God's Counsel for Couples, Part 8

Tonight, as we once again look at God's counsel for couples. We're going to touch on an area that very few married couples ever really come to grips with, but believe it or not, it is probably, and here are what I'm going to say, one of the key reasons marriages have problems. In fact, it's one of the key reasons you as an individual have problems. We realize that in our marriage, problems arise when our relationship with God is not where it needs to be. Once that relationship with God is out of whack, then everything around us seems to fall from grace.

And so we need to understand what God has for us in its word. God says so many times that I'm interested in you living for me, glorifying my name, honoring me.

In fact, if you were to go all the way back to the book of Exodus and examine the commands of God, God says very plainly and very clearly, I need to be the priority.

I need to be the one you worship. I need to be the one you adore. And if you don't do that, I will visit that iniquity. Your sin upon the third and fourth.

fourth generations. If I am not the priority in your marriage, if I'm not the priority in your life, if I'm not the one that you love more than anything else in the world, you can be sure that your sin of dishonoring me will be visited upon the third and fourth generations.

But if you worship me properly, if you worship me primarily, then my loving kindness, will be shed upon thousands of your generations. But it all comes back to understanding your relationship with me. I must be number one.

He says in 1st Samuel 2.30, if you honor me, I will honor you. But you must honor me first. And that's what we've been looking at as we look at God's counsel for couples.

We began by looking at how we need to acknowledge God as divine priority. That was number one. That's always the number one issue.

If God is not the number one priority in my life, then everything else falls down around about it. If I don't not acknowledge God as the divine priority, I will not build towards spiritual maturity. That's number two.

And if I'm not building toward spiritual maturity, I cannot commit to personal integrity. That's number three.

And if I don't commit to personal integrity, I will not deepen marital intimacy. They all build one upon another. So if you miss the first one, you'll miss the second one.

If you miss the second one, you'll miss the third one. And on down the line. He says, if you don't deepen marital intimacy, then you won't expend yourself in selfless ministry. And if you don't do that, you won't forgive one another in genuine humility. And if you don't forgive one another and genuine humility, you can't guard your heart and home against the enemy. Just can't do it. And so, we've tried to build one foundation upon the other, one building block upon the other to help you understand that when God gives counsel to us as couples, he is saying, look, this is what needs to happen in your marriage.

This is what needs to happen in your individual life. I am the first. I am the last. And I am everything in between. You must see me as such and worship me as such. And when you do, you're honoring me. And if you honor me, God says, I will honor you.

Now, if I was to ask you to see me, do you honor God? Most of you would probably say, yeah, I do. I do. And that's important. But when it comes to honoring God, it deals with everything about my life, not just some things. And if truth be known, there are certain things we honor God in, and there are certain things we dishonor God in. And if we can honor him in more ways than we dishonor him, then we're on the good side of God, so we think. and so we try to make sure that we honor him in more areas than we dishonor him and think that he's okay with that he's not he wants to be honored in all areas of our life and so tonight what we're going to do as we pick up God's counsel for couples we need to understand what it means to honor God specifically in one area because this is the area you have the most difficult time honoring him in you need to honor God with your money.

Need to. And believe it or not, this single issue here destroys more marriages than you'll ever realize. Because it destroys my relationship with God. And in my relationship with God is being destroyed, I cannot have an effective relationship with my spouse. I cannot be an effective leader in my family. And so we need to come to grips with what God says about honoring Him.

him and specifically honoring God with our money. If you have your Bible telling me to Proverbs chapter 3. Tonight, we want to look at the precept.

The problem, the perspective, the priority, the principles, and the promise. Pretty simple outline, right? Right. Difficult to enact, you'll see. Number one, the precept.

Here it is. Barbara three, verse number nine, honor the Lord from your wealth. You say, well, I can't do that. I'm not very wealthy. Well, no, that's not what it's saying. Honor the Lord from your wealth and from the first of all your produce.

So your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with new wine. God says you need to honor me.

First Samuel 230 says, if you honor me, I will honor you. We say, great. God says, okay, honor me with the first fruits of your wealth.

Now comes the question, do you do that? He doesn't say honor me with the last fruits. He says, honor me with the first fruits.

He doesn't say wait to the end of the month and see if there's any money left over, then honor me. He says, no, honor me at the top. if you don't honor me at the top I'm not going to honor you that's what he says honor the Lord with the first fruits of your wealth it says over in Proverbs 22 verse number four these words the reward of humility and the fear of the Lord guess what is this you ready if you are a humble man man and you fear of the Lord, God says, here's your reward.

Riches, honor, and life. That's what God says. Say, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are we going to hear one of those health and wealth and prosperity gospel messages this evening? No, but you're going to hear what the word of God says.

And God says, if you are humble before me and you fear me, that is, you are in the business of honoring me, guess what?

I'm going to honor your life. I'm going to honor you because that is my promise to you. But you're going to honor me with the first fruits of your increase.

Not the middle fruits, not the last fruits, but the first fruits. By giving the first fruits and not the last fruits, you're saying God is my number one priority.

And God says, if I'm your priority, guess what? I promise productivity. I promise that, he says. He says, I'm not looking to provide for you barely. I'm looking to provide for you bountifully. God says that's what I want to do.

