Preserving Our Marriages

If marriage is to be a priority, if marriage is to be permanent, and the purpose of marriage is to become one flesh, then why on earth are there so many adulterous affairs in the church? Well, hopefully we'll answer that for you the same. By looking at our first point, the causes for adultery.

From there, we'll move to the second point, the consequences of adultery. And thirdly, the cure for adultery.

First of all, the cause is for adultery. I want to give you six of them. There are more than this, probably. These are the ones that I could think of, all right? And plus, they're all literated, so it kind of goes real well together. All right? So, number one, turn with me to Mark chapter 7, verses 20 to 23.

That which precedes that of the man, that is what defiles the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries. Deeds of coveting and wickedness as well as a seat, sensuality, envy, slanded, pride, and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man. The first thing I want you to understand about the cause of adultery is that it comes and stems from an clean heart.

You see, in salvation, God wants to transform the heart. That's what is important to him. Jeremiah 179 says that the heart is deceitful, and the heart is desperately wicked. No man can know it. You can't even know your own heart. So for you to say, well, you know, I'm never going to get myself involved in an adulterous affair, the Bible says, you know, beware, you know, because take heed lest you fall.

And you've got to be careful about thinking that your heart is not going to fall into those kinds of trickeries because adulteries are stem from an unclean heart. The sensual plague that has struck the church is such a force that we today are never in shock when we hear someone having an affair. And that, my friend, should be a shock to us. Because we are not shocked any longer, there's a problem in the church. We should be shocked. Why? Because those kinds of things should be foreign to people who are supposed to have clean hearts, right?

Absolutely. And so the first thing you understand is that adultery stems from an unclean heart. heart. Number two, unrestrained thoughts.

Turn with me over to Matthew chapter 5, and we'll spend in a few moments here because the next three are going to fall in line in Matthew 5, 27 the following.

But unrestrained thoughts is the second order. It says, you have heard that it was said, you should not commit adultery, but I say to you that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. You see, the Pharisees believe that because they did not commit the act of adultery, they did not take a woman, sleep with that woman, and actually consummate that relationship that they were free from adultery. And Christ says, no, it goes way beyond that.

Because if you lust after a woman in your heart, you have already committed adultery with that woman. That's important to understand. Augustine said that an evil thought passes thy door first as a stranger, then it enters as a guest, then it installs itself as a master.

Unrestrained thoughts are things that lead to adultery. You've got to be careful. Got to be very careful. And so the causes for adultery fall into at least two categories. Number one, an unclean heart.

Number two, unrestrained thoughts. Number three, an undisciplined lifestyle. Read on with me in Matthew chapter 5. First number 29.

And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you. For it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you. For it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish than for your whole body to go into heaven. Hell. Christ says, look, if you're not careful about your lifestyle, it's going to cause you to fall into sexual sin.

And an undisciplined lifestyle will cause that. Now, that doesn't mean you've got to go around to pluck out your eyes and cut off your arms and cut off your legs or a bunch of stumps running around here with nothing to look at or nothing to feel and touch.

That's not what Jesus is saying. He is saying you've got to take drastic measures, though. that means maybe you shouldn't subscribe to cable television maybe you need to cancel the subscription to some of your magazines maybe you need to clear out your your bookshelf and trash some of your records and break off a certain relationship and maybe you ought to get off the internet and time will tell I'm no prophet nor television a profit, but the Internet will cause much sexual immorality in the days ahead.

It already has. And if you're on the Internet and your kids get on the Internet, my friends, I got to tell you, you've got problems. You've got big problems. You better monitor what they do and what they watch on that screen. D. Number four, an unlawful divorce and remarriage leads to adultery. Listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 5, verse 31 of following.

And it was said, whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Now, those are hard words. But Jesus says, unless you divorce your wife for any other reason except for pornea, immorality, any kind of sexual sin.

And you join yourself to another woman, you make that woman an adulterous. Romans 7, 2, and 3 talk about the same thing. And you yourself become an adult. the remarriage in a divorce situation of the innocent partner is permitted providing the previous partner is dead or has married again and in marrying again they have committed adultery therefore you are free to remarry but if you have no other grounds outside of Matthew 19 or Matthew or Matthew 5 and 1 Corinthians 7 the biblical grounds for divorce and you marry someone else Jesus says Lance Sparks doesn't say this Jesus says this you're an adulterer and you make that individual an adulteress number 5 another cause for adultery turn with me to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 1 Corinthians chapter 7 Unfulfilled sexual needs is another cause of adultery 1st Corinthians 7 1.

