Measuring Manhood, Part 1

Let's bow for a moment of prayer together.

Father, we thank you, Lord, for our chance to be together this evening. Truly, Lord, your word is great, and in your word we understand all the things that pertain to life and godliness. And we understand you, and we come to grips with the reality of your character, and we realize how great and wonderful, and loving, and kind, and just how awesome our Lord is. And I pray tonight that as we study your word once again, you'd open our eyes that we might be able to behold wonderful things out of thy law and thus leave, knowing exactly what you'd have us do, that we might live for the glory and honor of our King. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Tonight, in the next couple of weeks, I want to talk to you about biblical manhood. What does the Bible say about a real man? The reason we're addressing this is because there are so many different interpretations of what it means to be a man. You have Hollywood's version of manhood. And you can watch television, you can go to the movies, and get a variety of ways in which man is depicted on the screen. You can go to your school, and whether it's a college or a university, or whether it's an elementary school or a high school, and you're going to get different views on what it means to be a man. You can go to different churches, even, and get a wide variety of what it means to truly be a man of God. You can read books about manhood. And even your own wife has a version of what a real man looks like and what a real man acts like. She's not always right, but she might be close to being right, but she's not always right. And so you need to understand exactly what the Bible says concerning biblical manhood.

The Bible says that all scripture is God-breathed. It's all inspired by God. And because it is, it's profitable for teaching, for correction, for reproof, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God might be thoroughly put together. In other words, we have the Word of God that allows every man, every woman, every boy, every girl to be thoroughly equipped, thoroughly attached. For lack of a better phrase, that will help him be the kind of individual that God wants him to be. In other words, God's word is sufficient. God's Word is complete. God's Word helps us understand exactly what God has for us as individuals.

And we at Christ Community Church have studied a lot about men over the years. We began when we studied the book of Genesis, and we talked about Adam, and looked at his manhood, and we looked at Moses' manhood, and Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and Joseph. And Gideon recently, King David, we're certainly going to be doing the life of Samson. Then we're going to do the life of Nehemiah. And so we've looked at several men in scripture to help us understand how God has used them and how God has molded them, how God has framed them to be the kind of individuals he wants them to be.

At the same time, we've learned all kinds of lessons about how things should not be based on how those men responded to God and His Word, and the prophets that came and spoke to them. And so we learn a lot from those individual characters in the Scriptures. And as we study them, we come to grips with what it means to be a man of God. At the same time, we realize that God's Word teaches us so much about our lives.

We need men who are strong, confident, competent, courageous. Men whose character is blameless. Men who are doers of the word, not just merely hearers of the word. That they actually want to do what God's word says. And that's the bottom line. The bottom line is: Am I the kind of individual that really wants to put into practice what God says, or do I just kind of let it roll off my back as water off a duck's back and have no effect on my life? Because the bottom line for all of us is whether we will do or not do what God says in his word.

A lot of us, as we said on Sunday, are like the people in Jerusalem in Mark chapter 12, who loved, who enjoyed listening to the words of Jesus on Wednesday, but yelled crucify him on Friday. A lot like Herod Antipas in Mark chapter 6. He loved, he enjoyed listening to the words of John the Baptist and then beheaded him. Or like the Israelites in Ezekiel's day, they loved to hear the words of Ezekiel, even though he preached about judgment and the coming judgment, and it would overtake them. They just never acted upon what he said. That's a lot of people in the church today. They hear what God's word says, they just don't heed what God's word says. And so we need to be the kind of individuals that are doers of the Word of God.

And the principles we're going to give you over the next several weeks, there are 12 of them altogether - 12 principles that will help you understand biblical manhood. They come down to the fact that I will either do what God's word says or I won't. And my prayer is that you would be driven by the Spirit of God to do exactly what the Word of God says.

So, a number of years ago, I came across a book. This was a long time ago. It was a big number of years ago. And it was entitled, "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche." And I like quiche. Okay? So I was kind of taken back by the title. So I purchased the book from the bookstore. And so I began to peruse the book. And it was all about the defining characteristics of a real man. In it, it had phrases like this: "Real men don't floss." I think, what do we mean real men don't floss? What do they use? They use their axe to pick their teeth. I don't know what they do. But real men don't floss. "Real men don't buy life insurance." Those are real men, the book says.

It also goes and says stuff like this. It says, "Real men don't use zip codes." Because everybody knows where you live, right? You don't need a zip code. Everybody knows where you live. "Real men are the individuals who never call for a fair catch" in football. "Real men," as it says in the book, says, "How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?" Answer: none. Because real men are not afraid of the dark. See? So I thought, I thought I would write into the publisher and add a chapter to the book. I thought I would add my take on what a real man looks like. And so I thought I would write to the publisher and I would put an appendix at the end of the book. And this is what mine would say, all right? "Real men don't love to sin." But I'm not sure that would have gone over very well in the book.

