Jacob Marries...Twice

If you have your Bible, I would invite you to turn with me to Genesis chapter 29. Jacob marries twice. It's a marvelous chapter. But when Jacob set out on a journey to Haran, he did not know all that was going to take place when it came to his marriage. And you know what? Neither do you, do you? When you got married, things didn't turn out the way you thought they were going to turn out either, 5, 10, 15 years down the road. None of us know what to expect. We have these grandiose ideas as to how our marriage partner is going to be and how things are going to turn out for our family.

And you know what? They never happen as we design them to happen, do they? There's always a twist here, a turn there. And God shows us that he's in control and God has a perfect plan. And usually it's always different than our plans. Well, in Genesis 29, it was completely different than what Jacob had ever designed in his own mind. We're going to look at two things, basically three things this morning.

There's only two in your notes. I've added one. We're going to look at the meeting, the marriage, and then the meaning for us this morning.

I'm going to read the text for you, Genesis 29, beginning with verse number 1. Then Jacob went on his journey and came to the land of the sons of the east. And he looked and saw a well in the field, and behold, three flocks of sheep were lying there beside it. For from that well they watered the flocks. And the stone in the mouth of the well was large. When all the flocks were gathered there, they would then roll the stone from the mouth of the well and water the sheep and put the stone back in its place on the mouth of the well.

Jacob said to them, My brothers, where are you from? And they said, We are from Haran. And he said to them, Do you know Laban the son of Nahor? And they said, We know him. And he said to them, Is it well with him? And they said, It is well. And behold, Rachel, his daughter, is coming with the sheep. And he said, Behold, it is still high day. It is not time for the livestock to be gathered. Water the sheep and go and pasture them. But they said, We cannot until all the flocks are gathered. And they rolled the stone from the mouth of the well.

Then they watered the sheep. While he was still speaking with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep, for she was a shepherdess. And it came about when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of Laban, his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban, his mother's brother, that Jacob went up and rolled the stone from the mouth of the well and watered the flock of Laban, his mother's brother. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and lifted his voice and wept. And Jacob told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and that he was Rebekah's son.

And she ran and told her father. So it came about when Laban heard the news of Jacob, his sister's son, that he ran to meet him and embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his house. Then he related to Laban all these things. And Laban said to him, Surely you are my bone and my flesh. And he stayed with him a month. Then Laban said to Jacob, Because you are my relative, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be? Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.

And Leah's eyes were weak. But Rachel was beautiful of form and face. Now Jacob loved Rachel. So he said, I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel. And Laban said, It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to another man. Stay with me. So Jacob served seven years for Rachel. And they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. Then Jacob said to Laban, Give me my wife, for my time is completed that I may go into her. And Laban gathered all the men of the place and made a feast.

Now it came about in the evening that he took his daughter Leah and brought her to him. And Jacob went into her. Laban also gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah as a maid. So it came about in the morning that, behold, it was Leah. And he said to Laban, What is this that you have done to me? Was it not Rachel that I served with you? Why then have you deceived me? But Laban said, It is not the practice in our place to marry off the younger before the firstborn. Complete the week of this one and we will give you the other also for the service which you shall serve with me for another seven years.

And Jacob did so and completed her week. And he gave him his daughter Rachel as his wife. Laban also gave his maid Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maid. So Jacob went into Rachel also. And indeed he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he served with Laban for another seven years. As the world turns, general hospital, the bold and the beautiful, call it whatever you want, this is one amazing story. Jacob had turned the corner in his walk with the Lord. And now we come to the meeting. The meeting of the bride-to-be.

And I want you to notice two things about this meeting. Number one, the appointment. And number two, the acquaintance.

First of all, the appointment. What chances are there that Jacob would show up at this well and he would ask these shepherds where they were from and behold, they were from the area to which he was supposed to arrive. And not only were they from the same area, they knew the man he was going to see. What are the chances of that happening? You see, there are no accidents in life. Everything is by divine providence. This was a divine appointment. Not only that, they say, his daughter Rachel is coming.

