Ordinary People... Ordinary Problems

As we continue our journey through the book of Genesis, I would invite you to turn with me to Genesis chapter 28.

Today's message is entitled Ordinary People Ordinary Problems They have problems in their marriage relationships. They have problems with their children. They have problems with their grandchildren. They have problems with their in-laws. And as we look at their lives and see what they didn't do as well as what they did do, we then can learn what not to do and what we need to do in light of what God tells us.

So as we continue our study in the book of Genesis, we realize in chapter 28 that Jacob begins his journey to find a wife. We realized last chapter that there was much deception that took place in the family of Isaac and Rebecca and their problems. And we're going to start in chapter 27 by looking at verse number 46 because that's going to be our our first point this morning.

And it says this in verse number 46 of Genesis 27. And Rebecca said to Isaac, I am tired of living because of the daughters of Heth. If Jacob takes a wife from the daughters of Heth like these from the daughters of the land, what good will my life be to me? So Isaac called Jacob and blessed him and charged him and said to him, You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Paddan Haram, to the house of Bethuel, your mother's father. And from there take to yourself a wife from the daughters of Laban, your mother's brother.

And may God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you, that you may become a company of peoples. May He also give you the blessing of Abraham to you and to your descendants with you, that you may possess the land of your sojournings, which God gave to Abraham. Then Isaac sent Jacob away, and he went to Paddan Haram, to Laban, son of Bethuel, the Aramean, the brother of Rebecca, the mother of Jacob, and Esau. Now Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Paddan Haram to take to himself a wife from there.

And that when he blessed him, he charged him saying, You should not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan. And that Jacob had obeyed his father and his mother and had gone to Paddan Haram. So Esau saw the daughters of Canaan displeased his father Isaac, and Esau went to Ishmael and married besides the wives that he had. Mahalath, the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham's son, the sister of Nabioth. Ordinary people, ordinary problems. Today I hope that you can be able to see yourself in the story and realize what God has for you and for your family.

We're going to look at Rebecca's concern on the surface and then of course inner soul. We're going to move from Rebecca's concern to to Isaac's counsel. From Isaac's counsel to Jacob's compliance. From Jacob's compliance to Esau's conclusion. And then our commitment. What is our commitment based on this story and what is happening in this family so that our family is different? What are the lessons that we can learn? And leave here making a commitment based on what the Word of God says for us this morning.

The first thing I want you to see is Rebecca's concern. First of all on the surface. Because you see what's on the surface isn't necessarily the real true issue. It's what's in her soul that's the true issue. But first of all on the surface.

She says these words in verse number 46. I am tired of living because of the daughters of Heth. If Jacob takes a wife from the daughters of Heth like these from the daughters of the land, what good will my life be to me? I want you to notice that Rebecca has the concern.

Her concern doesn't really include the daughters of Heth. Esau's wives. Really concerns her. But more about that in a moment. And you're gonna find yourself in this story more than you like to see yourself in this story. But she says you know if if Jacob marries like Esau marries, we're gonna have some problems. Now it's one thing to have a bad daughter-in-law. It's a really bad thing to have two bad daughters-in-law. It's he's got two that are immoral, that are godless because they're from the land of Canaan.

Esau rebelled against his family and went out and he married from the from the tribes, the pagan tribes of of the world. He rebelled against his family. But you recall that in those days it was customary that the father would would go and and choose a bride for his son. He would arrange the marriage. But you will notice that Isaac did not do that with Esau.

And Isaac has not done that with Jacob. And Jacob is 70 years old. Esau too is 70 years of age. These are old guys. But Esau is already married. And why is that Isaac hasn't obtained a wife for Jacob yet? You see Rebecca knows that. And like any good wife, when her husband is not doing what he should be doing, she decides to do what he needs to be doing. Ordinary people, ordinary problems. Is it not true that fellas, when we don't do what we're supposed to be doing, that our wives tend to take control?

Sure, they do. Genesis 3 tells us that the woman will always seek to control her husband. She will do that. And he won't let that happen. And so he will fight against that. The battle of Texas began way back in Genesis chapter 3. But Rebecca begins to take things under her control. Now what she should have done was gone to her husband Isaac and said, you know, honey, don't you think it's about time that we obtained a bride for for Jacob? She didn't do that. You see, because in her soul there was a deeper concern.

And that concern was the safety of her son and the selfishness of her soul. You see, she wanted Jacob to be safe. Why didn't she go to Isaac and say, honey, you know what Esau said? Esau said he's gonna kill Jacob. We can't have that, can we? Why is it she didn't do that? Why is it she's got to go, oh, these daughters-in-law of mine, they are driving me up the wall. I'm in bad shape. We want to make sure that Jacob doesn't do this. So in a roundabout way, she gets her husband to do what he should have done all along.