But that leads us into our topic of what it means to understand biblical manhood, the measure of manhood. How do you measure manhood scripturally? How do you know that the man you're sitting next to truly is a biblical man? How do you know that the individual you want to marry exemplifies manhood? Just because he looks like a man and dresses like a man, does he exemplify biblical manhood? How do you know that you have been involved in raising young boys to be men? How do you know as a grandfather that your grandsons are going to grow up and be men of God? How do you measure that? How do you understand that? How do you wrap your hands around that?

It wasn't too long ago that I had FaceTimed my father and my mother. And that's the best way to communicate with my dad because he has ALS and he can't speak. He can barely move. And so the best way to communicate with him is through FaceTime. And so I had he and my mom on there together. Usually I do it on Wednesdays before I preach. And I do it with my little mini iPad up in my office and just FaceTime them, talk to them. And I looked to my mom and dad. I said, "Dad, I want to let you know something. I don't know if you're going to live to Father's Day or not. I don't know if you're going to live to your birthday or not. I'm not sure you're going to make it to your 60th anniversary in October or not. I don't know that. You don't know that. I don't know that. Only God knows. But I want you to rest at ease that you have nothing else you need to say to me. You've said it all, you've done it all. So know this: that when you go home to be with the Lord, there really is nothing else for you to explain to me, to tell me. Because you have lived your life before me, you have taught me everything I needed to know that I might be the kind of man God wants me to be."

And you know, my dad, you know, he's not necessarily a crying man, but there were tears in his eyes as they would trickle down the side of his cheek. And of course, my mom, she cries at everything, and so she's crying all over the place. And I just wanted my father to know that he has exemplified to me everything I need to understand when it comes to being the man God wants me to be. He didn't fail in his ministry efforts. He succeeded because he lived his life for the glory and honor of God. And one day I want my sons to be able to say the same thing. And I want my grandsons to be able to say it to their fathers. And even on top of that, I want it to be you sitting there with your sons and grandsons talking to you, saying, "You've done it well, Dad. You've fought the fight, you've run the race, you've finished the course. You did it well. You did it well. You taught me." Because that's the legacy you want to pass on to your children.

And so, a lot of what I'm going to say are the principles that, through the 56 years that I've been alive, my father has instilled in me and taught me through his lips and through his life, through his marriage and through his ministry. Through his work and through his worship. These are the things that my father has taught me. And I want to be able to share them with you.

There are times I sit in my office and I think, well, I can't wait to say this. I can't wait to teach on this. I can't wait to get into this. I can't wait to get into Samson's life in the fall. I can't wait to get into Hebrews, after we're done with Luke, and I just can't wait to get into the next book, but I can't wait to get back into Luke again anyway. That's the kind of drive and passion I have as a pastor, because every week I learn more and more, I just want to share with you the things God's teaching me. But this little series is not very long, it's just 12 principles. I'm going to share four a week. That's the plan. I'm not sure it's going to go that way, but it's going to have to go that way because I only have three weeks to say it in. And so, hopefully, I can get all 12 principles done for you in three weeks that you might be able to understand the measure of manhood.

Real men don't love sin. In fact, the very first point is this: that manhood is measured by the fact that real men hate their iniquity. They hate their iniquity. And this is where it has to begin. You can't love sin and be a real man of God. You just can't. Now, you're going to sin, you just can't love sin. And that's the essence of biblical manhood. Real men hate their iniquity. They hate it. That's why it says in Psalm 97, verse number 10: "Hate evil, you who love the Lord." Hate evil.

You can begin tonight to measure your manhood by how much you hate to sin. How much you despise sin. How much sin repudiates you? How much sin just infuriates you? Because if it doesn't, there's a problem. Because if you love to sin, guess what? You're going to sin. Because we always do the things that we want to do. But real men, they hate their sin. So the measure of manhood begins with the fact that he hates his iniquity.

The Bible says over in Ephesians chapter 5, these words: verse number 3: "Do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you as is proper among saints. And there must be no filthiness and silly talk or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks." Paul says, you know, don't give coarse jesting. Don't tell jokes that are coarse and be involved in silly activities. Don't be involved in those things. Things that lead people into sin. In fact, he goes on to say this in verse number 11. He says, "Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them." Don't participate in them, "for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret."

Listen to what David said in Psalm 101. Psalm 101, David says these words. He says, "I will sing of loving kindness and justice. To thee, O Lord, I will sing praises. I will give heed to the blameless way. When wilt thou come to me? I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart. I will set no worthless thing before my eyes." I will set nothing before my eyes that's empty, that's futile, that's worthless. And David had no television. He had no television. But he purposed in his heart not to put anything before him that was worthless. He says, "I hate the work of those who fall away. It shall not fasten its grip on me. A perverse heart shall depart from me. I will know no evil. Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy. No one who has a haughty look and an arrogant heart will I endure." I'm not going to endure the prideful. I'm not going to have them around me.