Now concerning the things about which you wrote it is good for a man not to touch a woman but because of immoralities let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does not have and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again unless Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

But this I say by way of concession, not of command. So Paul says, look, if you're involved in a marriage relationship, you are not to refrain. from having sex in that relationship unless as partners you agree and only for a short time and only for a time to be devoted to prayer and seeking God's will why because Satan will look as that as an inroad to get in and look for a way to tempt you it can get you to look elsewhere and lastly ungratefulness to God Romans chapter 1 turn there with me if you would place.

Romans chapter 1, verse 21. For even though they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of a corruptible man and of birds and forefooted animals and crawling creatures. Therefore, God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, and that their bodies might be dishonored among them.

For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than a creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. For this reason, God gave them over to degrading passions. For their woman exchanged a natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman, and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts, and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.

God says, look, a cause for adultery is that people were ungrateful to God. They were ungrateful for their provision. They were ungrateful to the Creator and no longer worshipped him, but began to worship the created. But on top of that, the consequences for adulteries are second point.

And what does the Bible say about the consequences? And, you know, this might not be any news to you. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. But I think it's important to see what God says on the issue.

Hebrews 13.4 says that God will judge the adulterer. Leviticus 2010 says that the adulterer and the adulterous should be put to death. Revelation 2215 says that immoral persons are outside the kingdom of heaven. What happens when someone engages in an adulterous affair? What happens when someone abandons God and abandons their spouse? What goes through their lives? I want to give you four things. Number one is emotional distress.

Psalm 32, turn there with me if you would, please. Psalm 32, this is David, King David. During that nine to ten to twelve month scenario in which Bathsheba was pregnant, she then had her child, this is what was going through David. Psalm 32, verse number three.

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away. Through my groaning all day long, for day and night thy hand was heavy upon me. My vitality was drained away as with the fever, heat of summer. David says I was drained emotionally. For that 12-month period, I was feeling. the heavy hand of God. And it wasn't until he acknowledged his sin that God removed the guilt of his sin. He was under great emotional distress. Number two, physical disease and physical death.

But physical disease is a consequence of adultery. Over on Leviticus, Leviticus 26, verse 14, says this, but if you do not obey me and do not carry out all these commandments, if instead you reject my statutes, and if your soul abhors my ordinances, so as not to carry out all my commandments and so break my covenant, I in turn will do this to you. I will appoint over you a sudden terror, consumption, and fever that shall waste away the eyes and cause the soul to pine away. Also, you shall sow your seed uselessly, for your enemy shall eat it up.

But not only disease, but death. 1st Corinthians 10 and 8, 23,000 Israelites killed the one day because of fornication. 1st John 516 speaks of the sin unto death. And I believe the sin unto death is the death that God causes to come upon the unrepentant believer, who refuses to, we can't his ways and repent from a sin and follow God, and sometimes God takes that believer home because of the reproach they bring upon his name. Thirdly, relational dissension.

Relational dissension. Turn with me to 2. Samuel, Chapter 12. 2. Samuel, Chapter 12. It was Kent Hughes, again quoting from his book, The Disciplines of Grace, who says this. one does not have to be a therapist to know the miseries that attend adultery, the harm to self, the ego disintegration that takes place from multiple illicit unions, the guilt, the disease, the disgust and self-hatred, the harm to marriage, the betrayal, the destruction to one's spouse, the possibility of divorce, the harm to children.

Infidelity tells a child, your mother is not worth much and your father is a liar and a liar. cheat. Furthermore, honor is not merely as important as pleasure. In fact, my child, my own satisfaction is more important than you are to me. This, of course, is followed by the harm to the church, as it is evacuated of power and authenticity and harm to the world. For if the gospel cannot give Christians the power to control their sexuality, how can it save the world? In quotes. David was a man who suffered a relational dissension in a big way.

It says in 2nd Samuel 12, verse number 13, then David said to Nathan after Nathan had confronted him on his sin. I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said to David, the Lord also has taken away your sin. You shall not die. However, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, The child also that is born to you shall surely die. There was incredible relational dissension in that family. There was never a unified family again. Why? Because of David's adulterous affair.

He even repented of a sin. He was a man after God's own heart. But he just couldn't get the family back together again. Which leads us to the fourth consequence. of adultery, we call spiritual disaster. 1 Corinthians chapter 6. Paul says in verse number 13, food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord. And the Lord is for the body. It says in verse number 14, now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through his power.

