God's Priorities for Parents, Part 3

If you've been with us, we've been studying God's hope for your home, specifically dealing with the topic priority for parents, God's priority for parents. We began by looking at the first point, which was to demonstrate to your child the character and the compassion of Christ.

The second point was to dedicate your child to the master for the ministry. I trust that that's happening in your family. Only you can judge that. No one else really can. In fact, a good way to measure that is to sit down with your children and begin to talk to them about how, they see you demonstrating Christ to them. In fact, it would be good for you to sit down with your children and say, you know what? Tell me, how have I demonstrated Christ to you this past week? Have you seen Christ at work in my life?

Have you seen his attitude portrayed in my life and in your mother's life? That's always a good thing to ask your children. The third point that we discussed and just began last week was that we need not only to demonstrate to our child the character and compassion of Christ and dedicate our child to the master for the ministry, but we need to also discipline.

our children. We need to discipline our children. And last week we began by looking at the fact that as we discipline our children, Ephesion 6.4 says that we have to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, or in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That we're disciplined has used 11 times in Hebrew chapter 12 to talk about God's relationship with us, his children, on how he disciplines us. And so we realize that from God's point of view, his responsibility to us is to chasten us, is to discipline us, is to scourge us, that we might be the sons, the daughters that he wants us to be.

Well, Paul turns right around in Epheson, 6'4, and says, we as parents are now to discipline our children, or to nurture our children. It's the word that means to train for development, and that's part of the process that we do as parents, and that is the process of discipline. And we talked about the very first point that we need to remember the purpose and discipline.

So many times we forget that. And believe it or not, when we discipline our children, we are teaching them about God. We are teaching them about his responsibility to discipline us because that's what he does. And he wants to do that because he wants to train us. He wants to develop us. And our children grow up realizing that God in heaven is concerned about their spiritual welfare, that the God in heaven is concerned about the direction of his children. And they realize that as parents discipline them, and we tell our children, we are more concerned about your spiritual development, your spiritual character than anything else.

Because we want you to walk with God. We want you to understand God. And our God is a God who disciplines his children. In fact, the Bible says that Hebrews 12 that if we are not being disciplined by God, we are illegitimate children, Meaning that we are not true children of God.

We are children of the devil, because true children of God are disciplined by God, because he is more concerned about their welfare than they will ever realize. The second aspect you need to understand in terms of discipline is this.

Not only when you discipline your child, you remember the purpose of discipline, but you are to rely on God's word. There's a familiar verse in the book of Proverbs. We hear it quoted. all the time. It's Proverbs chapter 29 verse number 18. It reads as follows. It says this, where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, but happy is he who keeps the law. We hear about that verse usually in leadership seminars, about people who want to become leaders in that without a vision, the people are unrestrained or the people perish.

The word for vision is the word revelation. That's so important. The text literally says that without revelation, without the revelation of God, the people are unrestrained. So you realize that in your parenting, you rely upon God's word. Why? Because without the revelation of God, your children are unrestrained. That is, your children go all kinds of directions. So we need to rely upon the word of God as we enact, discipline upon our children, because they need to see the reality of God's word being played out in your life, as well as in their life.

For without a complete revelation of the word of God, they become unrestrained. Yet the Bible also says that happy is he who keeps the law. The man who keeps the law of God, the man who abides by the law of God, is the blessed man, is the happy man. And that's the kind of people we need to be, we want to be. And so therefore, we need to realize that the revelation of God teaches us what we need to do to restrain our children so they don't live unrestrained lives. They don't live lives that go all over the place, but they live lives in decency and in order.

And the Word of God tells us, so we as parents need to rely upon the Word of God. You see, we keep going back to this point. The essence of your parenting is not how many books you read. on parenting. The issue in your parenting is how well you know God. In fact, everything in your life centers around that. It's all about knowing God. It's all about pursuing God. It's all about the character of God. It's all about living for God. Because you see, the greatest parent is a godly parent, right? The greatest parent is the one who walks and talks with God, who lives for God, who has a passion for God, to honor God and all that he says and all that she does.

