Introduction, Part 1

Many people who are married, even in their own church, whose marriages are held together by band-aids, paper clips, and rubber bands that if stretched too far they're going to snap, if bent too far they will break, and if there's too much tear shed during that marriage those band-aids will begin to peel away and the marriage will flounder. Yet there is hope, as outlined in the Word of God, and we're going to begin by looking at your home. And God's Word offers no quick fixes, but it does offer the solutions to every situation in your home.

No matter how severe you might think it is, or how trivial you might think it is, God's Word has an answer, and I promise we will answer every question that you have. Whatever it is, we're going to answer it, because God's Word answers everything about your home. God's Word answers everything concerning your life. And you will find in the weeks and months ahead that whatever question you have tonight, if not answered tonight, will be answered at some time or another throughout the series. We're going to begin by evaluating the condition of our homes, and then look at the encouragement that comes from the Christ.

We're going to look at your home, and then we're going to look at God's hope, by way of introduction.

And what we're going to cover this week, next week, and probably the week after that is just going to be introductory material to the specifics that we will get into more deeply as time goes on. But just by way of introduction, we're going to look at your home, and then we're going to look at God's hope, as designed in the Scriptures, to begin you on the proper path to finding blessing as outlined in the Word of God.

As we evaluate your home, we're going to cover several things. Here's number one. You've got to realize that your home, and my home, is attacked by the adversary. It's attacked by the adversary, Satan himself. Turn with me in your Bible to Genesis chapter 3.

Very familiar portion of Scripture for those of us who have been studying the book of Genesis, but it's always good to go back and review what took place in Genesis chapter 3. God had created man. Man's name was Adam. Adam experienced no attacks from the adversary while he was single. It wasn't until he was married that the attack from the adversary came. I think that's very important to understand. God has designed marriage as a very unique element of life, and therefore, Satan knows that and what God has designed, Satan wants to destroy, ultimately to demolish.

Whether you know this or not, Satan is your biggest adversary. Your wife is not your biggest adversary, nor is your husband, nor is the dog that continues to wet on the floor, or your children who rebel against your authority. Satan is your biggest adversary, and every home is attacked by him. He attacks constantly. He attacks relentlessly. He never comes up for air, and if by chance you have a good day this week, consider your blessings and count them greatly, because Satan does not want to ease up on your home.

And so he begins by attacking you personally, maybe it's physically, maybe it's spiritually, maybe he'll attack you emotionally, maybe he'll attack your finances, but he will attack your home, and look for that weak link in your life to bring you down, because he doesn't want your family to succeed. Your family is the greatest testimony of the work of Jesus Christ in the world. If your family is going to fail, your testimony to some degree is going to fail. Satan knows that, so he looks to destroy your family, knowing that the people on the outside who are looking for hope won't go to you because you don't offer any hope.

Your family is as bad as theirs is. On the flip side of that, if you are able to demonstrate a God-like family, a family that works through the difficulties, handles the hardships properly, then people on the outside can relate to that and say, how do you do that? How does that happen with you guys, and I can't get it to happen in my home? You begin to explain to them the power of the Word of God. But you notice in Genesis chapter 3, verse number 1, it says this, Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made.

He said to the woman, Indeed, has God said? Indeed, has God said, You shall not eat from any tree of the garden? You will note that that's the first question in the Bible, the first question in the Bible doubts God, questions God.

And Satan is going to do a remarkable thing in your home. He is going to question God's authority in your home. He is going to question you about whether or not you really truly believe that God's Word is the ultimate authority. And you know what? For most of us, we're going to renege on that, and we're going to back away from that. And Satan begins to get a foothold in our life. Notice the response of Eve.

And the woman said to the serpent, From the fruit of the trees of the garden, we may eat. But from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, You shall not eat from it or touch it, lest you die. Now, Eve's response is very critical. Because when she responds, she doesn't respond properly. She responds partially. Let me explain that to you.

She omits something, and she adds something to what God said. Please note this. There are people who will try to help you with your family. And they will always add to the Word of God or take away from the Word of God, thinking that they're going to give you solutions to your family's problems. Notice she says that God said that we may eat of the trees of the garden.

Is that what God said? No. God said that you may eat freely. Freely. She didn't say that. The Bible is very clear that He has given us freely all things to enjoy. Romans chapter 8, verse number 32. But she left that out. And when she left that out, she left room for doubt. And then she added something. God has said, you shall not eat from it or what? Touch it. God never said that. God never said you couldn't touch a tree. God just said you can't eat from the tree. Now we've got a major problem. Because Eve didn't know God's Word clearly.

Here's the point of the entire series. If you don't know God's Word, Satan will get a foothold in your life, and he will bring you down. You must know the Word of God. I have listened to people who have gone to counselors for years. For years. And they tell me all kinds of things the counselor has said. And I'm thinking, where did he get that? How come he said that? Where do you find that in the Bible? And, you know, these counselors, they're really good at keeping you coming back, see, because you've got to write a check to them every month.

