Honoring Mom and Dad

Exodus chapter 20, verse number 12. Text says, honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. Honoring your mother and your father. An incredible commandment that God has given to us. And what God did in Exodus chapter 20 is established for all time the primacy of parenthood. when he commanded children to obey and honor their mothers and fathers. It's the Fifth Commandment. It follows the first four.

And the fifth one, after dealing with our lives and our relationship to God, the Lord tells us that the first relationship that is going to be affected as a result of our relationship with God is our relationship with our family.

In other words, if you are not honoring your mother and your father, it's because something is wrong in your relationship with God. If you're right with God, you will be right with mom and dad. If you're not right with God, then it's going to affect your relationship with mom and dad. And also notice that this is the only commandment with a direct promise.

Honor your mother and father, that your days may be prolonged in the land, which the Lord your God gives you. The Bible defines and describes the family unit, and the top priority of the family is to love God and to love one another. And the Ten Commandments were given primarily not to a school, not to government, not to business. The Ten Commandments were given to the family. Therefore, it's within the confines of the family that the Ten Commandments need to be emphasized. So the Ten Commandments aren't posted in your school or not posted in your workplace, not displayed, and they're being dishonored.

Don't worry about that. Just make sure that they are displayed and they are honoring your family. For if your family becomes strong, the nation itself will become strong because the life of the nation, is seen in the life of its families. And so tonight I want to cover just three points with you, and then it's number one, children learning to honor their parents.

What does it mean? And then look at the parents, parents who long to be honored, those who are worthy of honor, what are some of the characteristics that describe them, and then we'll look at the family and see what happens when the first two principles are followed.

follow. So first of all, point number one, children learning to honor their parents. We will look at the mandate of what it means to honor your parents, its meaning, its motive, and lastly, it's model.

First of all, the mandate, Exodus chapter 20, verse number 12, we've already read it. It's reiterated in Deuteronomy 5, verse 16, but turn with me over to Ephesians chapter 6.

Paul says this, children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Over in Colossus chapter 3, it's repeated, verse number 20. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. This is a mandate in Scripture. God wants us to understand that we are to honor our parents, honor your mother and father, which leads us to our second point, the meaning of what it means to honor mom and dad.

It's a word that comes from the verb meaning to be heavy. So you actually give weight, so to speak, to the person who is honored. And I want to describe to you what it means to give honor to someone. It will help us understand what we as children are to do to our parents, no matter what our age. So when you honor someone, you give them an exalted position. Now, you stay with me for a minute because this becomes very important in order for us to understand what God has called us to do. If you're going to honor your parents, you're going to speak well of your parents.

I don't know how many times I've heard young people speak ill of their parents. Sometimes they're a joking manner, but you've got to be careful about that. Over in Proverbs chapter 20, verse number 20, it says this, He who curses his father or his mother, his lamp will go out in time of darkness. That means he's going to die. Cross references Exodus 21, verse number 17. He'll be put to death. You're not to curse your father and mother. You are to speak well of your mother and father. Why? Because they are valued.

You honor them. They have an exalted position. The Bible speaks very harshly against children who curse their parents, who speak against their parents. That is an abomination to God. And whether your parents are saved or unsaved, whether they did things you liked or didn't like, the Bible says you are to honor your parents.

It doesn't say honor them under certain circumstances or in certain situations. You are to honor them at all times. You are to value them because God has given them to you. So you are to speak well of your parents. Another thing that means is that you should never put them down or treat them lightly or treat lightly what they say to you. How many times do we just kind of brush off with my? what mom and dad has said. Ah, he's just bowing off over there. What's he got to say? He's just talking to hear his head rattle.

Who cares? Let's move on. But you shouldn't do that. You should respect your mom and dad. Proverbs chapter 15, verse number 20. I know I'm giving you lots of verses tonight, but I just want to tell you what the Bible says about respecting your parents.

Parvors 15, verse number 20. A wise son makes the father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother. A wise son makes his father glad, but a foolish son, one who despises his mother, one who does not care about what his mother says. Over in Proverbs 17, verse number 25 says this, A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him. A foolish son is that way, someone who doesn't respond to the wisdom of mother and father. and the instructions that mum and dad give them. Jesus says rightly did Isaiah prophesy if you hypocrite says it is written.

Verse number six. Thank you. Verse number six. This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. But in vain do they worship me teaching as doctrines the precepts of men? Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men. He was also saying to them, you nice, he set aside the commandments of God in order to keep your tradition. From Moses said, honor your father and your mother, and he who speaks evil of father or mother, let him be put to death. But you say, if a man says to his father or his mother, anything of mine, you might have been helped by his Corbin, that is to say, given to God, you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother.

Thus, invalidating the word of God by your tradition, which you have handed down, and you do, many things such as that. Here you are setting aside, you're treating as God's word as if it means nothing by saying, look, mom and dad, I really want to help you out financially. I know you're really struggling, but I've given all my money to God. And because I've given it to God, I can't give it to you. Well, that's a biblical contradiction, because we are to take care of the needs of other people, especially those of our parents.