Now, will you trust him? Will you take him at his word? Will you believe what he says? Only you can answer that, right? Paul says, but my God shall supply all your needs. according to his riches and glory by Christ Jesus. This is what God promises. That's the precept. Honor God with the first fruits of your increase.

If God says, if you honor me, I'm going to honor you. And he says, honor me with the first fruits of your increased, you need to go home tonight and say, okay, God said, I got to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to obey God. This is what I'm going to do with the first fruits of my increase.

With the check I get, bang, right at the top, I'm giving to God. But there's a problem. That's point number two.

Turium and your Bible, the First Timothy chapter six. First Timothy chapter six, there's a problem. There's the problem why you're not going to go home tonight and do that. I'm going to tell you why you're not going to go home tonight and do that. You say, you don' do don'T know commitment, for we have brought nothing into the world so we cannot take anything out of it either. And if we have food and covering and these or with these, we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and the snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.

For the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil. And some, by longing for it, have wandered away from the faith and pierce themselves with many a paying. God says, through the pen of the Apostle Paul, the reason you don't want to honor God with the first foot to your increase is because you love your money.

You love it. The word love for money is a phrase that means affection for silver. You have an affection for silver, an affection for money. It's talking about your attitude. It's talking about what's inside of a man. Paul is talking about the sin of greed, the root of all kinds of evil. It's not money. There are a lot of people who got money. It's the love for money. It's the wants of money. It's the want for more things. In order to get more things, I've got to have more money. so therefore I won't go home tonight and say I'm going to honor God with the first boots of my increase because down deep in my soul I have a love for money that I don't necessarily want to admit that's why God says you can't serve God in money Matthew 624 you can't serve both of them you're going to hold on to one and despise the other you can't do both you either serve God or serve money but you can't do both no man can serve too much no man can serve too masters.

And Paul says that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil things in our lives. You see, you don't even know it. But this problem will cause more problems in your marriage than you've even realized. You don't even know it. And it might not be marital conflict between you and your wife. It just could be marital issues that you're struggling in your walk with the Lord. And I'll explain that to you more in just a few moments, that your walk with the Lord is stagnant and is hurting, and you're serving in the church.

You're teaching a Sunday school class. And you're seeing things happen, but there's something missing. And that's because you're holding something back. And God says, I want you to honor me with all that you have, not just parts of what you have.

Say, how do you know you have a love for money? Well, let me give you a few suggestions. You spend more time thinking about how to get money than how to pursue excellence in your work. That's how you know you love money. You're always looking for a bigger job, always looking for a better job, always looking for more money. You're not worried about the excellence in your work. You're not worried about your testimony in the workplace. You're not worried about God being put on display through your ministry efforts in the workplace, you're concerned about getting a bigger, better job.

So you have more and more money. That tells you to have a love for money. Your quality of service should mean more to you than the amount of money that you make. Now listen carefully. Because we have forgotten our vocation in life, we are not fulfilled. in our occupation in life. Our vocation, our calling, is to be a representative of Jesus Christ in the marketplace. But somehow that's not good enough. But what is good enough is if I make enough money to supply all of my wants as well as my needs.

That's where you've got to be careful. Number two. Oh, by the way, do you know why you work? somebody think well I'm working because you know I got to take care of my wife and my kids and you know all that's well well and good and you need to provide for your family or you're worth than an infidel first simply five tells us that but you know why you work phees before 28 let him who stole still no more let him labor with his hands why then he may give to him who has a need You know why God gives you a job?

So you can meet the needs of your brother. That's a holy perspective on work, isn't it? You know why God gives you a raise? Gives you a better job? So you can better meet the needs of your brother. You ever think of it that way? No, we're thinking, man, I've got a bigger job, and I can get a bigger house. I got more money. I've got a bigger car. You know? I got a pay raise and I can get more clothes. We're not thinking about how we can meet the needs of our brother, but Ephesians 428 is very clear.

You labor working with your hands that somehow you might be able to give that which is good to your brother who has a need. Let me tell you something.

You have that perspective on work. Everything changes about how you go to work every day. Everything does. Number two, the reason you know you love money is that you never seem to have enough.

You never have enough. Oh, I just never have enough money. If I just had this, if I just met this level, if I was just able to get up to this ring on the ladder, oh, everything would be fine and dandy. No, it wouldn't. Because once you get there, you raise your stent of living, and then you don't have enough, so you've got to go up another ring. And once you get there, you raise your standard of living, and you still never have enough. You see, it's the American dream, right, to raise our stent of living, to live better next year than we did this year.

And if we don't live better next year than we do this year, there must be a problem with us, but we need to raise our standard of living. Who said? GQ magazine, Fortune 500 magazine? Who said that? But that's what we think, see? That's success. That's the American dream. And everybody lives for the American dream. As Christians, as aliens and strangers, we should live for the heavenly dream, the heavenly hope. But Paul says that godiness with contentment is great gain. You never have enough. Number three, you like to flaunt what you own.

