Model Christ and Negate Any Thought of Divorce

Tonight, I want to cover two points with you. If I can, I want to talk to you about what it means to model Christ, and then talk to you about the next letter in the alphabet, and that is negate any thought of divorce. And that's very, very important in a world where people are being separated all the time. But first of all, modeling Christ.

In your marriage, in your family, you are to set an example, to be models of Christ. As husbands, we model Christ to our wives. As parents, we model Christ to our children. As wives, we model Christ to our husbands. We are to be models of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Paul would say, follow me as I follow Christ. If I'm following Christ, follow me, so that you in turn can learn to follow Christ. In fact, the Bible says in Ephesians chapter 5, verse number 1, that we are to be imitators of God and walk in love.

In 1 John chapter 2, verse number 6, it says, if we say that we abide in him, then we ought to walk even as he himself walked. In other words, we're to pattern our lives after the way Christ himself walks. In Revelation chapter 14, the 144,000 Jewish evangelists followed the Lamb wherever the Lamb would go. In other words, we are to be followers of Christ. For example, in Luke chapter 9, verse number 23, our Lord says, if any man come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.

Christ wants us to be followers of him. That's the call in salvation. We are to drop everything and follow him. In fact, it says in Mark chapter 1, verse number 16, as he was going along by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew, the brother of Simon, casting a net in the sea, for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men. Immediately, they left their nets and followed him. Christ says, I want you to follow me.

If you follow me, I will make you into something. And the word there is the same word used in Romans chapter 1, verse number 20, where it talks about how we are able to understand God by the things that the Lord has made in the universe. Same word used in Ephesians 2, verse number 10, where it talks about how we are his making or we are his workmanship. We are his literary masterpiece. In other words, when you follow the Lord, the Lord makes you into something. He makes you into a follower of him, so you can reflect his image.

So people will begin to see Christ because of who you are. In other words, we are to be followers of Christ to the extent that we are able to exemplify the character and nature of our God. He is our Father. We are his children. We're called children of God, sons of the Most High God. First John chapter 3, what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us that we should be called the children of God.

It's like your children. You want your children to mimic you, right? The good things, not the bad things. Unfortunately, they mimic the bad things more than the good things. But you want your children to mimic you, to be imitators of you. And by nature, your children observe and watch and see, and they become followers of your attitude, of your actions, simply because they are able to glean from you those particular attributes. So they follow you. Well, we want our children to be mimics of us. God wants us to be mimics of him, imitators of him, followers of him.

The greatest thing that can happen in your marriage is that you model Christ to one another, and that you model Christ to your children, that they in turn might understand the beauty and glory of Christ. In other words, we're to be godlike. First Timothy 4 talks about training yourself unto godliness, right?

The word there is eusebia. It's used 10 times in the pastoral epistles to emphasize the fact that the pastor is to be godlike. He is to have the attitude and motives that reflect the character and nature of God. So, sure enough, we are to be the kind of people who train ourselves to be godly, to be godlike. God wants us like himself. And so the Bible says in 1 Timothy 6, 1 Timothy 11, we are to pursue godlikeness, pursue godliness, so that we can portray the kind of character that exemplifies our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, our Lord.

So I'm going to give you tonight several attributes of God that you can model in your family. Now, you can't model every attribute of God because you just can't. You can't model the sovereignty of God. Why? Because you're not in control of anything. He's in control of everything. And so you can't really model God's sovereignty. You can't model God's immutability, the unchangeable character of God, because we're changing all the time. You can't model the triunity of God, that God is three in one. You cannot model His omniscience, because you're not all-knowing.

You can't model His omnipotence, because you're not all-powerful. And you can't model His omnipresence, because you can't be everywhere at once. You can only be one place at a time. So there are certain attributes you cannot model. But to be a follower of Christ, to be a mimic of Christ, to be an imitator of Christ in your family, there are certain attributes that you can follow, that once you begin to mimic them, will revolutionize the way your family operates. So let's begin with this one. You want to be able to model His holiness.

