth of what it means to forgive your brother

And Christ says, Let me tell you what our Heavenly Father is going to do If you don't forgive your brother his sin, he's going to turn you over to the torturers He's going to turn you over to be tortured in your own emotion, in your own body, in your own life And it's interesting that the word for torturer is used of a man who's dying in great pain in Matthew chapter 8, I believe it is Same kind of agony, same kind of pain The point is this: we need to become angry at the things that cause God Himself to become angry

How do you judge if you're progressing in your walk with God? You're becoming holy as He Himself is holy You become more indignant at unholiness That's how Remember John chapter 2? When Christ cleansed the temple? Boy, John 2 is a great chapter because it begins with the miracle at Canaan when he turned the water into wine And then he goes to Jerusalem He turns the money-changing tables over He takes the whip He gets very angry And the disciples say, Boy, z for his house Has consumed him We remember Psalm 69, and our Lord was angry, and that was the first time he entered into Jerusalem

You go to the end of his ministry, he does the exact same thing at the end of his ministry And the point being is that God is into cleansing temples God is in the holy lives And God wants people to honor Him and to glorify His name And when people begin to use What he has designed for his glory and for his honor for their own selfish purposes, he becomes very angry Very angry And we don't like to look at our God as angry, but let me tell you something You live an unholy life, He becomes angry And we, as the people of God, need to realize that there is a righteous indignation

When Moses came down off the mountain, we read it in Psalm, and not Psalm, but Exodus 32, he was angry He burned with anger He threw the tablets down He carved up those tablets He poured it into the water and made the people drink that water Because he was angry, because of the sin of idolatry And I think that we need to understand righteous indignation In Mark chapter 3, verse number 5 In a synagogue in Caper

And every time we go to Caper and our trips to Israel and we sit in that synagogue, I'm reminded of what took place when Christ healed that man on the Sabbath day and how the religious leaders were so upset with him Because in their minds, he broke the Sabbath He broke the law, but he was angry with them The Bible says he was indignant with them And he healed the man because of his compassion for the man He was indignant because of their insensitivity to people in need In Mark chapter 10, the little children were coming to Jesus, and the disciples are trying to keep the kids away

And the Bible says in Mark chapter 10 that Christ him was indignant with his disciples He was angry with his disciples He said, Suffer not the little children to come unto me Why? Because God has a special place in his heart for children because they become the example of trustworthiness and dependency that mark the people in the kingdom of God And he became angry with his disciples because the children were in the way And we need to realize that what causes Christ to become angry, what causes God to become angry, should cause us to become angry That's righteous indignation

Righteous indignation And we need to be more in touch with what God Himself has said in His Word What is it wrong? Well, It's wrong whenever you seek revenge Proverbs chapter 20, verse number 22 states it this way: Do not say, I will repay evil Wait for the Lord And he will save you Your anger is wrong when vengeance is your motive. I will repay them, I will make them suffer what I have suffered. I will make them face the same turmoil I have faced They will see what I had to go through. I'm going to give it to them like they gave it to me That kind of anger is wrong Wait for the Lord

He will save you Romans chapter 12, vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord. I will repay It's wrong when you're angry without a righteous cause Proverbs chapter 3, verse number 30 Do not contend with a man without a cause if he has done you no harm Proverbs 3, verse number 30 When you become angry without a righteous cause, when you become angry, you've got to make sure that it is strictly by the book, that is, by the Word of God That it's something about the holiness of God that has been tainted, and you are up with that Also

It's wrong when you become angry because others are treated better than you Parable of the two lost sons in Luke chapter 15 When the one boy, the young boy, repented and came back, and the older brother was upset and angry as to what the father did for the younger boy because he repented It's always wrong to become angry when others are treated better than you are Because all that does is reveal your jealousy, it reveals your pride, it accentuates your sinfulness, it accentuates your selfishness, all it does is think about you

Instead, we need to rejoice with those who have been treated well and praise God that they were able to obtain favor and good things happened to them Another aspect is that it's wrong when we are bitter in speaking evil of others Proverbs chapter 15, verse number 18 says it this way Proverbs 15, verse number 18. A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention Proverbs 21, verse number 9, says it this way