In fact, he goes on to say, "My eye shall be upon the faithful of the land, and they may dwell with me. He who walks in a blameless way is the one who will minister to me. He who practices deceit shall not dwell within my house. He who speaks falsehood shall not maintain his position before me. Every morning I will destroy all the wicked of the land, so as to cut off from the city of the Lord all those who do iniquity." David was serious about sin. He was serious enough about it that he wasn't going to dwell and have those people in his house that spoke falsehood. In fact, he would destroy those who would slander their neighbor. That's what David's attitude was. Because he knew of the effects of sin. He knew that.

If you got your Bible, turn with me to the book of Job for a moment. Job is an interesting character. Job is a man who gives us the definition of biblical ruggedness. This was a unique man. The Bible says in verse 1 of the book of Job, "There was a man in the land of Uz" - that is not Oz - "whose name was Job. And that man was blameless, upright, fearing God, turning away from" what? "Evil."

I look at Job and I look at his life and I ask myself, how did Job make it without men's retreats? How did Job know to fear God and turn away from evil without ever reading books about biblical manhood? How did Job do it without a, quote, "mentor"? Someone discipling him, nurturing him. How did Job do that? How did Job become a man that was well-respected, blameless, God-fearing, turning away from evil with no church to support him? In fact, all of his friends, you read about them, they're miserable counselors, he calls them. So how did Job do that? It's remarkable to me. This man lived a life of integrity. He lived a life of blamelessness. He turned away from evil. This was his lifestyle. He didn't want evil to penetrate his own personal life, nor did he want it to penetrate his home life. And as we go through our study, we're going to see where he would offer sacrifices. Always, continually, habitually on behalf of his children before the Levitical system was ever set up. Here was a man who was devoted to God.

And it just goes to show you that you don't need all those extra peripheral things to turn you to follow God. It all stems from the inside of a man, the heart of a man. Who says, "I want to serve God, I want to honor God, I want to follow God, I want to do what God's word says." That was Job. That was Job. In fact, the Bible says he was the most righteous man on the face of the earth. And he lived for the glory of his God. He hated sin so much that when his wife told him to sin, he did not.

He was so against sin that in the book of Job, his wife says to him, in verse 9 of chapter 2, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die." Just curse him and die. Be done with it. Curse God, die. Sin, Job. Sin against God. Put yourself out of your misery. At the same time, I'll be out of my misery because I'm your wife and I got to take care of you, and I don't want to do that anymore. So, curse God and die, we'll both be free. Job says, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

In verse 22 of chapter 1, it says, "Through all of this, Job did not sin, nor did he blame God." Here's the point of Job. And get it and get it good because Job was able to lead in the midst of all of his pain and all of his adversity. In fact, he became a better leader of his family and a better leader of those who came to know him because of his adversity. He led best out of adversity and out of pain. And a lot of times when we have pain, what do we do? We want to curl up under our bed and we want people to take care of us. And Job wasn't that way. He was committed to doing what God wanted him to do. He lived a life that made his relationship with God appealing to others.

It was Martin Lloyd-Jones who said these words. He said, "We should give our children the impression that the most wonderful thing in the world is Christianity and that there is nothing in life comparable to being a Christian." Now think about that for a moment. We should give our children the impression that the most wonderful life in all the world is the Christian life. That's the best life. That's the only life. So much so that everything else pales in comparison to Christianity. Now, ask yourself this question. As a father, have I portrayed that to my children? Do my children know? Do my children know that my Christian walk, my walk with the Lord, is my priority? It is my passion. It is my life. They know that. And that I live in such a way, it makes it appealing to them.

You see, that's one thing my father did for me. My father wasn't a pastor. Okay, he taught a Sunday school class for well over 35 years, and he was committed to his church. But my dad, you know, he's an air traffic controller for 20 years, he was an insurance salesman for 40 years. That's his life, that's what he's done. But he made Christianity appealing. He made Christianity something that you would want to have. He lived the Christian life. And therefore, we need to realize: what am I portraying to my children? Am I showing them that the Christian life is the greatest of all lives? It's the best life. It's the most vibrant life. It's the Christ life. It's the real life. Or do they sit there and say, "My dad's wacko. I'm not sure I want to follow that direction. I'm not sure I'm into that kind of religious stuff, or I'm into Jesus like my dad's into Jesus."

How do you portray Christ to your children, to your grandchildren? How do you live your life before them? Job was a man who hated iniquity so much that when his wife begged him to curse God and die, he would not. That's the man who hates sin. And that's where we need to be. The kind of people who hate sin.

This is a great book. I've referred to it many times over the years. It's called "The Godly Man's Picture." I'm going to recommend to you three books during our time together. This is one of them: "The Godly Man's Picture" by Thomas Watson. He's a great Puritan. Every man ought to have this on his shelf. So, I'm going to give you ideas for Father's Day. All right. Books that you can buy on Amazon. Get it, Amazon Prime Delivery. Get it in two days. You can get it before Father's Day. Okay? This is an important book. This is a great book. It's called "The Godly Man's Picture." Thomas Watson, you ought to read this inside and out, through and through. You ought to read it through once a year.