His holiness. We know that God is holy, holy, holy. In fact, holiness is the defining attribute of God. We know that God's law is holy, Romans 7 tells us that. The psalmist tells us that His righteousness is holy. The Bible tells us that His justice is holy. Everything God does is done because He's a holy God. In other words, what defines God is that He is completely and utterly separate from His creation and from all corruption. That's what it means to be holy or to be set apart. When God saves you, He sets you apart unto Himself for His purposes.

And when He sets you apart, He sets you apart from the world unto Himself so that you would be a holy, unique kind of people. And so He wants us to be holy, so we are to practice holiness, we are to pursue holiness, and we are to perfect holiness. The Bible says in 1 Peter 1, 15-16, we are to be holy in all of our conduct because God Himself is holy.

We're not to be holy in some of our conduct, Peter tells us we're to be holy in all of our conduct, so we are to practice holiness. Hebrews 12, 14 says that we are to pursue holiness without which no one will see the Lord. In other words, others will never see the Lord unless we are pursuing holiness. At the same time, Paul says in 2 Corinthians 7, verse number 1, that we are to set aside all defilement, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. So our whole life is centered around pursuing, perfecting, and being able to practice the holiness of God.

We are to be a holy kind of people. And so within the marriage, within the family, we are to model Christ by modeling His holiness. Whenever impurity creeps into your family, creeps into your home, what happens then is you need to deal with those kind of things. And as the father, we are to be models of purity and holiness. I don't know how many families over the years I have counseled that have been destroyed because the fathers have been involved in all kinds of impure kind of things. And they just won't rid themselves of those impurities.

And when you try to counsel them and help them understand, look, you need to exemplify the holiness of God, it just brings all kinds of turmoil because they don't want to do that. Most of their families are destroyed. In fact, look what it says over in Ephesians chapter 5. I love this because it says this, husbands are to love their wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her. In other words, the Lord sanctified us by giving Himself away, setting us apart unto Him.

Well, the husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. We are to be involved in the sanctification of our wives, setting them apart from any kind of unholiness and any kind of impurity that would creep into their thought life, into their practice, into their way of living. So as husbands, the best thing you can do for your wife is to lead her into holiness. Not away from holiness, not into impurity, but lead her into a holy kind of life. He says this, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and blameless.

In other words, this is what the Lord has done for the church. Well, the husband is to model Christ that way. We are involved in the process of cleansing our wives. We're involved in the process of leading our wives into holiness. But if we're not living a holy life, we can't do that. So we need to make sure that our lives are set apart unto God, that our lives are honoring to the Lord so that we can then lead our wives in that direction, so that in turn, as parents, we can lead our children in that direction.

But there's this washing of regeneration. There's this, the washing of the water of the word and the word of God moves us toward cleanliness. And so as a husband, I'm in the process of cleansing my wife, sanctifying my wife, because I want my wife to be holy. I want my marriage to be holy. I want my family to be holy. Remember what it says over in Psalm 12, Psalm 12, verse number one, Help, Lord, for the godly man ceases to be, for the faithful disappear from among the sons of men.

Where is the godly man? Where is the holy man? Where is the man who wants to exemplify Christ in the beauty of his holiness? So important. And so we are to model Christ, we are to model his holiness. And as husbands especially, we are to lead our wives and our children into holy kind of living. Number two, not only his holiness, but his truthfulness.

His truthfulness. Our God is the God of truth. We know that. John 14, verse number six, Christ says, I am the way, I am the truth, I am the life.

He also said to Pilate in John 18 that he came to testify to the truth. John 16 tells us that the spirit of God is called the spirit of truth. And of course we know that God himself is the God of all truth. The Bible says in John 17 that we are to sanctify them, the disciples, in truth, for God's word is true.