It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious, angry woman. A lot of times we become angry and we speak evil of others and we become bitter toward other people And that's wrong We just can't do that So what do we do? What's anger's management? What is it we do to manage our anger? Well, you have society solutions and you have inspirational insights You have what society says They say, well, you know, what you can do is just leave the room Just leave the room Is that the solution to your anger problem? Blame somebody else After all, it can't be your fault

Blame your upbringing Blame your family Blame your environment It must be where you were raised It must be how you were raised It must be where you live It must be that you didn't have what everybody else had growing up Blame the environment Blame the situation But don't look at yourself Those are society solutions Society says: if you're angry, take a moment, take a cold shower, cool down Is that going to solve your anger problem? I don't think so Some say express yourself, break something, throw something All that does is cost you lots of money

That doesn't help, okay? But sometimes society says you need to express yourself Let it out, just blow your stack By ripping something open or breaking something, let out your frustration Is that the way you solve your anger management problem? No Let me give you some inspirational insights that will give you some scriptural solutions that will lead you in the way of righteousness Number one, don't ever try to defend or justify your anger. I'm going tell you why I was this way. I'm going tell you why I blew my stack Don't ever defend yourself Or try to justify your anger

Proverbs 20, verse number 9, says this: Who can say, I have cleansed my heart, I am pure? From my sin You know, we need to confess our sin If we conceal our sin, Proverbs 29:1 tells us that we're not going to prosper But he who confesses and forsakes a sin shall find mercy So, don't try to defend yourself Don't try to justify yourself Don't try to make yourself look better than you do We tend to do that, don't we? We want other people to think that we're better than we are So, we say, you know, let me help you understand why I did what I did Let me tell you something If you sinned, confess it

Don't defend yourself Don't defend yourself That's where you need to begin And the Bible says in Ephesians 4:3 that we need to be kind And tender toward one another, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven us And so here you go This is what you need to do Number one, speak softly Proverbs:, a soft answer turns away wrath Speak softly You get in an argument, speak softly Speak softly Number two, over a transgression Proverbs 19, verse number 11, states it this way. A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression

Remember 1 Corinthians 13? Love bears all things That's B-E-, not B-A-R- Love bears all things Love suppresses all things Love overlooks a transgression Love covers a transgression Listen, with silence That's why Peter said in 1 Peter 4, have fervent love among yourselves, for love covers a multitude of sins It doesn't mean that love does not rebuke sin, it does It doesn't mean that love doesn't discipline sin because it does It just means that love doesn't go around exposing people's sins Boy, I love to expose sins Well, you did this You said that

If you wouldn have said that, I wouldn have done this Look what you did Love bears all things Love covers a multitude of sins So you speak softly and you overlook a transgression And don't become friends with angry people Proverbs 22, verse number 24 Proverbs 22, 24 says this, Do not associate with a man given to anger, or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways and find a snare for your s Self Don't associate with a hot-tempered, angry man because bad companies corrupt good morals You're going to become like that Don't do that Don't do that

Proverbs 17:4 and Proverbs 20, verse number 3, tell us not to get into arguments that are characterized by strife Don't do that Don't engage in an argument that's characterized by strife Matthew 26, 41 tells us that we need to pray lest we enter into temptation When you find that angry spirit coming on you, you need to pray in your heart, Oh God, keep me calm Oh God, fill me with your spirit. O God, may I honor you with my words Let the words of my mouth, let the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer You need to be filled with the Spirit

Over in Galatians chapter 5, verses 22 and 25, it talks about being long-suffering, which is a fruit of the Spirit We need to keep in step with the Spirit of God, trusting the Lord, trusting His Word, following what His Word says And over in Colossians chapter 3, it says these words Verse number 8 Colossians 3, verse number 8 But now you also put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice Slander and abuse of speech from your mouth Put them all aside Put off the old man Put on the new man You got to put that stuff aside How do you do that? You got to starve You got to starve your flesh

And you've got to feed on the Word of God In order to put those things aside, you can't engage in those things that cause you to become angry You have got to starve your flesh You've got to saturate yourself with the scriptures You've got to think in the things that are pure and true and holy and lovely so that your words will be the words of God and not the words of man And that begins the process of helping you understand what it means not to become angry, not to fly off the handle But to use your words Ephesians 4

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, nothing that's going to cause harm to somebody else, but only the words that minister grace to those who hear them And may that be our commitment Let's pray together.