But she wasn't really truly open and honest with her husband. Bottom line is that God was orchestrating his plan through all of this and God was even going to use her bad daughters-in-law to teach her many lessons. She wasn't open to that. All she could think of was Jacob and herself. Remember she loved Jacob. More than she loved Esau. She had to make sure he got the birthright. He got the blessing. He was the one who would do what God said, as if she was able to control the plan of God. But for those of you who think I'm ragging on Rebecca this morning, I want to let you know that Isaac, you know, he should have fulfilled his responsibility.

He should have stepped up to the plate and done what he was supposed to have done. But listen, I want you to know something. That the problem with this marriage is that it's a child-centered marriage. It's all about the children. It's not about God. It's not about what God is doing. It's not about Isaac and Rebecca and their marriage because they don't have a very good open lines of communication at all. They're lying. They're deceiving. They're cheating on one another. It's just not doing what is pleasing to the Lord.

But they're basing their decisions on their children. Listen, whenever you base your decisions on the welfare of your children, you're going to make the wrong decision. If it's at the expense of your spouse. And that's what they're doing. It's a child-centered marriage. It's all about Isaac. I mean Jacob. It's all about Esau. And Isaac should have noticed that. And Isaac should have stepped up to the plate and led the family He didn't do that. Rebecca, she had some concerns. On the surface, it was all, man, these daughters-in-law of mine, they're bad.

We got to do something about them. Because you see, if she gets Isaac to get Jacob to leave, Jacob's protected. Why don't you just go to him and say, you know what? Esau is going to try to kill Jacob. We got to protect him. That would have been the honest thing to do. That would have been the truthful thing to say. But in a roundabout way, she gets her husband to do something to move Jacob out of the area for his safety. It was all about Rebecca. It was all about what she wanted. But, God intervenes.

God works. Look with me, number two, at Isaac's counsel. So Isaac called Jacob. Stop right there. Think about it for a moment. Isaac calls Jacob. We have no record of any encounter between Jacob and Isaac outside of the last chapter, which he deceived his father. Do we? So all we know is what's right here. So we presume that there has been very little time between the deception in chapter 27 and Isaac now calling Jacob to his chambers. Because what's going through Jacob's mind? Oh, gee. Dad's found out that I deceived him.

Dad, dad knows what I did. What's gonna happen? What's going through Jacob's mind? And what's going through Isaac's mind? This is the perfect opportunity for Jacob to come in and say, hey dad, you know what? I deceived. I was wrong. I deceived you. Would you please forgive me? But he didn't. Perfect opportunity for Isaac to stand up and say, son, I have shown favoritism in the family for all these years. And I had purpose in my heart to bless Esau. And I know you deceived me. I know your mother was involved.

I know it was the wrong thing. But you know what? God worked through all of that. And I realized the error of my way. Would you please forgive me for showing favoritism to Esau? Would you please forgive me for not following the word of the Lord? I knew what God said. God had told me specifically that you were to be the one that your brother would serve. And I lived in disobedience to God. Would you please forgive me, Jacob, for that? I don't read about that in Genesis 28. That would have been so good.

How come they didn't do that? Well, maybe they did. Some of you are thinking. Did they? The text doesn't say so. So I presume they didn't do anything like that. What would you do? You know, I hope, fellas, that you'd be man enough to say, you know, son, I was wrong. Please forgive me. And as a son, you'd be able to go to your father and say, hey, dad, you know what? I deceived. I lied. I was involved in this whole ordeal from the very beginning. I need to ask your forgiveness. Ordinary people. Ordinary problems.

You got those problems in your family? Sure you do. We all got them. And as men, we need to step up to the plate and lead the way. Now granted, Isaac does begin to give the proper counsel for a bride and the blessing. Those are the two points. They're point number two.

But what's missing is the key ingredient of asking forgiveness for favoritism on behalf of Isaac and asking forgiveness because of the deception on behalf of Jacob. Didn't happen. Don't miss out on those opportunities. They build relationships between parents and children. They deepen the intimacy of your relationship with openness and honesty and saying I was wrong. Please forgive me. But Isaac gives the counsel about a bride. Can't choose one of the Canaanite women. Can't do what your brother did, Jacob.

You got to make sure you marry the right one. Very important. So I'm going to send you to your mother's brother's house. You're going to go to Laban. And there you're going to find the right one. You're going to marry into the right family. You got to get a good bride, Jacob. That's important. Do you know, fellas, that I know more about you because of your wife than anything else. Donald Gray Barnhouse used to say this all the time. He said a man can never be truly judged until you meet the woman he loves.