So, we are to mimic and imitate the truthfulness of God. In other words, lying should never be a part of your family. Why? Because Satan is the father of lies, John 8, 44. And therefore, we need to speak the truth in our homes. Do you speak the truth to your wife? Do you tell her the truth? Does she, in turn, tell you the truth? How about your children? Are they truth tellers? Or do they like to keep secrets and hide things from mom and dad? Truthfulness needs to be a part of our family's DNA. Why?

Because we serve the God of truth. We are partakers of the divine nature of God, who is a holy God and a truthful God. Therefore, truth must permeate our homes. We must speak the truth always. Speak the truth, Ephesians 4, 25, in love. I love what it says over in Psalm 15, where it says, O Lord, who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell in your holy hill? He walks with integrity and works righteousness and speaks truth in his heart. In other words, truth comes from the inside of an individual. He speaks the truth from his heart.

I wonder if you and your family tell the truth. Do you speak truth? I love what it says over in Zechariah. Zechariah 8, verse number 13. Zechariah 8, verse number 16. These are the things which you should do, says the Lord. Speak the truth to one another. Judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates. Speak truth, judge by truth. In other words, everything that we do stems from the fact that we speak the truth. Not only we speak the truth, we are to stand firm on the truth and stand firm courageously on the truth.

We are to make sure that we are the defenders of the faith, the truth of God. But more so than anything else, there should be nothing but truth that permeates your home. Because once you begin to lie and deceive, all of a sudden, your home becomes a place where distrust runs rampant. And so you always encourage your children to speak the truth, to tell the truth, because you then, in turn, are modeling to them what the truth is. You are speaking truth to them. You're not lying to your children. You tell them the truth.

And so we model the truthfulness of God because our God is a God of truth. He holds truth in high esteem. His word is true. And one of the ways we imitate the Lord in our homes is by holding God's word in high esteem because it's the word of truth. And so you bow in submission to the truth of God's word. Are you submissive to the truth of God? Because God is a true God, His word is true, do you submit to the truth of God's word? Because you see, once you stop submitting to the truth of God's word, your children will stop submitting to the truth of God's word.

And so, therefore, whatever God says, we do. Whether we like it or whether we don't, whether it fits our agenda or whether it doesn't, we submit to the truth of God because God said it. It's best, it's right, it's true. And so God's word is true, therefore, we submit to that truth, therefore, we speak that truth, therefore, we stand strong on that truth because that's all we have to live for is the truth of the living God. So you need to model holiness, model truthfulness. Number three, model faithfulness.

Faithfulness. Are you faithful? 1 Corinthians 4, verse number 1, it's required of a steward that he be found faithful. What is a steward? A household manager. We are household managers of God's possessions. We know that our God is a faithful God. He is so faithful, 1 John 1, verse 9 says, he's faithful to forgive us of all our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Well, what would it be like if you went to God and said, Lord, I confess my sin, please forgive me? And God says, no, not going to do it today.

No, not going to happen. Well, wait a minute, Lord, I thought you were faithful to forgive. Well, I am, but not today. No, God is always faithful to forgive us. Are you faithful to forgive in your home? Do you demonstrate the faithfulness of God? The Lord is faithful enough that he's able to present a spotless and blameless before the throne of God, 1 Corinthians 5, 23 and 24. He's true to his character. He swears by his holiness and our God is a faithful God. The promises that God has made, he will keep because he's faithful.

So, in our homes, we model faithfulness. We model dependability, reliability, and credibility, because that's what faithfulness is. Can you be counted on? Can your word be counted on? Can your presence be counted on? Can your purity be counted on? Are you somebody that truly can be reliable or are you unreliable? You see, we need to be faithful people. I was sharing with the men in our last men's study a week ago on Monday, that, you know what, we're to be household managers, faithful managers of what God's entrusted to us.