Accident? Coincidence? Luck? Chance? No. Divine appointment. Divine providence. The sovereign will of God was at work. You see, the first thing you need to understand is that your marriage is by divine appointment.

You didn't just happen to find the one you're married with. We miss that, don't we? We don't necessarily understand that. I like what A.W. Pink says in his commentary on this chapter. There are no chance happenings, no chance meetings, no chance delays, no chance losses, no chance anything in our lives. All is of divine appointment. That's true. Psalm 139.16 tells us that every one of our days have been ordained by God. Do you believe that? Do you believe that your husband or your wife is God's divine gift to you by appointment?

If you don't, then you've just devalued the sovereignty and providence of God. God's in control of everything, not just some things. If God's not in control of everything, He's not God, right? God's in control of everything. So the person you are with this morning, your husband, your wife, you have because of a divine appointment set in eternity past and brought forth during your time of your existence when you marry that individual. We'll talk more about that in a moment. But remember what the prophet Isaiah said in Isaiah 44.

You know the Bible says that God is alpha and omega three times, all in the book of Revelation. He's the beginning and the end, the first and the last, the alpha and the omega.

The prophet Isaiah said this in Isaiah 44, verse number 6. Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel, and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts, I am the first and I am the last.

And there is no God besides me. And who is like me? Let him proclaim and declare it. Yes, let him recount it to me in order. From the time that I established the ancient nation, and let them declare to them the things that are coming and the events that are going to take place. If there's another God, let him declare to you what's going to happen tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. There is nobody who can do that because there's only one God, God says, and I've designed all that.

I've declared the end from the beginning over in Isaiah 46. It says this in verse number 9. Remember the former things long past, for I am God and there is no other. I am God and there is no one like me, declaring the end from the beginning. And from ancient times things which have not been done, saying my purpose will be established and I will accomplish all my good pleasure. Listen, you need to understand this because this is going to take you through the book, the rest of the book of Genesis. It's going to help you understand your life.

The marriage was by divine appointment. God orchestrated the events because God's in charge of everything. Rachel just didn't show up the day that Jacob arrived. It was the right time, the right day, the right year, the right place. It just didn't happen that these shepherds were from Haran and knew who Laban was. They knew him. God had brought it together. That's how good God is. He orchestrates the events of life to bring about his sovereign purposes. The next thing I want you to notice is the acquaintance.

Jacob says to the shepherds, you know, what are you guys doing here? I mean, you guys should water your sheep and go back out to pasture. And they said, no, no, we're not going to do that. We're going to wait till everybody comes and then we're going to remove the stone from the well. Evidently there was a stone covering the well. And he said, we're going to remove the stone. Now how big that well is and how big that stone is, we don't know. But when everybody gets here, we will remove the stone and then everybody will drink.

Now, if you read between the lines, which sometimes we like to do, why didn't the shepherd just water their sheep and be gone? Because Rachel was coming. Rachel was a babe. And they wanted to look at Rachel.

And that's why they didn't water their sheep. That's why they were standing around, sitting around. They wanted to see Rachel. That's why they said to Jacob, hey, guess what? And Rachel's coming. What did Jacob know about Rachel? Nothing. But see, they knew about Rachel. They knew she was coming. They were in no hurry to go back out to pasture. They wanted to see this beautiful woman. Verse 17 tells us, she was beautiful in form and face. This woman was gorgeous. Her sister, for all practical purposes, she was ugly.

What else can I say? To be sore eyes or to be weak eyes is the Bible's nice way of saying that she was a pretty ugly looking woman. But Rachel, on the other hand, she was a queen. She was a princess. And so Jacob asked this question, wanted to know why these guys aren't out to pasture. And they tell him, and sure enough, here comes Rachel. And Jacob sees Rachel coming and sees the sheep. What does Jacob do? He immediately runs over and removes the stone. Why? Because he wants to show Rachel that he's a strong man.