And that's the kind of parents our children need to have. They need those kind of parents. They might not want those kind of parents because those parents won't let them live in sin, but they need those kind of parents. And they learn to respect those kind of parents because their parents stand for right and wrong because of the revelation of God's word. And so as parents, our job is to rely upon the word of God. Because for the most part, we don't know what to do. We don't know what to say. And that's where the book of Proverbs comes into play.

If you're a parent, you should memorize the Book of Proverbs. You should know every chapter and every verse in the book of Proverbs. Because Proverbs was written from a father to a son about how that son will receive wisdom and instruction and knowledge and understanding of God. And that's what we should want for our children. If you want to know what to teach your children, how to teach your children, how to discipline your children, the book of Proverbs tells you. It tells you how to deal with your children.

So master the book of Proverbs. Understand it. Rely upon God's word to give you the answers. Don't rely upon your radio psychologist or your TV sociologist or your TV preachers. rely upon the Word of God. Understand what the Word of God says.

And ask God for wisdom to implement the Word of God in your family. God's Word needs to be the central aspect of your family. So important. And once it is that everybody knows the guidelines, because everybody has the same guidelines. Everybody knows the directions because everybody has the same directions. Because we're all reading from the same manual, the Word of God. And therefore, everybody knows their marching orders, what they should be doing. Number three, realize the results if you don't discipline.

Realize the results if you don't discipline. It is so important to discipline your children that if you don't discipline them, listen to what the Bible says is going to happen.

Over in Proverbs 13, verse number 24, it says this, He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him, disciplines him diligently. He who spares the rod hates his son. Doesn't say he who spares the rod is a great parent. doesn't say he who spares the rod is a loving parent no it says he who spares the rod is an unloving parent why because the model of course is our Lord Jesus Christ Hebrews chapter 12 and because he disciplines us then we understand his love for us our children understand our love for them not because we buy them of gadgets and toys.

Not because we buy them a car on the 16th birthday. Not because we give them a credit card on the 17th birthday so they can go out and spend what they want to spend it on. Not because we give them more freedom. No, our children know that we love them when we care enough to discipline them when they are out of line. And what is the factor that governs them being out of line? God's word, right? So whenever they step outside the bounds of God's word to violate the written word of God, then they realize that's where discipline comes in.

And because we love them, we will enact that discipline upon their life because we want them to follow God. It's not so much about following us. It's not so much about doing what we say. It's doing what God says.

That's the bottom line, right? We want our children to understand we do what God says. So when we discipline our children, we tell them what the Bible says about our discipline.

So they understand that what we're doing, we're doing because God said so, not because we're angry, or not because we feel like spanking them, or not because we feel like disciplining them, but because we believe in the authority of God's word in our life. And then they begin to understand the character of God, and then they begin to understand how important God's word is in their life when it comes to their time to become parents. So important. The next point. Point number four. need to recognize the importance of discipline.

Need to recognize the importance of discipline. Proverbs chapter 10 says it very clearly, verse number 13, these words. On the lips of the discerning wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding. The one who lacks understanding deserves the rod. The Bible says over in chapter 19, verse number 29, these words, judgments are prepared for scoffers and blows for the back of fools.

Now, when the Bible speaks of the back of the fools, it speaks of the middle of the back. And the middle of your back is your buttocks or your behind. That's God's ordained spot for the rod to make contact. That's why God gives you all that padding back there. Because he wants to make sure that you're not damaged, that nothing's broken, that nothing gets out of whack. So when mom and dad give you the spanking on your bottom, then you know exactly that God has designed that place for the spanking to occur.

Okay? And that is the middle of the back. And the Bible says that if we spare the rod on the back, if we take away the disciplinary act upon our children, We will spoil the children.

The Bible goes on to say in Proverbs 26, these words, verse number three, a whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools.

Okay? Horses need the whip. Why? Because horses need to be kept in line. The donkey needs to be bridle. And the child needs the rod. The foolish one needs the rod because the rod. is that which drives foolishness out of the child. The Bible speaks of the rod because the Bible doesn't want you to use your hand. It's so simple for us just to pick up our hand and smack our child. But the reason we don't do that is because we want our hand to be used as an instrument of tenderness and kindness and love and compassion.