And I said, we're to be faithful in terms of our spiritual resources. Why? Because 1 Timothy 4 verses 10 and 11, excuse me, 1 Peter 4, 10 and 11, tell us that we have been granted a gift in us, a serving gift, a speaking gift, and therefore, we are to be good stewards of the gifts that God has given to us. So, we challenge them. Are you a good household manager? Are you faithful at being a good steward of the gifts that God's given to you? So, because of spiritual resources, we need to be faithful at using them for the Lord.

We also ought to be faithful at our temporal riches. Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 8, that we are to be givers of what God has given to us because he's entrusted with so much. Therefore, we are stewards of temporal riches. We're stewards of personal relationships, Colossians 3, verses 15 to 17. We are stewards of eternal reconciliation, 2 Corinthians 5, right? Because we've been entrusted with the ministry of reconciliation as ambassadors of God. Are you faithful at keeping those things? Listen, are you faithful at going to church?

I mean, how much basic and simple can it possibly be? Are you a faithful churchgoer? Most of you know Harold Frazier in our church. He sits in the third row back every Sunday for a service.

And then he teaches all of our doctrinal electives. Harold's been a part of the ministry that I've been a part of in three different churches. Since 1988, when the first time I met Harold Frazier, he has been a part of the ministry of the churches that I've been a part of.

Orange County, two here in LA County. So for 36 years, Harold has been a part of the ministry. And you know what? Harold never misses, never misses. The man's always here. If he's not going to be here, he tells me he's going to be gone on vacation with his wife, but he's always here. So it wasn't too long ago that one day, Harold wasn't here. And no one knew where he was. You see, because he wasn't here and no one knew where he was, we thought something happened to Harold. And sure enough, he was.

He was in a car accident. I texted him between services. I texted him after our service. I tried calling him three or four times. He didn't pick up until later that night, he calls me and says, listen, I got your text. I got your phone. I just got back from the hospital. I was in a car accident on my way to church this morning. Why do I tell you this story? I tell you this story because some people don't show up. We just figure they're not going to be here anyway, right? They're either off doing this or either off doing that.

But for Harold not to show up, it was such an anomaly, everybody wondered what happened to Harold. Why? Because he's so faithful in his attendance. He is so... You can set your clock by the fact that the man is always here, right? That's because he is so desperately faithful to serving the Lord and being a part of our church ministry. And so, just a simple thing of being a faithful church attender, just think about it. You want to establish in your children faithfulness. Proverbs 20, verse number 6, many a man proclaims his loyalty, but who can really find a faithful man or a trustworthy man?

In other words, there are many people who say, well, yeah, I'm loyal. You can count on me. But can you really count on you? Are you really dependable? Are you really reliable? Listen to what it says over in Proverbs chapter 28, verse number 20. A faithful man will abound with blessing. A faithful man abounds with blessing. Why? Because the mark of our Lord is his faithfulness. You can count on him. So, in your family, you want to model faithfulness to your wife. You want to model the fact that you're going to be faithful to her no matter what.

You're going to be true to her no matter what. You want to model faithfulness, commitment, reliability, dependability. You want her to know that you're always going to be there. You want your children to know they can count on you. As a father, as a mother, you will always be there. You will be there to provide for them. You will be there to protect them. You will be there because you're going to watch over them, and they can count on you because you're faithful. It's required of a steward that he be found faithful.

Listen, that's the one thing that God requires from you and me, that we be found faithful. Totally and utterly committed to what it is we say we're going to do. And so, therefore, we must be faithful people. So we want to model his faithfulness. Paul modeled faithfulness all throughout his life. So by the end, when he came to the end of his life in 2 Timothy 4, he says this, I am already being poured out like a drink offering. In the time of my departure has come, I have fought the good fight. I have finished the course.

I have kept the faith. In other words, I've been faithful to the fight. I've been faithful to the faith, and I'm faithful all the way to the finish. I've kept the faith. And now, there is laid up in store for me a crown of righteousness, and not for me only, but for all those who love us appearing. I'm here because I have been faithful all the way to the end. Listen, it's not how you begin, it's how you finish, right? You want to finish well, you want to finish strong, you want to finish committed, you want to finish faithful all the way to the very end because you want to model Christ in your marriage and family.