So he goes over. He removes that stone all by himself. And then he waters Laban's sheep. He waters them. And then you come to verse number 11. What does Jacob do? He kisses her. He hasn't said anything to her yet. He kisses the woman. Now, Oriental custom, you kiss on the cheek. But I'm not sure this was a kiss on the cheek. If you read the Jewish rabbis on this, they're not sure it's a kiss on the cheek either because in Oriental custom, when you kiss on the cheek, you don't weep in a loud voice after you do it.

But Jacob did. This man was overcome. This man was smitten by her beauty. She was gorgeous. She was unlike anything he'd ever seen or thought of, anything he'd conjured up in his mind. Oh, man, she was way beyond that. This is Rachel. This is unbelievable. And so what's he do? He kisses her. Whether he kissed her on the hand, he kissed her on the cheek, he kissed her on the lips, I don't know. I know this. No man ever better go kiss my daughter without talking to her first, let alone talking to me first about it.

But that's exactly what he did. But remember, Jacob's 70 years old. Jacob's 70 years old. We don't know how old Rachel is. Jacob's 70. He kisses her. And then he lifted his voice and he wept. Why? Because God was at work. God is so good. This has got to be the one. And so he carries on now a conversation with her and tells her who he is. Listen, I am your father's nephew. Your father and my mother are brother and sister. That makes you and me cousins. In this case, kissing cousins. A little humor there.

Very little. And so what does Rachel do? Rachel doesn't respond. She runs back to her father Laban. There you have the first meeting by appointment and their acquaintance.

Now, the second meeting between Jacob and Laban. This is an amazing story. Why? Because Laban hears the news in verse number 13 and he runs to meet him. And what does Laban do? Laban kisses him. This is one kissing family. He kissed him and brought him into his house. And then Jacob would begin to relate to him, the text says in verse number 13, all these things. What things? Well, we would presume that he shares to him what happened at Bethel. We would assume that he would share with him about his mother.

Because remember, it's been a hundred years since Laban has seen his sister. That's a long time. Talk about a long time between visits. And so Jacob begins to work with him for a month. And after the month is over, Laban realizes this man's a great deal. Man, this guy can do some work. So he says, I want you to stay with me. Ask me anything you want. What do you want to be paid? Wouldn't it be great to be asked that when you go to work tomorrow? What is it you want to be paid? What will your wages be?

We'll give them to you. He says this very pointedly, I want Rachel. I want Rachel. I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter, Rachel. Now, let me tell you something.

She had to be a phenomenal woman for him to commit to seven years of service. Seven years. That's a long time. She had to be a remarkable woman. So thus the arrangement comes into play. Listen very carefully to the arrangement. Verse 19, Laban said, It is better that I give her to you than I should give her to another man. Stay with me. You must note what Laban did not say. Laban didn't say, I'll give you Rachel after seven years. He didn't say that. He just said that he would give Rachel to him as his wife, but didn't say he would do it in seven years.

Did he? Laban was a schemer. Jacob was about to meet his match when it came to scheming. So the arrangement was made. Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. Isn't that great? This is the first real love story in the Bible.

Next comes the marriages. The first marriage between Jacob and Leah. Let's look first of all at the demand.

Verse number 21, Then Jacob said to Laban, Give me my wife, for my time is completed, that I may go into her. It's time to marry. So what did Laban do? He prepares a feast. It's an amazing, amazing scene. And so Laban would do what a good father would do. He would prepare a feast that would last for seven days. Then comes the deception. It says, Now it came about in the evening that he took his daughter Leah, not Rachel, Leah, and brought her to him. And Jacob went in to her. The man who deceived his father was going to be deceived by his father-in-law.

And the man who passed himself off as the firstborn now receives Laban's firstborn. They go into the tent. They have their first night.