He talks about the godly man, and in it he says these words. He says that the godly man does not indulge himself in any sin. He talks about the secret sins. He talks about the gainful sins. And then he talks about the beloved sin. That's always a good one. The beloved sin, the one you really love to do. I know that's none of you. That's the other church down the road who loves that. It's not none of you here. But the bottom line is there are those beloved sins. And he goes on and describes how do you know the beloved sin in your life? He says, the sin which a man does not love to have reproved is his beloved sin. Do you want anybody to rebuke you about those things? He says the sin on which the thoughts run most is that darling sin. Where do your thoughts run the most? What do you not like to have reproved or rebuked? And then he says: the sin which has the most power over us and most easily leads us captive is the beloved sin of the soul.

He goes on and explains each of these. I'm not going to do that for you. You can get the book yourself and read it. He says, the sin which men use arguments to defend is the beloved sin. You're engaged in something, and people come out and speak against it, and you do all you can to defend your sin. That's your beloved sin, he says. The sin which most troubles us and flies most in the face in an hour of sickness and distress, that is, as he calls it, the Delilah sin. He says the sin which a man finds most difficulty in giving up is his beloved sin. The one he doesn't want to give up. The last one on the list, the one he has to, he just can't seem to let go. He's got that last little finger tied to it that he can't let it go. He just can't. That's his beloved sin. And then he goes on and talks about how that beloved sin works to defeat the direction of your life. It's a great book. Need to get it. Because he talks about the godly man. What does he look like?

And so, as we understand the measure of a man, measuring our manhood, the man of God hates his iniquity. Number two, he demonstrates his integrity. He demonstrates his integrity. You know, and I did everything within me not to take one of these and cover them in 12 weeks. So I'm holding back on you here. He demonstrates his integrity. You're still in the book of Job. It says these words: "There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless, upright, fearing God, and turning away from sin." He was a man of integrity.

The word integrity means wholeness. It means completeness. It's a word that describes that everything about you is congruent. Nothing is out of whack. There's no duplicity. There's no hypocrisy. Who you are in here on Sunday is exactly who you are in the car on the way home from church on Sunday and on Monday at work. There's no difference. The language you use here at church is the exact same language you use in the office. The same covenant you make with your eyes at church is the same covenant you make with your eyes in the secrecy of your home. The same way you put your arm around your wife and treat your wife at church is the exact same way you do it at home. Everything you say is mirrored in the way you live. There's no hypocrisy. There's no duplicity. It's all one and the same. That's integrity. That was Job. He lived a blameless life. He lived a God-fearing kind of life. He lived a life where he desired to turn away from evil. He wanted to turn away from evil.

That's why I love that phrase in 1 Timothy 6, verse number 11, where Paul says, "Oh, Timothy. But you, O man of God" - only time the phrase "man of God" is used in the New Testament to describe a man. Paul was never called a man of God in the New Testament. He was a man of God, but he's never called a man of God. Okay, Peter, man of God, yes, never called the man of God. But Timothy was, "but you, oh man of God." "Flee these things." Be a running man. "Flee these things," in the context, it deals with the love of money. Flee the love of money. Other places, Paul would say, "flee immorality, flee idolatry," run away from those things. The man of God is known by what he runs from. The man of God is known by what he hates more than by what he loves.

You define a man by the fact that he doesn't want to be around those things that will deter him from walking with God. That's the man of God. And so Paul says to Timothy, "You, oh man of God, you flee these things and you pursue righteousness, you pursue holiness, you pursue" those spiritual virtues that will make you the kind of man God wants you to be, "and you fight for your Savior, you live for God, but you can't fight for God unless you flee from those things that God opposes." He exhorts Timothy at the end of 1 Timothy chapter 6 to follow the Lord God. And the bottom line is that the measure of a man is seen in what he hates. He hates his iniquity, and in so doing, he's able now to demonstrate his integrity. There's believability about his life. He demonstrates to everybody who sees him his integrity.

Listen to what it says about Job. Job chapter 29 says this, verse 7: "When I went out to the gate of the city, when I took my seat in the square," Job was a leader in his town. "Young men saw me and hid themselves. The old men arose and stood" out of respect. It says "the princes stopped talking and put their hands on their mouths. The voice of the nobles was hushed, and their tongues stuck to their palates." When Job walked into the place of leadership in the city, everybody stood up, took notice. It was quiet. Why? What were they doing? "For when the ear heard, it called me blessed. And when the eye saw, it gave witness of me. Because I delivered the poor who cried for help, and the orphan who had no helper, the blessing of the one ready to perish came upon me, and I made the widow's heart sing for joy. I put on righteousness and it clothed me. My justice was like a robe and a turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was father to the needy. And I investigated a case which I did not know. And I broke the jaws of the wicked and snatched the prey from his teeth."