Are you holy? Are you truthful? Are you faithful? Modeling those things is who Christ is, and he wants us to follow him. How about this? His goodness, not just his holiness, not just his truthfulness, not just his faithfulness, but his goodness. Our God is good, Psalm 119.68. He is good and doeth good. Psalm 145, verse number 9, the Lord is good to all. In fact, in Exodus 33, God defines all of his attributes with one word. I will let all my goodness pass before you. This is my glory. These are my attributes.

I want to sum up with one word, goodness. I will let all my goodness pass before you. Over in Psalm 135, it says, praise the Lord for the Lord is good. Psalm 106, verse number 1, give thanks for the Lord is good. How about you? Do you model the goodness of the Lord? In other words, do you return good for evil? Proverbs, I'm sorry, Romans chapter 12, verse number 19. Do you return good for evil? Do you try to overcome evil with evil or do you overcome evil with good? Goodness. Are you that kind of person?

The Bible says in Galatians 6, verse number 9, these words, Galatians 6, verse number 9, let us not lose heart in doing good.

For in due time, we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people and especially to those who are the household of the faith. And then, how about this verse, 3 John 11. 3 John 11, beloved, do not imitate what is evil. Instead, imitate what is good. The one who does good is of God. The one who does evil has not seen God. That's pretty black and white. A number of years ago, it was almost, wow, 30 years ago now, over 30, over 31 years ago. I was counseling a couple and they were notorious for throwing things at one another.

Every time there was an argument, they began to throw things. Well, whatever was around them, they began to pick up and hurl at one another. It was one of the most unbelievable, bizarre counseling experiences I ever had because they were both volatile. And they would look to, for whatever was, a plate, a pot, a cup, whatever it was, they would pick it up and begin to hurl it. Well, when she hurled it at him, he turned around, hurled something at her. And finally, they came to me and said, you know what, after she one day threw a knife at him and it didn't stick but it bounced off his shoulder, he said, that's it, we got to go see the pastor.

When all else fails, go see the pastor, right? So they came to me and said, look, we are volatile. We just cannot stop throwing things at one another. I'm like, really? That's what you guys do when you have a fight? Yeah, man, we just, I mean, we have real knockdown, drag out fights. We don't punch one another, but we throw things at one another. So I said, okay. I read to them 3 John 11, okay? I said, let me read to you what 3 John 11 says.

Now if you love the Lord, I want you to return good and not return pots and pans. That's what I want you to do. So we prayed. They left. I said, I want you to come back next week and tell me how it goes. And so sure enough, they came back the following week and they had a great story because they had, the very next day, they had a knockdown, drag out argument and the wife began to throw things at her husband. And so instead of throwing things back at her, he walked up to her and as she was walking toward her, she kept throwing things at him.

So he was bobbing and weaving at the different things that were coming down the aisle, you know, but he just kept walking toward her. And she said, stay away, stay away. And he finally got to her and he began to put his arms around her and began to hug her and say, you know what?

I'm not throwing anything back at you anymore. I'm going to return all, all your evil with goodness and I'm going to be kind, I'm going to be gentle. He told me, he says, it took everything in him not to hurl something back at her or to squeeze her so tight, all the air would go out of her. But he said, you know what? That turned everything around. And she sat in my office, he said, you know, pastor, I cannot believe this is how my husband treated me. He returned good for all of my evil. And she goes, he won me over at that moment.

So since the day we left your office, we had to fight the next day, we haven't had any argument since then. And we have purposed in our hearts that no matter what the argument is, never again will we pick up an instrument or whatever is at our disposal and throw it at one another. Instead, we will begin to embrace one another in the midst of the argument and work it through. You know, that's returning good for evil. And I wonder how many times that in our marriages, we're not looking to be kind. We're looking to one up the other one.