They consummate the marriage. He wakes up the next day. Looks over. Holy Toledo! Leah, what are you doing here? Now think about Leah for a minute. What's going through Leah's mind? She was part of the act. She was part of the deception. Where was Rachel? That's a good question. I don't know. What's he going to do? What would you do? He's already consummated the marriage. It's already taken place. The inescapable law of life. Whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap. God in his grace is a forgiving God, but God in his government, listen very carefully, allows us to suffer the consequences of our sins.

Remember, Jacob, as far as we know, has never confessed his sin. Has he? And so, here he is, being deceived by his father-in-law. The third thing I want you to see is the discovery.

The discovery. How did this happen? You're asking the question, what, is Jacob stupid? Does he not know who the woman is? Remember, that the woman was completely veiled. She would be presented later, but at this point, she was completely veiled. So that would mean that Leah would have to wear what Rachel was going to wear. Sound familiar? That Leah would have to smell like Rachel would smell. Sound familiar? Sure. We know that she's sore eyes. We know that she's weak eyes, so we know that she was veiled.

They would go into the tent. It would be completely dark, pitch black, and understand that when they consummated the marriage, it was a very high, sacred time. This was the highest of all ceremonies. There was no talking. It was complete silence. I mean, after all, the man worked for her for seven years. There's nothing to say. Nothing to say. But he has to face the facts. So, he says, what, to Laban, what is this you have done to me? Verse number 25. Was it not Rachel that I served with you? Why then have you deceived me?

But Laban said, it is not the practice in our place to marry off the younger before the firstborn. Ooh, that cuts deep, doesn't it? You see, whether Laban knew about what Jacob had done is not told us in the story. But isn't it interesting that in our culture, where we live, we honor the firstborn first.

Thus, Jacob is reminded of his past. And so, we come to the second marriage between Jacob and Rachel.

Instead, he just made a deal. This is what we're gonna do. You want Rachel? I'll give you Rachel. Complete your week. That is the seven days of the ceremony. Complete the ceremony a week. Don't embarrass me. Don't embarrass yourself. Don't embarrass Leah. Don't embarrass Rachel. Just complete your week. When those seven days are over, I'll give you Rachel. I'll give you Rachel. But you gotta work for me for another seven years. Jacob said, okay, I'll do that. Man, which leads us to the second marriage.

So, what does Jacob do? Jacob loved Rachel, didn't love Leah. And three things I want you to see about the marriage between Jacob and Rachel. First of all, his desire.

The text says in verse number 30, that Jacob went into Rachel also, and indeed, he loved Rachel. He desired this woman. He loved her with all of his heart. He would do anything for Rachel. Anything. That's the kind of marriages we need to have, right? Where the husband would do anything for his wife. Anything. Because he loves her so much. The text also says, more than Leah. Sure he did. Leah was the ignored wife. Leah would become the second-hand wife.

You know, the Bible doesn't go much into the feelings of Leah, but you know, I wonder what must have been going through her mind. Maybe one of the reasons he didn't love Leah was because she would always remind him of his past. You ever think about that? Every time he looked into her face, he would see deception, and the deception would remind him of his deception. But he desired. He desired Rachel. He loved her. Number two, his determination.

Oh, man. Another seven years. You know, shepherding is not an easy, easy occupation. It's a dirty, filthy occupation. But sure enough, for another seven years, he would do that. That's determination, man. That's commitment. And he was determined to do whatever it would take to make sure that Rachel was going to be his wife. And then thirdly, his difficulties.

All his difficulties. Next week, we're going to see some of them, but he has them for the rest of his married life. He'll have all kinds of difficulties. He'll get the right one, but all the while, having the other one with him. The jealousy, the bitterness, the rivalry. It's going to be intense. Jacob's going to have to handle those difficulties. What's the meaning of all this? What do we learn from all this? We saw two meetings. The meeting between Jacob and Rachel, and Jacob and Leah. We saw two marriages.

The marriage between Jacob and Leah, and Jacob and Rachel. I want to give you two meanings. Number one is this.