That's how you know you've got the love of money. You derive an inordinate amount of pleasure from wearing and driving and living in and showing off the things that you buy. That's how you know. you got a love for money. Number four, you resent giving it to others. Don't like it. You resent when the pastor preaches on it. That's how you know you got a love for money. You resent it. Get upset. Pastors preaching on money. If you've been in our church, this is only the third time I preached on it in seven and a half years.

you just happen to be here tonight but people say well you know he's preaching on money again you know always asking for more money I don't want your money I don't want your money I don't need your money God doesn't need your money you think God need your money he doesn't need your money he wants you that's what your money it's already his anyway. See? We missed that. Well, Jesus is number three, the perspective.

There's a perspective we all must get. Once you get this perspective, you begin to understand more of what God says, and that's this.

First Corinthians 4-7 says, what do you have that you did not receive? What do you have that you did not receive? Meaning, everything you have, you receive from God. Everything. Because he is a great gift giver. Listen to what Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 5, verse number 19. Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, he has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor. This is the gift of God. Solomon says, here's the gift of God, that you have a job.

that you can rejoice in that job. It's a gift from God. Your money. It is a gift from God. Ecclesiase 7, verse number 14, in the day of prosperity, be happy. I mean, hey, listen, in the day of prosperity, are we happy? Oh, man, we are happy. But in the day of adversity, consider, God has made the one as well as the other so that man may not discover anything that will be after him. will see me to point number four the priority turn with me to second quithian chapter eight please second christian chapter eight beautiful story about a church of macedonia who was going through great affliction and poverty and listen to what paul says when he writes to these people in corinth about the church at macedonia he says now brethren we wish to make known to you the grace of god which has been given in the churches of macedonia that in a greater deal of affliction their abundance of joy and their deep poverty overflowed in the wealth of their liberality.

For I testified that according to their ability and beyond their ability, they gave of their own accord, begging us with much entreaty for the favor of participation in the support of the saints. And this, not as we had expected, but they first gave themselves to the Lord and to us by the will of God.

Here is a church that's poor. Here's a church that is dirt poor. And what they want to do was beg for the opportunity to give more to the people of God. What are the principles? How do I begin this whole giving thing? How do I honor God with my money? Number one, here it is.

Here are the principles. This is point number five in your outline. Second Quetheedithe 9, verse number 6.

First of all, give bountifully. Bountifully? Yes, bountifully. Syncathes 9, verse number 6. Now, as I say, he who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully. So if you come to church and you just sew a little bit, that means you just give a little bit, you'll only reap a little bit. But if you sow bountifully, God says, you'll reap bountifully.

you'll reap bountifully. Now some of you don't understand that and some of you don't believe that, but that's what God says.

And I take what God says at face value and I tend to believe what God says. So God says if you sow sparingly, you'll reap sparingly.

So bountifully though, you'll reap bountifully. He says down in verse number eight, and God is able to make all grace abound to you that always having all sufficient, and everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed. An abundance for every good deed! You so bountifully, God says, you'll have an abundance for every good deed.

Every one of them. As it is written, he scattered abroad, he gave to the poor, his righteousness abides forever. Paul takes the focus off of us onto God, the ultimate giver, who gave himself away. And verse number 10 says this, now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and what multiply listen god isn't want to supply your needs god wants to multiply your needs that's what god wants to do he wants to do more than just supply what you need he wants to multiply all that you have will you let him do that so number one you give bountifully number two you give indominy individually.

It says, verse number seven, let each one do just as he has purposed. Give individually. Children, parents, give individually. No one needs to know what you're giving. This is between you and the Lord. Give sacrificially. For most of us when we give, we don't give sacrificially. we give just enough it doesn't hurt and God says why don't you give to it hurts and watch to see what happens well see to this the promise to this the promise promise Luke 638 give and it would be given to you good measure pressed down shaking together running over for whatever measure you deal out to others it will be dealt to you in return we read about in secretes 9 chapter 6 chapter 9 verse number 6 that if you sow sparingly you reap sparingly if you give bountifully you reap bountifully the law of the harvest is a very important law to understand it's this.

You reap only if you sow. You don't reap if you don't sow. So you have to sew in order to reap. And you reap only what you sow. So if you sow corn, you reap corn. You don't reap beats. Right? So you only reap what you sow. So whatever you sow, the principle of identity says, reap according to what you sow. Number three, you reap more than you sow.

Did you know that? You reap more than you sow. If you put a little seed in the ground, you get more than what a little seed is, you get a whole crop that comes out, right? So you always reap more than you sow. So if you want more, reap more. Also this. You always reap later than you sow. Always. See, we sew and expect to reap immediately. Then work that way. That's why I said I was answering you guys this question. So you say, I've been given 20% of my income, and I'm not reaping any benefits here.

Let me tell you something. When a farmer puts that crop into the ground, It doesn't spring up as a minute he puts it in there. It takes time. And God is testing you. It's to see if you're going to trust him and watch over him. Because his promise is this, I'm going to bless the generous. I will do that. If you honor me, I will honor you. If you give, I will give to you, shaking down, pressed down, and running over. If you sow bountifully, you will reap bountifully. That's my promise. He says, you can trust me.

The question is, will you trust him?