And so they keep you coming back for more, for more, for more, you see. If they just told you what God's Word said and said, now it's up to you to obey, they'd be out of business, see. They've got to keep you coming back. Eve, Eve made a major mistake. She omitted what God said and added to what God said. And the Bible is very clear. Book of Proverbs, Book of Deuteronomy, Book of Jeremiah, Book of Revelation, don't add, don't take away from God's truthful Word. Don't do that. Eve had a problem. She didn't understand clearly the Word of God.

At the base of this series, you must know the Word of God, because Satan is going to attack you. And if you don't know the Word of God, you cannot defend yourself. Read Matthew 4, the Tentation of Christ. He answered specifically with the Word of God. And that's how he defeated the Tentation of Satan in his life. Number two, our homes have been manipulated by the media.

Our homes have been manipulated by the media. The Bible says this over in Ephesians Chapter 5, Verse Number 11, And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them, for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.

That which is done in secret in the world is now being exposed on television. Whether it's a Jerry Springer show, whether it's Oprah Winfrey, or whether it's Montel, or whether it's HBO, or whether it is some soap opera, whether it is People's Court, or whether it's some prime time television show, that which was once done in secret has now been exposed for all to see. And believe it or not, as much time as we spend watching television, it has manipulated our mind into believing what is there. Let me give you an illustration.

Some of you are here tonight. Some of you will not come back. Next week, or the following week. Because you really truly believe that if you came, at least for one hour, you would get the solution to your married problems, and thus leave knowing what to do. I mean, after all, it's in that 30-minute time span of a sitcom that all the problems of the world are solved. Or that hour show, or that maybe a two-hour movie, and if at best a two-parter, once on Sunday night and once on Tuesday or Thursday night.

It's all solved. It all comes out okay. But to be in church every Wednesday night, week after week after week after week after week, working through the principles, that's too difficult. I don't have time for that. But the truth of the matter is, we've been manipulated by the media into thinking that there's a quick fix to my marriage, that it can be solved in just a moment of time. That if I just, you know, dot my I's correctly, and cross my T's correctly, and do everything right, everything's gonna be okay.

Let me tell you something. Your marriage is a work in progress. And if you're not willing to work at it day after day after day after day, your family is a building project that needs to spend, you need to spend time building each and every foundation, and then building on top of that foundation, that if you don't take the time to do it, it's gonna crumble. Does it happen in a week? Does it happen in a year? Things can begin to turn around in a year, a couple of months maybe, but not overnight. I wish it was that easy.

I really do. But it's not. And one of the reasons it's not that easy is because God is saying, I want you to trust me. I want you to believe me. Do you really believe me? Will you stick with me? Will you be committed to me? God says, I want you committed to me.

He says, I don't want you committed to your spouse. I want you committed to me. There's a difference there. You see, if you're committed to your spouse and not committed to God, your commitment on your spouse will waver to no commitment. If you're committed to God, you will be committed to your spouse. You see that? And it will stay strong. But it all begins with my commitment to God. And my willingness to abide and believe what he says. Our lives have been manipulated by the media. Number three, our lives have been controlled by culture.

If our lives are manipulated by the media, they inevitably will be controlled by the culture. And we got to be careful about that. We are now meeting society standards instead of meeting scriptural standards. Society has now become the epitome of our decision making. It has been that society, that culture that we live in that determines what is right and what is wrong, what is acceptable and what is not. And as culture changes, we tend to think that we too need to change with the culture. Realizing that Jesus Christ never ever once changes with the culture.

Why? Because this character is from everlasting to everlasting. And his character never changes. And his character goes counter to what culture presents. Because culture is emphasizing that which is negative, and that which is false, and that which is not true. And yet the Bible says very clearly in 1 John chapter 2, words that we are very familiar with.

Do not love the world, nor the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life is not from the Father, but is from the world. And the world is passing away, and also its lust. But the one who does the will of God abides forever. How has culture controlled our homes? Culture has begun to control our family values, hasn't it? Only 23.5% of U.S. households are traditional families in America today.

That is, married couples with their children. According to the Census Bureau, between 1990 and 2000, the number of cohabitating couples increased by 72%. They now make up 5.5% of the total population. In the same period, single father households were up 62%, and single mother homes, 25%. But culture has begun to control our way of thinking. Somehow now we need to live together before we are ever married to see if things will work out. And more and more couples now cohabitate, thinking that they'll learn one another and decide whether or not marriage is something for them.

The problem with that is, is that 65% of those who cohabitate, divorce once they're married. Number four, our family's being attacked by the adversary, our family's being manipulated by the media, our family's being controlled by culture, they're also being crushed by conflict. Crushed by conflict, specifically unresolved conflict. That's important. They build up over a period of time, and before you know it, the marriage and the home are wrecked. Listen to the book of Proverbs, the 18th chapter, the 19th verse.