Your marriage happens by divine appointment. I don't care if you're married in Vegas. I don't care if you're married by the justice of the peace. I don't care if you've been married in a church. If you are married to someone, God has joined you together. You must understand that. In his decreed plan, he has allowed this marriage to happen to bring about a greater purposes. Therefore, you need to accept that gift God has given to you. You need to accept the gift God's given to you. You can kick and scream and holler all you want and fight against it and say, you know what?

I'm married out of the will of the Lord. I shouldn't have done this. I'm married out of disobedience to my parents. I'm married out of disobedience to the word of God. It was wrong. I got to get out of here. Let me tell you something.

If you are married, that is the will of God for you. That person is the will of God. Why? Because you're married to them. And God controls all things. That is God's will for you. Therefore, accept the gift that God has given. Accept it and praise him for it. Now, that's going to be difficult for some of you. That's why a number two point is very important.

Your marriage happens by divine appointment. Your marriage's hope is by divine enablement. Your marriage's hope is by divine enablement. If there is to be any hope at all for your marriage to succeed, it's going to be because of God's involvement in your life. It's the only way it's going to happen. That's why. There's something glaringly absent in Genesis 29 and Genesis 30. And that is Jacob never prays or never calls upon the name of the Lord. That's important. Because you see, in order for your marriage to make it, you need to depend upon the power of Almighty God in your life to bring about the attitudes that you need to have happen to demonstrate God to your family.

Psalm 127.1 says, Unless the Lord builds the house, they who build it labor in vain. Right? And number two, you need to desire your spouse.

Do you desire your spouse? I love what Song of Solomon chapter 7 verse number 10 says, I am my beloved's and his desire is for me. Isn't that good? Listen, if you don't desire your wife, number one, you desire yourself.

And that's pride and arrogance and self-centeredness. Or you desire somebody else's wife. And that's lust and sin. You need to ask God to give you a desire for your wife. Desire for your husband. Well up within me, Lord, a desire for the one you've given to me. To go after them. To love them. You see, we have forgotten what love is, don't we? There has to be, as Jacob had, a determination in your life. A determination to reach out and to love your spouse. Therefore, when I love my spouse, I am giving to my spouse.

I am putting it into action. I am going after my spouse. I am doing for her. I am doing for him. And not expecting them to do for me. Why? 1 Corinthians 13 and 5 says, Love never seeks its own. So if you're going to love your wife, if you're going to love your husband, if you're going to desire them, then you can't seek your own welfare. You must seek the welfare of the object you love. So therefore, I am bound and determined to do what God's called me to do. Because my marriage is about God more than it is about me.

If you glean anything from the text, glean this, your marriage happens by divine appointment. And your marriage's hope is through divine enablement. God and God only can hold you together, keep you together, cause you to desire your spouse, to love them, to reach out to them, to minister to them. Only God can do that. Just yesterday, I was talking to my wife and saying, You know, I am such a blessed man. I am so thankful to God for you as my wife. I praise him for what he's done. But you know, my wife and I, we have no marriage without God.

We don't. We're not able to minister to one another without God. To love one another without God. To serve one another without God. To desire one another without God. It all stems from God. And if there's a conflict in our marriage, it comes because our relationship with God is not right. Why? Marriage's only hope is from God. And when our relationship with the Lord is right, our relationship with one another is right. Please understand that. That's your hope. And God wants you to have a marriage that honors him.

He really does. And I hope that as we study the life of Jacob and Rachel and Leah and Bilhah and Zilpah, those four wives of his, we'll understand God's call upon our lives. So important that we understand God's call. What God is doing. How he's bringing about his purposes. But he keeps saying one thing. You come to me. You fall before me. You worship me. You honor me. You glorify my name. You depend upon me. And guess what? I will allow you to desire your wife, desire your husband. And I'll allow you to be determined in that marriage so you can say to your wife, your husband, you stick with me, babe, and you'll know what glue is.

Because I'm going to stick to you forever. Satan doesn't like that. But God wants that. And God wants to enable you. I trust that you'll let him. Let's pray.