In other words, he was a man of integrity. He took care of those who were in need. He watched out for those who needed help. He took care of them. And he was all clothed with righteousness. And everybody knew it. Everybody who saw him understood that about Job. And when he came walking in, all the young men were silent. Because here comes the man of integrity. Here comes the man who demonstrates the life of Christianity before the word Christianity was even thought of. Here was the man who lived a righteous life. And when you live that kind of life, people are put to silence. They have nothing to say because everything about what you do and how you live mirrors what you believe. That's why he was able to have the impact he did.

It says over in the book of Daniel, the sixth chapter, sixth chapter, the fourth verse about Daniel. "Then the commissioners and satraps began trying to find a ground of accusation against Daniel in regard to governmental affairs, but they could find no ground of accusation or evidence of corruption, inasmuch as he was faithful. And no negligence or corruption was to be found in him." There was nothing about Daniel's life. There was nothing in Daniel's life that people could see and accuse him of. He was a blameless man. Listen, a man sins for a day. A man sins even for a week. A man sins even for a month. But the man of God does not habitually sin year after year after year, doing the same thing over and over and over again. Why? Because he seeks to be reconciled with his God. He repents of his sin. He seeks to follow his God. That's why. And here was the man who demonstrated his integrity.

It says in the book of Proverbs, the 29th chapter, the seventh verse, these words: "A righteous man who walks in his integrity, how blessed are his sons after him." Listen, if you want your sons to be blessed, there's this one simple solution. Walk in integrity. Live a life that's believable. Live a life that matches your lips. And your sons will be blessed after you because they will see a model of character. Character counts, character is king, character rules, not competency. Character, character is everything. And as a man of God, you want to portray that to your children that they can see it, understand it, come to grips with it, and then follow it. He demonstrates his integrity.

That's why Paul said in 1 Timothy 4:16, "Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching." Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching because your teaching is affected by who you are. It affects everything you do. That's why he said in 1 Timothy 4:12, "You got to be an example in your speech, in your life, in your love. In your purity, in your faith," those five areas. You've got to be an example in. Why? You're a leader, Timothy. And if you're an example in those five areas, if you live those five areas, then your life will match your lips. You'll be a man of integrity. You'll have credibility. Your ministry will have believability. And you'll make a great impact for the kingdom of God. That's the way it needs to be for everybody.

So the man of God is measured by the fact that he hates his iniquity. He demonstrates his integrity. And number three, the man of God initiates his responsibility. He initiates his responsibility. This is one thing that people have a hard time with. They don't understand. A man is an initiator. A man does not sit back and wait for things to happen. A man aggressively attacks things and makes other things happen. That's important to understand that. Listen, procrastination gives birth to passivity, and passivity is one of the great detriments to manhood. You can't be passive and call yourself a biblical man. Can't be passive. You got to be aggressive, not in a negative way, not in a bullish kind of way, but you've got to be the pursuer. You've got to attack the challenge that's before you. You have to go after it. You have to initiate your responsibility.

Your responsibility when it comes to leading your wife and your children, your family, your responsibility in the workplace, your responsibility in the church, your responsibility with your walk with God. You must initiate all those things. You must be in the forefront. That's why you're called a leader. Leaders are always in the front. They're not in the back. The back are called followers. The front are called leaders, right? So you're in the front because you're leading. You're not in the back because you're following. You're a man, lead. That's what men do. They lead. It defines their character. It's who they are. They're leaders, not followers.

Now, you follow Christ, yes. You're always a follower of him because he's the ultimate leader. But you follow Christ so that you can be in the front to show people how to follow Christ. That's what leaders do. But we initiate our responsibility. "I will show you, O men, what is good. That is to act justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." Initiate those things. Act justly. Act justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly with your God. Acts 13, verse number 36. It says, "And after David had served God's purposes in his own generation, he fell asleep among his fathers." But he served God's purposes in his generation. He took the initiative to serve God and his purposes in his generation. So too should we. We need to be initiators.

Remember over in 1 Samuel chapter 17? The Israelites are going to battle with Goliath, and David's about 16 years of age. He's a young, for lack of a better phrase, a young high school boy. And it says in verse number 33: "Saul said to David, 'You are not able to go against the Philistine to fight with him, for you are but a youth. While he has been a warrior from his youth.'" But David said to Saul, "Your servant was tending his father's sheep when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb from the flock. I went out after him and attacked him and rescued it from his mouth, and when he rose up against me I seized him by his beard and struck him and killed him. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear, and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them. Since he has taunted the armies of the living God."

As you recall in our study of David's life, what made David so great was that he was faithful in the little areas. Now, killing a bear and killing a lion might not be a little area to you, but in light of the Philistine, it's a very small thing compared to the Philistine giant, Goliath. But because David was faithful in the little things and God had helped him slay those animals, he knew that God would help him in the bigger areas. David was an initiator, he was not passive. When everybody else was passive in the army, when even Saul himself would sit back and be passive, hoping that someone would take the leadership, so comes this little teenage boy who realizes what it means to take the initiative, to be responsible, to be responsible. I mean, we teach our children to be responsible, but we have to model that before them. That's so important.