And yet, our God is a good God and He's good to all men, not just some men. And our God expects us to model His goodness. Love is patient and love is kind, right? Love is gentle. And because love is gentle and kind, it returns good for evil. And that's how we're going to live our lives. And I would trust that in your marriage, you can be able to return good for the evil, the other one does, because it does win them over. In fact, Romans 12 talks about keeping burning coals of shame upon their head because you're not seeking vengeance.

You're not trying to get back or get even or get ahead. You're just returning good for evil. That's what you do. That's the goodness of God. Maybe we model that in our marriages, not only His goodness, but how about this, His graciousness, God is the God of grace, right? We understand that 1 Peter 5.10 calls Him the God of all grace. He gives us constantly that which we do not deserve. Grace says, no hell, and mercy says, heaven, right? Grace removes the guilt and grace is for the guilty, excuse me, and mercy is for the miserable.

And God is the one who bestows grace upon us, unmerited favor, because we're so undeserving. Well, you know what? We need to be graceful and gracious to our husband and to our wife and to our children. We're bestowing grace upon them. They don't deserve grace because it's unmerited favor, but we bestow it upon someone simply because we want to show acts of kindness and mercy and love. And so, it's very important to understand that the Bible says in Isaiah 30, verse number 18, these words, therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.

Do you long to be gracious to your husband and to your wife, to your children? God wants us to be gracious toward one another. In fact, the Bible says in Ephesians chapter 4, Ephesians 4, verse number 29, these words, He says, let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification.

According to the need of the moment is that we'll give grace to those who hear. In other words, no unwholesome word is to come out of our mouth, no unclean word, no word that's not beneficial is to come out of our mouth. That's a revolutionary kind of verse, isn't it? Because that's not what happens in most of our marriages. We let all kinds of things fly, but we don't have to let any unwholesome word proceed out of our mouth. But the word that really builds up and edifies, that it might minister grace, it might minister the comfort, it might minister the strength that the other person needs, Colossians 4, verse number 2 tells us that we're to let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt.

Salt is a purifier, salts are preservative. Our words should be pure words. Our words should be the words that preserve relationships, not destroy relationships. In fact, Luke 4.22 tells us that everyone was wondering at the gracious words of our Lord. They sat back and wondered in bewilderment on how gracious He was with His words. What a tremendous statement. How about you? Do you model His graciousness, His goodness, His faithfulness, His truthfulness, His holiness? And then there's also His humbleness, Philippians chapter 2.

You know those words, Philippians chapter 2. So important to understand that we are to do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Model His humbleness. Our Lord was so humble when He set aside, what, all of glory to become a man, to humble Himself, even to the point of death. How about in your marriage, do you live the humble life?

You know, we are to do justly, Micah 6.8, we are to love mercy, and we are to walk humbly with our God. You know, the reason we don't walk in humility is because we're too arrogant, too prideful. And we just don't want to humble ourselves to let the other one have the final word, simply because of our pride. But our Lord was humble. We have to model His humbleness. How about this? His brightness. Our Lord is light, right, and Him is no darkness at all. Ephesians 5.8 says we are to walk as children of light.

We are to walk brightly. And when you walk brightly, listen, what does light do? Light exposes that which is hidden. So when you walk in His brightness, you model the brightness of God as character, you're exposing that which is hidden in the dark places. At the same time, not only are you exposing that which is sin, you want to be able then to turn all that around and enable others to see where they're going. And when you walk in brightness, you're walking with the glory of the Lord, reflecting His image so others can see the way they're supposed to go.

And then number eight, model His forgiveness. Our Lord is a forgiving God, and we need to be forgiving kind of people. And I wish I could spend a whole month on these things because they're so important. But we need to model Christ to one another. If you model Christ, then the next letter in the alphabet is N, and that is negate any conversation about divorce. Negate any thought of divorce. So many times, we easily look for the way out, but you know what? If you want to build a marriage with a firm foundation, negate any thought of divorce.