That's why the Bible says use the rod, use the flexible instrument. Why? Because the flexible instrument is used to discipline your child. So your child associates discipline with a rod and not with your hand. Your hand should be that which caresses and loves and cares for the child after the rod has been applied. And so that's how the hand is supposed to be used. So the Bible is very clear and very specific so that they understand that there is a separation between the rod and the hand. For the hand is used for affection, for kindness, for gentleness, for gentleness, where the rod is specifically designed for reproof.

And when we look and understand that our children need this, we recognize the importance of it. It's for the fool. And the Bible says, listen, this is important.

Why? Because God said so. God said so. You know, if you've been watching the news, you know that there's been a report that came out just last week, that spanking children is harmful to them. I laugh every time they get these PhDs on TV and they interview them because all they do is just spell out their ignorance as they begin to wax eloquently about things they know nothing about but they think they do and the bottom line is is that the Bible says the results of spanking your child are positive are good they drive foolishness out of the child they believe anxiety in the life of the child parent.

They bring comfort to the family. And yet, psychologists would tell you, no, if you spank your child, they'll become more aggressive, which is false. That's not true, because God said so. They'll become angry. No, that's not true because God said so. But see, they don't want to believe what God says.

They want to take all these studies of parents who usually abuse their children and don't apply discipline properly or bivocally and say, well, this is what happens if you spank your child. So, therefore, don't snake your child. Who cares what God says?

We do. We care what God says. We want to do what God says, right? And so we recognize the importance that God says, look, this is of value to me because your children need to understand my word and my ways.

Next point. Point number five. When you discipline your children, you need to react, react without provost. invoking your children. React without provoking your children. Ephesians 6.4 speaks about not provoking your child to wrath. Colossians 3, verse number 21, speaks about not exasperating your child, lest he lose his heart. Sometimes if we provoke our child, if we do things that we talked about in our very first night together, what it means to provoke your child that if we're not careful, that child will become angry.

toward us or become very discouraged about us. And so we need to not exasperate our child. And I'm going to go back over the points we covered in our very first lesson, but you can always get the tape on that, about different ways that we can exasperate a child, or provoke our child to anger, or provoke them to discouragement.

We don't want to do that. We never want to spank our children when we're angry. But that's a hard thing, isn't it? Our child does something. They disobey us, and boy, that, that gets us on the wrong way. Get up to your room right now because I'm going to teach you a lesson right now.

We march right up after them and we apply the rod upon them. And next thing you know, we're provoking our children to wrath because we're not disciplining them out of love and concern for their well-being. We're disciplining them because we are angry that they disobeyed us. You see, the issue in your discipline is always the fact that they violated the law of God. If you can keep that in mind, their violation of the law of God versus their disobedience to you, that what you have is the route to handling disciplinary issues in a biblical manner.

You have violated the law of God. This is how you violated God's law. And therefore, because you violated God's law in this manner, God's law says that as your father, as your mother, this is my responsibility to do this. Therefore, we will do this. and you will suffer the consequences because of it. Do you understand? Of course they understand. And then you apply the instrument of discipline upon their lives. And then you tell them, it's not because I hate you, it's because I love you that I do this.

My dad used to always tell me that. I never believed them when he said it. Bye, Dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You love doing this, Dad. And my dad used to really give me the what for man when I was growing up And I realized that as I grew up my father really did love me Because he wanted me to walk with God More than anything else I learned that And I want my children to learn that And I wish I could stand before you and say I've never provoked my children to anger I want to say that I've always disciplined in the biblical proper manner I haven't I wish I could say I have but I have haven't.

Just ask my kids. They'll tell you. I'm not perfect. But I know that my response, what my responsibility is, and I want to move in that direction to honor and glorify the Lord. And lastly, always when you discipline, respond with love and affection and acceptance. Hebrews 12, let me look at it again with you just for a moment.