We have tasks to do. We need to do them. We need to manage them. June 15th is just right around the corner. If you are self-employed and pay quarterly taxes, are you ready to pay those taxes on June 15th? Or are you behind? How about in your home? Are there things that need to be done? Did you just kind of push them aside and do them later? Hoping that maybe one of your children will get them done, or maybe your wife will get it done for you. You know, we need to be responsible. He initiates his responsibility. He realizes that he's the leader. Therefore, he does what is necessary to lead, to show the way.

Another book I would have recommended to you is called "A Guide to Biblical Manhood." Not a very big book at all. It's a very small book. But this book is really, really good because it should also be in your library and you can get it for your father for Father's Day. Kids don't buy me one, I got one already, so we're good to go. But if you want to get one for your father, grandfather, it's a good book. Listen to what this man says. It's very interesting. Page 11, he says this. "God gives you opportunities to take dominion by giving you some area of domain. Anywhere from a locker to a whole company. What domains has he given you? Even if a wife is helping you take dominion in those areas, how are you specifically leading and bearing responsibility?"

"What does your trunk, garage, closet, or desk look like? Well, most of us have a messy desk or a car trunk on occasion. A life that is consistently characterized by disorder is evidenced of a general pattern of passivity in the domains God gives you to work and keep. Your home, dorm room, garage, office, and car should bear the mark of your masculinity as you subdue it and keep it in order. Don't let your domains take dominion over you. A clean desk or organized garage doesn't constitute dominion, but it cultivates it and helps you take the same mindset to your family life, your work, and the world around you. How are you cultivating the inclination to order your private world?"

Good points. We tend to think of our car as something that I drive in and nobody else drives in. Somebody will listen to one of my tapes, and in the book of Proverbs, and I said you can always know about someone's character by looking at the inside of their car. Oh, the silence is deafening in here. Look at the inside of their car. How do they keep their car? It's an indication of what's going on in their lives. You say, "You can't do that." Yes, you can. Look at someone's desk. Look at someone's garage, and you can begin to say, "Is this person orderly? Is it together? Is he taking dominion over those small areas?" Because those are tiny areas. Those are no-brainer areas. What's it take to take your car to the car wash, have it washed, or better yet, to wash your own car and vacuum it out and keep it clean? How hard can that possibly be, right? That's why it's just a little thing. But you initiate responsibility, you take control of those little things because it helps you in the bigger areas of life. If you can't control the little things that really make no difference at all, how can you ever control the bigger things when they come upon you? You got to be organized. You got to be responsible. You got to put things together. You've got to initiate your responsibility. That's our responsibility as men. That's what we do. That's who we are. Well, at least that's who we should be. See?

And when David was able to order his private world on the backside of Bethlehem when nobody was looking. Nobody knew about the bear and the lions but David and God. And when he was back there faithfully tending the sheep and doing what he was supposed to do, God said to Samuel, "I got a man. And he's a man after my heart. That's the guy I want." He did it when no one was looking. See, we need to initiate our responsibility in those areas where no one notices, because only God is looking. Those are little things that need to be a part of our lives as we begin to understand more of what God calls us to do as men.

We also need to initiate our responsibility when it comes to forgiveness. We need to be forgivers. We can't be passive when it comes to forgiving. We must be aggressive forgivers. We must be aggressive lovers. Can't be a passive lover. In fact, I'm sure you can't be a lover and be passive at all. Because love is an action verb. And it demonstrates your aggressive action. And so therefore you have to initiate your responsibility when it comes to loving your wife and loving your children. Initiate your responsibility when it comes to forgiving. Initiate your responsibility when it comes to confronting conflict and sin. Take the initiative. Don't sit back and wait and hope it all just kind of falls away. Everything kind of pans out in the end. No, take initiative. Be responsible to handle those things. When it comes to forgiveness, when it comes to conflict. When it comes to loving those who are close to you, when it comes to apologizing, asking for forgiveness, and repenting, be aggressive. Be responsible. Take the initiative. "I was wrong. Please forgive me. I was at fault. It was my attitude. It was my sin. It was my issue. And I flew off at the handle. I was wrong. Please forgive me." Take the initiative, but we sit back and we just want our wife to take the initiative, our children to take the initiative, and be the first. And then we can come on and say, "Oh, yeah, you're right, okay. Yeah, please forgive me, too." That's not leadership, that's following. Be the leader. Take the initiative to be responsible in every area of your life.

Say, "Well, how am I going to do that?" You just take it one step at a time. Okay? Don't go home tonight and clean out your garage and take everything out of your closets and give your wife a headache. Okay? Just take it one step at a time. But if there's been sin, go home to your wife and say, "Honey, I was wrong. I need to ask your forgiveness. I was at fault." If there's been conflict in the home, go home and take the initiative to sit the children down and say, "Look, there's been conflict here. We've got to deal with this thing. Got to handle it." So many times we're passive with our children and their behavior at school or even at Sunday school. Aggressively deal with their behavior. Sit him down, deal with it. Take the initiative to be responsible as a man.