Turn with me in your Bible to Philippians chapter 4 for a second. This is so important because you know what? We can easily throw the D word out. We know that Malachi 2.16 says that God hates divorce. So why would we want to do something that God hates, right? And so you need to negate any thought of divorce in your marriage because sometimes we want to throw that out there to try to manipulate the situation, manipulate the marriage, try to get the other one to respond because if you don't, I'm going to leave you.

Well, that doesn't do anybody any good. You have to negate any thought of divorce. And let me show you how that happens, okay?

Number one, you need to be joyful. Philippians 4, verse number 4, rejoice in the Lord always, and again, I say, rejoice. You need to be joyful. The Bible says you're to rejoice with the wife of your youth.

Proverbs 5, verse number 18. In other words, we are to be ecstatic about the wife of our youth. The one that we married years ago. Rejoice with her. And we are to be joyful in the Lord because sometimes your wife doesn't bring you joy and your husband doesn't bring you joy, right? They do things that disappoint us, that discourage us, that get us so upset sometimes. So we are to rejoice in the Lord. Not, didn't say rejoice in your husband or rejoice in your wife or rejoice in your marriage. It says rejoice in the Lord.

Why? Because he is the one who allowed you this gift of marriage. So you rejoice in the Lord. Be joyful. And then number two, be helpful.

Look what it says. Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. Be helpful. In other words, let your sweet spirit, your reasonable spirit, your generous spirit, your goodwill spirit, your friendliness, your charity. In other words, he is using a word that speaks of how you deal with other people's faults. You do it in such a kind kind of way. Once you're joyful, be helpful. Then be watchful. Why? Because the Lord is near. Some translators say the Lord is next. In other words, he's right around the corner.

He is next. And you need to be watchful for that. But more than that, I think it speaks of his presence. Watch for the presence of God. He's always there. But be watchful. Why? Because the Lord is near. He's present among you. He's not absent. So be joyful. Be helpful. Be watchful. Be prayerful. For he says, be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, be thankful, be prayerful, be thankful, right? He says this, let your request be known to God. Remember 1 Peter 5, 7, cast all your anxiety upon him because he cares for you.

All your anxiety. Be prayerful, be thankful. Why? Because all this is leading up to something. You need to be mindful. You need to be mindful. Verse 8, finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence, if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things, okay?

So listen, you can't be mindful unless you're thankful. You won't be thankful unless you're prayerful, right? You won't be prayerful unless you're watchful because you don't recognize the Lord's around. And you need to be helpful and joyful. Now you can be mindful. Mindful of what? Your mind needs to be filled with these eight virtues. Now it's hard. Why? Because our mind is filled with so much junk. Think about it. Just look at your phone tonight when you go home and look at your phone because it will tell you how much time you spent on your phone today, how much time you spent on social media today, how much time you went scrolling through your Twitter account, okay?

And because when you do that, it just goes on and on and on and on, it's a never-ending scrolling account. It just keeps going on and on and on, right? But we spend all of our time there. And we take in all this junk. We spend all our time on Instagram, right? And we watch everybody else's marriage and the fun they're having on their spring break weekend or getaway and, oh, their marriage must be so beautiful because they're on Instagram posting pictures. That's not reality. That's just what they want you to see.

They don't want you to see all the other things that are going on. They just want you to see that post. That's it. But you see, we watch that and we think, oh, man, I wish my husband would take me to that kind of place like he took her to that kind of place. I wish that we could do this as a family. And all of a sudden, you become very discontent with your marriage, with your situation, with your finances, right? Because we dwell on the things that just don't matter. We dwell on things that are not even true most of the time.