Hebrews chapter 12, verse number five says, have you have forgotten the excitation which is addressed to you as sons my son do not regard lightly the discipline of the lord nor faint when you are reproved by him for those whom the lord loves he disciplines and he scourges every son whom he receives it is for discipline that you endure god deals with you as with sons for what son is there whom his father does not discipline. But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers in your illegitimate children and not sons, we need to discipline them with love and acceptance.

Last point. Four main principles. Four main priorities of parents. Number one, demonstrate to your child, the character and compassion of Christ.

Number two, dedicate your child to the master for the ministry. Number three, discipline your child. And number four, develop your child. Develop your child. The Bible says, Ephesus 6'4, that we are to bring our children up in the nurture, in the discipline, and in the instruction of the Lord.

We told you before. It's rod and reproof. The two go hand in hand. But our job as parents is to develop our children, is to teach them what God's word says. And every great parent is concerned about their child learning the ways of God. We are to bring them up in the nurture and admonition or instruction of the Lord. It's the verbal instruction with the view to correct them. God is going to hold you as a parent responsible and accountable to how you have taught your children the word of God. That's your job.

that's your responsibility. So the very first principle, you teach them correctly. You teach them the Word of God. You develop your children the right way. How do you develop your children? You teach them of what God says about sex.

Don't let primetime television teach them. You teach your children what the Bible says about manhood and womanhood.

Don't let them get their ideas from Hollywood. You teach them what the Bible says. You teach them what the Word of the Lord says. You guide them in the way of righteousness. You teach them the law of God. You let them see in your life what God's word means to you, and you teach them the oracles of God. That's your responsibility. So important. Now, the church will come alongside, and the church will help you in that, but the church's job is to support you in that ministry, not to supplant your ministry.

Our job is to help you. And the best way we help you is to teach you. you so you can go home and teach your children. Number two, teach your children, develop your children convincingly.

Convincingly. Desirre chapter 6, verse number 4, Here, O Israel, the Lord, our God, and the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your might. These words which I am committing you today shall be on your hearts. what I'm committing you today, they need to be on your heart. The Bible says these words in the first verse of chapter 6.

This is the commandment, the statutes, and the judgments which the Lord your God has committed me to teach you that you might do them in the land where you are going to over to possess it, so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord your God to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I can. command you all the days of your life and that your days may be belonged. Oh Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly just as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you in the land flowing with milk and honey.

Thirdly, teach it continually. The Bible says in verse number seven, Deutormich, chapter six, and you shall teach them diligently to your sons.

The word diligently is, the Hebrew word shenan, which means to sharpen. Listen, remember we told you Psalm 127, verse number four, children are like arrows, right? And those arrows need to be sharpened. Deerani Six picks up on that and says, look, your job is to sharpen your children by teaching them diligently. You sharpen them by continually whittling down, honing them in, helping them to understand what they are about. You see, because every time an arrow, is used, okay, it needs to be sharpened.

So it becomes sharper. So it sticks deeper. And you do that by continually sharpening the arrows. You do it with your children by continually sharpening them. And how do you continually sharpen your children? By continually teaching your children. Number four. Teach them creatively. Correctly, convincingly, continually and creatively. it says, and you shall teach them villageingly to your sons, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

Listen, contrary to popular opinion, you can come to church and I can teach you the Bible, I can preach to you on Wednesdays and Sundays, and that's good, that's great, because we want to expound the word of God. But the greatest lessons in life are learned as you go through each and every day. day. And the question arises in the heart and mind of your child. At the moment they ask a question and you answer it, you know they're growing. Because so many times we want to answer questions our children are not asking.

But once they ask a question, and we answer it, we know they truly want an answer. Teach them conspicuously. conspicuously. It says this, and you shall bind them as a sign in your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead, and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. That is conspicuously. The point is that God's word is supposed to be such a part of your life, that everybody knows that everything you do and everything you see and every word you speak is subject to the law of God.

And then, lastly, teach them completely. the Bible says in verse number 24 DeNarmy 6 so the Lord commanded us to observe all these statutes to fear the Lord our God for our good always and for our survival as it is today and it will be righteousness for us if we are careful to observe all this commandment before the Lord of God just as he commanded us not just some commands all the commands teach your children completely may God give you the grace and the mercy to follow the priorities of parents.