One glance at her will reveal much of his character. Isn't that good? Sure it is. Hey, you are one flesh with your wife. I know more about you because of her than because of you. If you want to know me, get to know my wife. Know Laurie and you'll know me. You'll know about the kind of man I am just by knowing my wife. That's a very true statement. And Isaac's concerned, and properly so, that Jacob marry the right one. You got to get it from good stock, man. You got to get it from a good group. And this is where you're going to go.

You know how far this is? This is 400 miles. That's a long way away. He couldn't catch a plane. He couldn't catch a train. He couldn't ride the bus. He had to walk 400 miles to find his wife. That's a long way, man. I hope she's worth it. And when he gets there, oh man, what a story that's gonna be. It's a long way to walk just to find a wife. But he's got to get her from good stock. So he gives counsel about a bride, and then he gives the counsel about the blessing. Look what he says. And may God Almighty else should I.

Last time we read about that, it was Genesis 17. Remember that? Where God came to Abraham, said he was else should I the Almighty one. Listen, if you're gonna have a good marriage, it's gonna be because the power of Almighty God. That's the only way you're gonna have a good marriage. God has got to work in your life. If you want your life to be blessed, it's because of Almighty God. And so he he blesses Jacob once again. And he goes back and reviews the blessing given to Abraham about the property, the land that's theirs.

About the person of God Himself. His power to work in and through you and gives him a wonderful blessing. Listen to what he says. Bless you. May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you that you may become a company of peoples. May He also give you the blessing of Abraham to you and to your descendants with you that you may possess the land of your sojournings which God gave to Abraham. Blessed him. Same blessing that that Abraham had received. And oh, did God bless him else should I the Almighty one?

Of course he did. Oh man, when you get to Revelation chapter 12, what do you got? Before you get there through the life of Jacob, you got 12 sons. We're gonna read about all those boys. That was one, one unbelievable crew. But God would use those 12 boys. There'd be 12 tribes. And when you come to the book of Revelation, the seventh chapter, what do you have? You still got the 12 tribes. And you have 12,000 from every one of those tribes. You have a hundred and forty-four thousand energetic missionaries in Revelation chapter 7 that take the Word of the Lord all around the world so that a great multitude of people are saved.

That's the Almighty One. That is El Shaddai. Only God can do that. You see, because Satan has always tried to destroy the Jewish people. He wants to wipe them off the face of the earth. He will do all he can. Read Revelation chapter 12. It takes you from the beginning of the world to the end of the world. And Satan's planned to destroy the Jewish nation. But it can't happen. Because when you come to Revelation 14, there on Mount Zion, there stand 144,000 with the Messiah. They went through the entire tribulation, unscathed, unscarred, untouched by the evil one.

Everybody's dying. But there's 144,000 Jewish people, 12,000 for the 12 tribes. They stand strong at the end. Unscathed, blameless, pure and holy with their Messiah. He protected them. He put his name on their foreheads and protects them all through the tribulation. God is the God of His Word. Which leads us to point number three, Jacob's compliance.

The place he arrived. Today, Haran is about 20 miles southeast of the present-day Orpha, which is in Turkey. But Adoniram is the name of the northern Mesopotamia area in which Haran is located. And the purpose he achieved was simply this, to obey his parents. To obey his mom and dad. Those are two words, having been sent, he went. He was sent, he went. He did what he was told. That's a good thing. Because you see, when he leaves this time, when you come to the next couple of verses, verses 10 and following, he's going to have an encounter with the Living God.

And God is going to use all these events to bring about his sovereign purposes in Jacob's life. God is working. He's working in Jacob's life. He's working in Rebecca's life. He's working in Isaac's life. He's even working in Esau's life. And look with me at what it says about Esau. Esau's conclusion. So Esau saw, verse number eight, the daughters of Canaan displeased his father Isaac. Well, how come he didn't know that before? You see, Esau, according to Hebrews, is an immoral, godless individual.

But I want you to notice his rationale. He marries a third woman. He listens to what has happened with Jacob. He noticed that dad blesses Jacob. So what am I going to do? I better marry a different woman. I married the wrong ones. Dad's displeased with them. If I'm going to please dad, I got to marry the right one. So he goes and marries a third wife.

But the repercussions? It would only further corrupt the man. Why? Because what he needs to do is get right with God and get right with his family. What he needs to do is confess his sin. What he needs to do is say, dad, I was wrong for marrying these women. I was wrong. Would you please forgive me? No, he didn't do that. What'd you do? He takes on another wife. He just adds to the problem. He hasn't confessed his sin. He hasn't dealt with his sin. He hasn't gone to God and asked for forgiveness of his sin.

Just tries to add more things to his sin. The only way to please the Lord is to get right with the Lord. The only way to please your parents is to get right with your parents. Esau didn't do that. Ordinary people, ordinary problems. You know, if you got kids and you look at Jacob, you look at Esau, sometimes you can see your kids and these two boys.