And Jesus, Jesus, says, look, if your parents need financial assistance, your job is to make sure that you honor them. And one of the ways we saw earlier that you honor people is through material gifts. And that's how you would honor your parents. After all, they bought you diapers, they bought you food, they bought you clothes, they bought you shoes for all those years. They put you through school, they put you through college, they help you buy your first house.

and now you're not going to help them financially when they need you? God said, you can't do that. You are invalidating the word of God. You are dishonoring God's word. You need to obey the Fifth Commandments. One of the bad things about our society is that we look down upon the older generation. We treat them as if they don't exist. And they don't mean much, that their opinions are not valued anymore. My friends, their opinions are valued. They should be valued. And as children, we should look to our parents for advice and counsel and even receive rebuke from them in a humble manner, even though we might not even agree with it.

There are times in which my father has rebuked me in my age, which is not very old, but he's rebuked me for things that I have done, and I've tried to listen to his instruction. That doesn't mean I always do what he says, but I do listen and respect the instruction that he gives. And why? Well, that leads us to our third point, the motive.

X is 20. First number 12 says that your days may be long upon the land. Deuteronry 516 says that your days may be long and that it may be well with you. Ephesians 6 3 says that it may be well with you and you may live long. Why do we do this? Well, God said so, number one.

Number two is because I want to live a long time. And while I'm living, I want there to be a quality about my life. If you don't do that, the opposite is true. Ken Hughes in his commentary says this, there are always exceptions, but the general rule is that unruly children who have rejected natural affection will lead shortened lives. The grace-impeding spiral of disobedience is easy to trace. Spiritually, disobedience to parents may unwittingly slay the desire to obey God, our Father in heaven. Spiritual rebellion may then produce psychological aberrations, complexes, phobias, compulsive desires.

This, in turn, can have devastating effects on one's social habits and friendships. Finally, physical trauma often results from rebellion, bad habits, drugs, violence, and evil.

elicit desires. Over in Proverbs chapter 4, verse number 10, listen to what Solomon said. Proverbs 4, verse number 10, hear my son and accept my sayings, and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of wisdom. I have led you in upright paths. When you walk, your steps will not be impeded, and if you run, You will not stumble. Take hold of instruction. Do not let go. Guard her, for she is your life. Every child ought to have that embedded on his forehead. Instruction is your life.

Heed my words. It will cause you not to stumble, Solomon said. It will keep you on the straight and narrow. Over in Proverbs chapter 6, verse number 20, it says this, My son, observe the commandment of your father, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother, bind them continually on your heart, tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you. When you sleep, they will watch over you, and when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light, and reproofs for discipline are the way of life.

God's word is very clear. The simple instruction for children as they grow through the years of their lives is very simple. Honor your mother and your father. And if you do, God says you will live long, and your life will be that of a quality that you will never experience outside of obedience.

And there's a model that's over in Luke chapter 2. We've tried to look at the mandate to honor your mother and father.

What does it mean to honor your mother and father? Why do we do that? And there's a model over in Luke chapter 2. It's the Lord Jesus Christ. You know the story? Mom and dad left Jesus in Jerusalem. They didn't do that on purpose, by the way. It was an accident. In Luke chapter 2, they came back and they found Jesus teaching in the temple. It says in verse number 49 or 48. and when they saw him they were astonished. And his mother said to him, son, why have you treated us this way? Behold, your father and I have been anxiously looking for you.

Mary rebuked Jesus. And yet she needed to be reminded as to whose child Jesus was. And so he says in verse number 49, why is it that you were looking for me? Did you not know that I had to be? in my father's house the very first recorded words of our Lord at the age of around 12 or 13 is that look I got to be about my father's business I've got to be in my father's house and they did not understand the statement which he had made to them and he went down with them and came to Nazareth and he continued what in subjection to them and his mother treasured all these things in our heart.

Jesus continued in subjection to his parents, and he was the God of the universe. If Jesus Christ at that age was in subjection to his parents, how much more so do we need to be in subjection to our parents growing up and learning to honor them? He is the model. Now if you're here tonight and you're a parent, this second point is for you.

As parents, your job is to do all you can to make sure that you are worthy of honor. Children are to honor you no matter what. But it sure does make it a lot easier on them if you are an honorable person. It's like going into all the world and preaching the gospel. God says you've got to do it, right?

But if you love the Lord of God with all your heart, soul, and mind, it sure is a lot of easier sharing your faith, right? Same thing goes here. And so I just want to give you four principles. One is love your children. And we need to understand that our affection with our children plays a major role in their emotional stability. It was Charles Windall in his book, Father, masculine model of leadership. says this. Many a young women who opt for immoral sexual relationships do so because they can scarcely remember a time when their father so much has touched them.

Unaffectionate dads without wishing to do so can trigger a daughter's promiscuity, end quote. That's a powerful statement. Are you affectionate with your children? Do you hug your children? Do you hug them affectionately, tenderly, physically, playfully? Do you listen to your children when they speak? It's so easy to be distracted, isn't it? The game is on, you've had a tough day, you've listened to them all day, and they just want to show you a picture. They just want to say something. something to you.