It says this, a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle. The Bible says that arguments build barriers if unresolved.

And most of us live in a state of unresolved conflict. And as these bars begin to be built in our homes, they become those things of separation in the home. But is it not true that our homes are crushed? Homes are being torn apart, being broken up, because we're beating on one another, we're yelling at one another, we're screaming at one another, we're kicking one another, we're throwing things at one another, and our homes are falling apart. The Bible says, you know, if you just abandon a couple of those quarrels, you'll save a few pieces of China.

You know? I don't want to spend so much money on, you know, buying new dishes. But one more I want to give you before we close tonight, and Joan was right, I wasn't going to finish my outline. Homes are divided by divorce. They're divided by divorce. About one out of every four adults in the nation has experienced at least one divorce. Among those adults who divorce and remarry, the probability of going through another divorce is even higher. In excess of 60% of all divorced adults who marry will divorce.

Again. Hollywood and Madison Avenue have played an important part in defending and celebrating divorce. When Joan London got divorced, People Magazine celebrated her new life as a single mother and as her own woman. They focused on her shopping spree at Bloomingdale's. The average young woman who is victimized in a divorce doesn't celebrate by buying seven television sets. She celebrates by going home and crying her eyes out because she sees what is going on in her family. We have glorified the pain of the dissolution of the family.

Isn't that true? Sure we have. I mean, you read about the celebrity stars getting married one month and divorcing the next month. And that begins to to control our way of thinking. And our homes are being divided by divorce. Do you know why people divorce? God does give us that answer. You won't like it, but let me give it to you.

I'm going to read it to you. Here it is. This is what the Lord God said. So Pharisees came to him, testing him and saying, it's unlawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all. And he answered and said, have you not read? By the way, there we go again. It's back to the same old thing. Don't you know what the Bible says about this?

Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, for this cause, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Consequently, they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. They said to him, why then didn't Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away? And he said to them, here's your answer. Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives.

But from the beginning, it was, or it has not been this way. I'll stop right there. Because of the hardness of your heart. Now listen very carefully to what I'm going to say. The Bible helps us understand what takes place in a divided home when divorce happens. There are a lot of people divorced in our church. A lot of them. It doesn't mean they're living in sin. It doesn't mean they're sinners because they got divorced. Sometimes we like to label people as, oh, you're divorced. Oh, you're a sinner.

That's not true. We're all sinners. Just because someone's divorced doesn't make him any worse sinner than you are who happens to go home and beat your wife and no one sees you do it. See? Who would like to divorce you, but she's afraid of you. But the bottom line is, is that God says, you know why Moses permitted that?

It was because of the hardness of your heart. That's why. The main reason for divorce in the community of Israel was because people had become very cold to the things of God. Now, we think we know what's best. That's our autonomy. That's our independence. That's our pride. But no matter what the Word of God says, we can still do what we want.

We can ruin our families. We can hurt our children. We can neglect our responsibilities all in the name of meeting our own what? Needs. It all comes down to that, right? It's what's best for me. It's all about me anyway. So we think. But marriage is not built on having our needs met. Marriage is built on a commitment and a vow spoken before God. But I want you to notice something very specific.

Because while we're speaking about homes that are divided by divorce, this will become a very paramount issue throughout our whole study. About the hardened heart. A heart that's unwilling to submit to what God's Word says. Listen, if at any time God says, this is what you need to do.

And you say, I'm not going to do that. You begin the hardening process. And if you don't repent from that and you hear it again, and you say, no, I'm not going to do that either. You begin to harden the heart again. And God warns against that. So whenever you hear God's Word say something and you kind of get it in your heart, in your life. We all have those times. It kind of hits you right here and you're like, I'm not sure I like that. Then the worst thing you can do is say, I'm not going to do that.

Because that begins to layer over the heart a surface that's calloused. And it begins to build. Listen to what the Lord God said in Proverbs 28, verse number 13. He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses them and forsakes them shall find compassion. Verse 14, how blessed is a man who fears always, but he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity. He who hardens his heart to God is going to fall into calamity. That's why the Bible says in Jeremiah 23, 29, is not my word like fire, declares the Lord, and like a hammer which shatters a rock.

God's word is like a hammer, like fire, consumes, it shatters a rock. It breaks down the hard heart. And that's why we preach the word and teach the word and exhort you in the word because you need to know what the word of God says.

We don't want you to have a hardened heart. We don't want you to become numb and dull of hearing to the word of God. We want you to have an open, receptive heart to the word of God. That says, yes, Lord, this is what I will do because you have said so. Don't let there be an evil heart of unbelief running up inside you. Listen to what God's word says about your home. Listen to what God says about your family and the hope he has designed for you because there is hope.

And the hope is God himself as he gives you his word to show you exactly what you need to do to honor him first.

And then he says, watch and see what happens.