You love one more than you love the other. You favor one more than you favor the other. They pick up on that. They realize it. You'll find one kid trying to do all he can to please mom and dad. But he just never measures up, does he? Just can't fit in trying to jump through this hoop, trying to jump through that hoop, trying to do this or do that. Just doesn't work. What does this story tell us? It tells us about our commitment in four areas. There are three new notes. I've added one. The preacher's prerogative.

But there are four things I want you to see this morning. Number one is this. Be open with people. Will you do that? I mean, I look at the story in Genesis 27, 28.

And you got to know that I studied this chapter of months ago and worked through it over the last couple of weeks even more so. But as I go back and I review this chapter and realize what is taking place here. Man, you know what? We got to be open with people. Rebekah wasn't open with Isaac. Isaac wasn't open with Rebekah. Jacob wasn't open. Esau wasn't open. Parents weren't open with their children. How come we don't do that? How come we don't sit down and have a family meeting and say, you know what guys?

Well, we got to get things together here. Things are out of whack. And dad, if you're here, that's your responsibility. Don't expect your wife to do that. You do that. Sit down with your family and say, you know what? We got some problems. We got to work through some problems. Be open. Be honest. Speak the truth in love. Number two.

Not only are you to be open with people, but you're to be obedient to all of God's precepts. You're to be obedient to all of God's precepts. You got to obey God. That's the bottom line. Rebekah disobeyed God by lying. Isaac disobeyed God by showing favoritism and wanting to bless the wrong one because he felt that's what he wanted to do. Although he knew what God said. He wasn't obedient to God's precepts. Esau wasn't obedient to God's precepts. He was an immoral, godless man. And Jacob wasn't obedient to God's precepts.

Listen, if your marriage, if your family is going to work, you got to be obedient to God's Word. I mean, he's written the blueprint on marriage. He designed the marriage institution. If at any time in your marriage you decide to go contrary to God's Word, you have a bad marriage. Why? Because bad marriages are defined because you're unwilling to obey the one who created marriage. Don't think you're gonna have a good marriage and disobey God's Word. No, no, no, no, no. You're gonna have a bad marriage.

How can God bless your marriage when you live in disobedience to Him at any time? So we have to be obedient to all of God's precepts. That's our mandate. Jacob, we will see, is going to learn that. Take him a while, but he's gonna get it. When you go home today, not only do you need to be open with all the people in your family, but you have to be obedient to all of God's precepts, no matter how they make you feel or don't feel. Your marriage will be great. Why? Because you will be the right partner, and that's what makes a great marriage.

Number three, be observant of God's purposes and God's power. Be alert. Stand in awe of what God's doing. You see, there's no mention until chapter 28 about God. It's all about what's in it for me. It's all about me. And as I look at Rebecca, man, she's trying to devise all these different things to bring about her will.

And God will use her to bring about His will, but Rebecca sees it from her perspective only. She doesn't see it from God's perspective. Ladies, if you've got a bad marriage, you have to see it from God's perspective. It doesn't mean that your marriage is always going to be that way. But you know what? You need to see it from God's perspective. God's got you there for a specific purpose. You see, God is orchestrating His planned purposes. And while at this moment, we don't see it, we can begin to observe it.

Look to God. Trust your God. Note that He has a perfect plan. Let's see, if you note anything out of Genesis 27, 28, note that God controls it all. And note that God is working through your marriage into your life to deepen you, strengthen you, and make you into the kind of person He wants you to be. So important. And lastly, number four, this is the additional one. Be occupied with His person, with God Himself. Be occupied with Him. It's so easy to be occupied with you, isn't it? It's so easy to be occupied with what you're going through.

So much so, it becomes a preoccupation. It becomes so great, you can't even begin to think. But be occupied with the person and work of Christ. Because what is above is where our citizenship is, where our God is, who controls everything. And we need to be occupied with Him. Listen, if we didn't partake at the Lord's table, most of us would not even remember the death of Christ until Easter. Is that not right? Sure it is. So we celebrate the Lord's table to remember the fact that He came to earth to die for you, rose again, that you may gain His life.

He wants you to be occupied with Him. Don't be occupied with your husband, your wife, your children, your job. Be occupied with Christ and His purposes. And watch then how Christ begins to work in and through your life. If you learn anything at all from Genesis 27, 28, learn this, be open with everybody. Be honest, be truthful, be obedient to what God says in His Word, follow His Word, and be observing that God is orchestrating His plan in spite of your sin to bring about a greater purpose.

So therefore be occupied with Him. May He occupy your thinking morning, noon, and night because He is your God. Let's pray.