God has given you this body that one day. he intends to resurrect and he intends to that resurrection to glorify that body and so you have to understand because the body is for the Lord you begin to corrupt his intentions that he's designed from the very beginning he goes on to say in verse number 15 do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ so I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot may it never be or do you not know that know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her?

For he says the two will become one flesh. But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with him. Verse 18 says that Paul says that we are to flee fornication. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who was in you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price, therefore glorify God. in your body and I guess that that above all else should strike the fear of God in us and make us not want to join our bodies to a harlot which leads us to the cure for adultery what if you've been involved in an adulterous affair is there hope oh you bet I don't want to spend all my painting a bleak picture for you about the the consequences of adultery and and and all the things that it entail I want you to understand that God offers hope.

Amen? Amen. All right. It's good to know that God always has a solution to your sin. And I want to show you the hope for you. Not only to help you refrain from an adulterous affair, but for those of you who have gone through it, what needs to happen? Number one, there needs to be a conversion of your soul.

1st Corinthians 6, verse 9, says this. Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? do not be deceived neither fornicators, nor adulterers, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. Those people ain't going to make it to God's kingdom. And Paul goes on and say, what? And such were some of you. Some of you were adulterers, some of you were homosexuals, some of you were idolaters and swindlers, but you were washed, it says, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the spirit of our God.

My friends, unless your soul has been converted, there's no hope. But there's always hope for the converted soul. Number two, there needs to be a confession of your sin.

If you're a believer this evening and you've been involved in some kind of sexual sin, there needs to be a confession of your sin. Psalm 51 spells it out very clearly for us in what David said concerning his sin and how he mourned over sin. It says in Psalm 51, verse number one, be gracious to me, O God.

According to thy loving kindness, according to the greatness of thy compassion, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin, for I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me. against thee the only I have sinned and done what is evil in thy sight so that thou are justified when thou dost speak and blameless when thou dost judge my friend your infractions against God and you need to understand that it's a relationship that has been broken down between you and your God and because of that it led to sin and there needs to be a confession of that sin.

Proverbs 28, verse 13, says that he who conceals his transgression shall not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. Number three, there needs to be a commitment to your spouse.

Most Genesis 2, 24 talks about the leaving and the cleaving. Remember that vow you made on that wedding day? You vowed to God, you vowed to her. To vow. The Bible tells us it's better not to vow than to break a vow. Don't do it. Because when you stand before God and you make a vow to Him, God is serious about your word. Are you serious about your word? You've got to commit yourself to your spouse and say, I'm going to do all I can for you, sweetheart. I'm going to do all I can for you, my love, to make sure you understand my total commitment to you.

you. I've blown it in the past, but from this day forward, I will prove my commitment to my God and to you by faithfully serving you, faithfully honoring you. I can't change the past, but I can change the future, and I begin today. The question comes, are you willing to receive his forgiveness and forgive him and move him? on with that marriage. If not, well, that's another message for another day, but you've got to forgive your brother, it's sin. Fourthly, you've got to learn to control yourself.

You've got to control yourself. First, Thessalonian chapter four, verse five, Paul says this, or verse three, for this is the will of God, your sanctification, that is that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God.

He says, look, you've got to know how to control your body. Job 31-1, Job says, I have made a covenant with my eyes. How then could I gaze at a virgin? Have you made a covenant with your eyes, in the things that you watch, in the magazines you look at?

Have you made a covenant with God and said, God, my eyes? Have you made a covenant with God? are yours and I want them to be focused entirely on the things that are pure and true and holy and lovely. If you've got to control yourself and God's spirit wants to help you through that process. And lastly, there needs to be confidence in your spiritual resources. Confidence in your spiritual resources. Peter said in 2nd Peter 1.3, Jesus has given to us all things that pertain to life and God. in this.

And we have got to rest and be confident in the spiritual resources. Number one, the Word of God. Number two, prayer.

And number three, God's Spirit. And lastly, the Spirit of God. Galatians 5, 16, and 23. You've got to walk in the Spirit so you don't fulfill the lust of the flesh. You've got to walk in God's Spirit. You've got to rely upon the power that He's given to you and dependent upon Him to take you through the difficult times. if not you will succumb to temptation and you will end up breaking the Seventh Commandment My friends God wants you to live a pure and holy life more than you'll ever know and through his grace and through his power through his word through his spirit he wants you to understand what that means today wherever you are take today and make whatever change is necessary that you may bring glory and honor to his kingdom let's pray together Thank you.