And we need to be able to give them our attention. Do you pray with and for your children? Do they hear you pray with them? That's a way in which you show them that you love them. Do you carry them to the throne of grace so they can hear your prayers? And some of you will probably say, well, of course we love our children. Do you show your children that you love them? That's important. Number two, you need to lift your children, to raise them up.

You need to build them through encouragement. Glossus 321 says, Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. You don't want to discourage your children. You want to make them courageous. You want to build courage into them. We as parents need to lift our children with our words. And thirdly, if you're going to be a parent of honor, you need to limit your children.

Now, I'll probably receive a lot of flack because of this, but needless to say, you need to put the reins on your kids' activities and behaviors. Growing up, we had certain rules in my house, certain things I could not do. And some of them made me absolutely furious. One is that I can never play baseball on Sunday. I was absolutely furious at that one. It cost me the opportunity to make the All-Star team one year when I was 18 years old because my parents would not allow me to play on Sundays and all their games were on Sundays for the All-Star games that he traveled around the East Coast.

Another rule my parents says that I could never go to a dance. Never. Homecoming? Nata. Prom? Zilch. never had that opportunity going up in my house there were certain rules you didn't break there are certain things you could not do they put the limits on where I could go I had a curfew 11 p.m. On the weekends my parents say if you're out past 11 you're probably doing something you shouldn't be doing so you're going to be home at 11 o'clock could have disobeyed my parents, I could have done whatever I wanted to do, and lied and made up excuses.

But I honored my mom and dad. I did not break curfew. I did not go to dances, and I did not play baseball on Sunday. And you can say, well, that's just your personality type. That's hogwash. Folks, you've got to limit your kids. You've got to have rules in your house. You can't loose your kids and let them go. Well, they're 50,000. You're 50. You're 50. You're 15 years old now.

They've got to make their own decisions. There was no missionary dating in my house. You don't date the unbeliever. You only date the believer. There's no missionary dating that is taking an unbeliever out and witnessing to them. You don't do those kind of things. So I wasn't unable to do that. So I had to find time to witness to the girl without taking her out on a date. But my parents were very protective. Every date is a potential mate. You'd get yourself locked in a situation where she comes to Christ because she wants to please you.

It's not a true conversion. And you find yourself getting married to an unbeliever, thinking she's a believer. And so my parents put all these limits on me. And I'm a firm believer that you've got to limit your kids. As long as they live under your roof, there's a yes and a no. There's a place you can go, a place you can't go. If at any time you don't want to do that, there's the door. make your own decision. But unless you limit your kids, it will cost you. It cost Eli greatly. If he would have limited Hoffany and Phineas, if he would have put the reins on them and said, hey, guys, there ain't no sex on the temple stairs.

You don't do those kind of things. My boys don't do that, but because he did not rebuke his boys, because he did not put the rain on his boys, they were killed. God killed them. Eli suffered greatly. God put the reins on Avenue. You can do this, you can go here, you can have this, but you cannot eat of this tree. He limited them. And when they went outside the bounds that God set, well, you know what happens. Sin passed down to all men because one man broke the boundaries. He went outside the demands of God.

don't be afraid to say that MTV is out of bounds or HBO hell's box office that dad too is out of bounds say no we're not doing that in this house if you love your children you will limit your children if you don't love them just let them do whatever they want go right ahead but you will pay the consequences sooner or later the biblical principle stands clear And lastly, you'll lead your children. That is, you're going to show them right for wrong. Paul says the things that you've seen and heard in me, you do.

And we as parents have got to be able to say that. We want them to do what we say, but we've got to live it before them. Boy, it's tough. Because, man, we're always falling on our faces. But when you fall on your face, what do you do? You go and ask for forgiveness. And so you model to your children biblical responses to imperfection. and that's what changes their lives. You're never going to be able to model perfection to them because we're sinners. But when you blow it and you go to them and say, you know what, I was wrong, please forgive me.

Those words are so powerful that your kids begin to say, see your humility, they begin to see your desire to make wrong right, and they learn how to do that themselves. How many kids today never say I'm wrong? How many kids never say, I was wrong, please forgive me because they never saw their parents do it. But if we lead the way in that area, then they can begin to learn what it means to humble themselves and repent of their sins before those that they have wronged and hurts. If you love your children, if you seek to lift your children up with your words, if you limit your children and you lead your children, and your children see what it means to honor their mother and father by giving them value, respecting them, honoring them.

Certain things are going to happen in your family, and I close with these. There's four of them. One is emotional stability. Deuteronomy 516 says, honor your mother and father that it may go well with you. Emotional stability is related to a parent's relationship to their child and the child's relationship to their parents. Number two, educational sharpness.

The family is a place where true biblical education takes place. And thirdly, it's what I call environmental security.

Proverbs 1633, listen to this. He who listens to me shall live. securely and shall be at ease from the dread of evil. Isn't that good? God says, if you listen to me, you're going to live securely and you shall be at ease from the dread of evil.

There is environmental security. And lastly, effectual survival. We read it our first night together many weeks ago.

in Deuteronomy chapter 6, verse number 24. So the Lord commanded us to observe all these statues to fear the Lord our God for our good always and for our survival as it is today. Thank you.