So, here we go. The real man, he hates his iniquity. Because he hates his iniquity, now he can demonstrate his integrity. As he demonstrates his integrity, he's freed up to initiate his responsibility because there's believability about his life. It's hard to initiate my responsibility in being a spiritual leader at home when my integrity is so marred. It's hard to reach out and love my wife when my integrity is shot and I love sin. See? So I hate my iniquity. I want to demonstrate my integrity. Therefore, now I'm free to initiate my responsibility.

Now, point number four, you effectuate your priorities. In other words, you put them in order. Everything about which you're responsible, you've got to put in order. You have to effectuate your priorities. In other words, you've got to prioritize your life. What do I have to do? When do I have to do it? And how do I do it? And a real man is going to do that. A real man is going to understand how to bring about that which needs to happen. He's going to effectuate his priorities. He's going to prioritize everything in his life. He knows that his relationship with God is number one. His relationship with God and his church, because you can't separate God from his church. That's number one. And then his wife is number two, his children are number three, his work is number four. But we have that all reversed. We have it all reversed today. Our work is number one.

Have you ever noticed that guys, they go to work, boy, they're aggressive, they're creative, they're innovative, and everybody respects them and loves them at work. And they come home and they're deadbeats. They're nowhere to be found. They come home and they immediately go to the gym because it's that escape to relieve the tension. And by the way, you should never go to the gym alone as a man. Just mark that down. Never go alone as a man. Take one of your kids with you, take your wife with you. It'll save you a lot of heartache down the road, believe me, brother. Never go alone. Always take one of your family members with you. So what if I'm single? Build your own gym. You know, I don't know. But the bottom line is, be careful, okay?

But yet, we come home and we can sit ourselves down, and I've heard the stories for years on end, where men come home from work and they are just entrepreneurial types at work, and everybody loves them, and they come home and they're just nothing at home. They just want to veg when they're home. They demand there be a meal when they get home. They want to sit and watch television when they get home. They just don't want to participate in the family environment at home. You know, it's just so important to realize that you have to prioritize everything. And the bottom line is, we do what we want to do. And our home life just is not a priority for us as men for the most part. It's just not, but it needs to be. Our home life needs to be the absolute priority. Outside the home, we can be everything, but inside the home, we can be very, very passive.

Another thing about Job. It says this in verse 4 of chapter 1. "And his sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. And it came about when the days of feasting had completed their cycle, that Job would send and consecrate them, rising up early in the morning and offering burnt offerings according to the number of them all for Job said, 'Perhaps my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.' Thus Job did continually." There was something habitual about his life. He acted as priest for his children. He was a priestly leader over his children. He would beseech God on their behalf. He would offer sacrifices on their behalf. It was the devotion of Job as a father. He becomes the quintessential husband and father. Most people never think of Job that way. Because in the midst of his suffering, he never ceased to be the kind of man he needed to be. But he habitually continually brought his children before the Lord and prayed for them and prayed with them.

And that's the kind of men that we need who effectuate their priorities to realize that I have a family I need to lead, a family I need to feed, a family I need to protect. A family I need to provide for. How can I best shepherd them? How can I best lead them? How can I best take them down the direction that God will have for them? So important that we understand that. That's the way Job was. Job never read Ephesians 6 or Deuteronomy 6. How did he do all that stuff? How did Job know that? Because God had spoken to Job. And Job listened. And Job was not a forgetful hearer of the word, but a doer of the word. He realized his devotion to the Lord God of Israel. And therefore, we need to make time to do that which is absolutely crucial.

One more book. "Being a Dad Who Leads" by John MacArthur. We've got a new book. Great book to give to your father at Father's Day. Listen to what he says. On page 79, "If you as a father want to raise up godly sons and daughters who will in turn become part of a generation that will lead their families to godliness, you must actively teach them wisdom from God's Word. This is consistent with your main priority as a father. When your kids look at you, do they see this as your main duty? Or do they simply perceive you as a breadwinner, or as the one who fixes the car, or mows the lawn, or takes out the trash? Based on your interactions with them day in and day out, would they guess that raising them up toward godliness is your first priority?" That's a great question.

And he goes on and talks about the things you need to teach your children. He gives you ten principles out of the book of Proverbs because Proverbs becomes the book directly written to young children. Therefore, he takes the ten principles out of there. At the end of that, he says this, which I thought was very insightful. He said these words as he goes through those 10 principles. He says, "If you fail to teach your children to fear God," which is principle number one, always teach your children to fear God. "But if you fail to teach them to fear God, the devil will teach them to reject and hate God. If you fail to teach your children to guard their minds," which is principle number two, how to protect your mind, how to guard your mind, all out of the book of Proverbs, "the devil will gladly teach them to have an open mind." Open mind. God doesn't want you to have an open mind. You have a guarded, protected mind.