But we just keep soaking it in, hour after hour after hour, watching, reading, looking, right? Listen, you need to get off your phone. You need to get off Instagram. You need to get off Twitter. You need to get off if you're old enough. If you are old, you're on Facebook. If you're young, you're not on Facebook. If you're old, you're on Facebook. But get off all that stuff. It doesn't do you any good. It just makes you discontent with your marriage and your lifestyle, right? Because you're not dwelling on what Paul says in Philippians chapter 4, verse number 8.

He says, finally brethren, whatever's true, whatever's true, what's true? God's Word is true, right? God is true. Let your mind dwell on that which is true. There's so much on social media that's untrue. That's not even close to being true. But we know that God's Word is true, so dwell on that. Colossians 3, verse 16. Let the Word of Christ be at home in your heart, right? In other words, don't let the Word of God become a stranger to your heart. But for a lot of us, God's Word is a stranger to us because we don't dwell on what is true.

And we need to be people of truth. And so you begin thinking about God and His Word, you can have a right perspective on life. See, we're more governed by culture than we are to Christ. We care more about what society thinks than what the Scripture actually says. And we live our lives based on feeling, not based on faith. And that's always a problem. It just is. So Paul says, listen, you need to rectify your thinking process. We need to be renewed in the spirit of our minds, Ephesians 4. We're not to be conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of our minds, right?

As a man thinks within himself, so is he. So our thinking process needs to change because the more you think on things outside the Word of God, outside the things that are true, the more apt you're going to think about wishing your life was different than it is instead of realizing what God's given to you. And so, he says, dwell on these things that are true, reading it, meditating upon it, analyzing it. And then he says, whatever is honorable, honorable. Is your Twitter account honorable? Honorable.

Is what you see on Instagram honorable? In other words, worthy of worship, worthy of reverence. In other words, you're not thinking on things that are temporal, not thinking on things that are trivial, mundane, or even common. You're thinking of things that are worthy of honor, that are worthy of reverence and worship. That would require you to spend time in the Word of the Lord. Could you imagine if you spent as much time in the Word of the Lord as you do on social media? How much different your thought process would be?

So the challenge for you this week is to reverse everything. Reverse the time you spend on social media and use all that time spending in the Word of the Lord. And all the time you spend in the Word of the Lord, spend on social media. You'll have a whole new perspective by the end of the week. Thinking of things that are honorable. How about this? Thinking of things that are right, righteous, that are in line with the righteous character of God. How about this? On things that are pure. Things that are holy, morally clean.

Things that are undefiled. Thinking of things that are lovely. Lovely. And that's a word only used here in the Scriptures. It's a word that means gracious or generous or patient, pleasing, attractive to God. Do you think of the things that are attractive and pleasing to God? And then it says, whatever is of good repute. Again, a word that's only used here in the New Testament, highly regarded or well thought of. Dwell on these things. If there's any excellence, if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

You see, how do you negate any thought of divorce? By dwelling on these things. You have no time to think about divorce. You have no time to think about leaving. You want to model Christ, right? He hates divorce anyway. Right? So you're going to model Christ. And now I want my mind to dwell on these things so that I have no thought of ever wanting to leave my wife or my husband because I'm committed and faithful to living out the trueness of who God is. So, he says, be joyful, be helpful, be watchful, be prayerful, be thankful, so you'll be mindful.

And if you are mindful, then you can be dutiful. He says this, the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things and the God of peace will be with you. Practice these things. Do them. And when you do the things that you've seen in me and heard from me, Paul says, guess what? God's peace will be with you. And you need to be at peace with the living God. Let me pray with you.

Father, thank you for tonight, the chance you give us to spend time in your word. Lord, help us to have marriages that honor and glorify your name. Give us wisdom. Give us strength. Help us to want to honor you and glorify your precious name. Lord, you are a great God. You've given us this opportunity to spend in your word. You've challenged us with your word to live your life, to model you, and to make sure our thoughts are pure and holy and always above and not below. Please, Lord, go before us.

We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.