Also, it says, "If you fail to teach your children to obey you and their mother, the devil will teach them to rebel and break your hearts. If you fail to teach your children to select their companions carefully, the devil will gladly choose their companions for them." He talks about how you help your children choose their companions carefully. Because our children are not wise enough necessarily to choose the right kind of friends. So he goes to the book of Proverbs to show you how do you choose your friends. Because who your friends are tells us more about you than your friends. Did you know that? We know more about you because of your friends than your friends. We know more about you because of your friends on your Facebook account than any other way we know about you. Did you know that? All we got to do is read what your friends say about you. And then we can tell a lot about you.

And then he says this: "If you fail to teach your children to control their bodies, the devil will teach them to give their bodies over to lust. If you fail to teach your children to enjoy their marriage partner given to them by God, the devil will teach them how to destroy their marriage through unfaithfulness and adultery. If you fail to teach your children to watch their words, the devil will fill their mouths with gossip, slanders, lies, and foul language. If you fail to teach your children to work hard, the devil will teach them to be lazy, which will impoverish them. If you fail to teach your children how to manage their money properly, the devil will teach them to spend it carelessly and go in debt. And if you fail to teach your children to love their neighbors, the devil will gladly teach them to love only themselves."

It's a great book. "Being a Dad Who Leads." We're called to lead. That's our responsibility. That's what God wants us to do: to lead. And it begins by hating iniquity, which leads to demonstrating my integrity, which leads to initiating my responsibility, which leads to effectuating my priorities. What is my priority? How do I prioritize my life? It comes down to this: how will I prioritize everything in my life? Is the Lord first in my life? Is God number one? Do my children know that walking with God is the passion? That walking in wisdom is my desire. Therefore, I'm going to pass that desire on to them. That they in turn will walk in wisdom? Do my children know that my wife is the love of my life, so that they in turn will learn to love their wives? And am I loving my children enough to demonstrate Christ to them, to lead them into the ways of righteousness. And then I can go to work. Then I can go to work. See, we think that work is the end-all-be-all.

God gives you, read the book of Ephesians, God gives you work so you can make money to give it away. Did you know that? He doesn't give you money to make more money. He gives you money so you can give it away to help people in need. Read the book of Ephesians. We forget that. We go to work to make money, to make more money, to buy bigger houses and bigger cars and better cars and better this and better that. We've missed the whole boat. We missed everything. And we got to realize that, yes, God has given us a place of employment, but that place of employment is only designed for me to live out my spiritual existence to people who don't know Christ. That's why I'm there. That's why I have the job I have. You think you have the job you have because you have a great education. Not in your life. Don't ever think that. Your education, you ask all the graduates of 2014 what kind of jobs they're getting because of their education. Not very good ones.

So, you are where you are because God put you there, and God puts you there for a specific purpose. So people will know about Christ. And if you fail to lead them to Christ, if you fail to teach them about Christ, if you fail to live a life of integrity, God will take that job right from you. Move you someplace else. Be careful. We need to live for the glory and honor of Christ, that we might honor him and him alone. We are to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, all of our soul, all of our mind, all of our strength. That frees me up to love my neighbor as myself, which is the first commandment. One and the same. They follow one upon the other, which allows me to love my wife as I need to love my wife. I can love my children and be what God wants me to be. We need men in the church who understand their priorities. Who understand that their ministry is at home and that that ministry is seen by a man who loves his God and loves his wife and loves his kids.

Charles Spurgeon said these words about a man loving his wife. He said, "A husband loves his wife with a constant love. And so does Christ's church. He will not cast her away tomorrow, having loved her today. He does not vary in his affection. He may change in his display of affection, but the affection itself is still the same. The husband loves his wife with an enduring love. It never will die out. He says, 'Till death us do part, will I cherish thee?' But Christ will not even let death part his love to his people. 'Nothing shall separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.' A husband loves his wife with a hearty love, with a love that is true and intense. It is not mere lip service. He does not merely speak, but he acts. He is ready to provide for her once. He will defend her, carry her. He will vindicate her honor because his heart is set upon her. It is not merely with the eye that he delights now and then to glance upon her, but his soul has her continually in his remembrance. She has a mansion in his heart from which she can never be cast away. She has become a portion of himself. She is a member of his body. She is part of his flesh and of his bones. And so is the church of Christ forever an eternal spouse."

We love our wives affectionately, passionately, intensely. We need to prioritize everything in our lives. What's number one in your life? Who leads the way? And thus we begin our study of measuring manhood. Where and how do you measure?

Let's pray.

Father, we thank you for our time together this evening. We thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to spend time in your word. Truly, your word is great and it's greatly to be praised because it speaks of the character and nature of our God. May we live for your glory and honor. May we serve you with a passion. And may we leave this place, realizing our responsibility to act in accordance with your word. Not to be merely hearers of the word, but doers of the word for your glory and honor. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.