God's Counsel for Couples, Part 3

It was Leo Tolstoy who said that everybody thinks of changing humanity, but nobody thinks of changing himself. That is so true. That's very evident in some of your lives even as we speak this evening. Tonight, we come to the third element in God's counsel for couples, and that is our commitment to personal integrity.

Our commitment to personal integrity. This becomes of utmost importance, as we understand. what God has called each of us to do. I've come to realize that whenever integrity declines in one's life, purity will be damaged. If purity is damaged, spirituality will be diminished. If spirituality is diminished, ministry will be demolished because your family will be destroyed. It's a cycle. It begins with one's commitment to His God and working in that relationship to honor him and glorify him no matter what.

Seeking to live a life that models God honors him, glorifies him is the life of integrity. But once I begin to compromise that commitment, once I begin to renege on living the life that God wants me to live. My integrity then decreases. If that's the case, the purity of my life will be damaged. And if that purity is damaged, the spirituality of my life will be diminished. If that's diminished, then my ministry will be demolished. If my ministry is demolished, my family will always be destroyed. And a lot of you here this evening have a family that's being destroyed because your home lacks integrity.

Your father lacks it, your mother lacks it, your grandparents lack it, you as children lack it, not knowing that the base of a successful family where God's hope is designed around people who live what they say they believe. Tonight, I will look at integrity with you.

and ask you to say to yourself, am I making a daily commitment to live a life of integrity? Before my children, before my wife, before my husband, before my family. We want to begin by looking, number one, at the explanation of integrity.

We'll move from the explanation to look at the essence of integrity. Then we'll look at the enemy of integrity, the emblem of integrity, and then finally the end of integrity.

You with me? Five easy points. All one word. Very simple to follow, right? All right. Number one, the explanation.

Let me give you one word. The explanation of integrity is just one word. Completeness. That's it. Wholeness. That's how integrity is explained. The Bible says in Proverbs 20, verse number six, many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man?

Are they to be found? If so, where are they to be found? There are many men who claim that they're loyal. There will be many men who will say that they are committed. But the Bible says, who can find a trustworthy man?

Where are they? Psalm 119, verse 1, says this. How blessed are those whose way is blameless, or whose way has integrity, who walk in the law of the Lord. How blessed are those who observe his testimonies who seek him with all their heart? they also do no unrighteousness. They walk in his ways. Thou hast ordained thy precepts, that we should keep them diligently. O, that my ways may be established to keep thy statutes. Then I shall not be ashamed when I look upon all thy commandments. The Bible speaks of the man of integrity, the man who is blameless, the man whose life is what we call complete.

A person who has integrity is a person who is not divided. That's the man of duplicity. The man of integrity is the man who does not pretend. That's called hypocrisy. People with integrity have nothing to hide. And because they have nothing to hide, they have nothing to fear. You ever met people who are trying to hide something? They have a lot to fear. They fear exposure. They fear that somehow the real them will be found out. But a man of integrity does not fear that. The explanation of integrity is one word, completeness.

The essence of integrity is this, a clear conscience. The essence of integrity is a clear conscience before God and before man. Let me ask you a question, do you have a clear conscience?

Or is your conscience full of guilt? There's nothing better in all the world than a clear conscience. It's better than perfect health. physically. Nothing greater in all the world than to have a clear conscience. We must understand that. It has said that Puritan Richard Sibbs has said this about the conscience. He said, the conscience is the soul reflecting upon itself. The soul reflecting upon itself. The conscience is our ability to sense our own guilt. That's a tremendous gift from God. God has instilled in each and every one of us a conscience.

In fact, the conscience is an innate ability to sense right and wrong. And everyone, even the most unspiritual heathen, has a conscience. How do we know that? Roman chapter 2, verse number 14, says that when Gentiles who do not have the law do instinctively the things of the law, these not having the law or a law to themselves, and that they show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness, and their thoughts ultimately accusing or else defending them. God has put within us a conscience, the ability to know between right and wrong, you're born with that conscience.

And that conscience needs to be one that's clear and clean. That's the essence of integrity. You need to understand that. Let me read to you what Paul said in Acts 24, verse number 16.

He says, in view of this, I also do my best to maintain always a blameless conscience, a clear conscience both before God and before men. You see, the man of integrity has a clear conscience before man as well as before God. You can fool some men. You can't fool God, right? And so you've got to make sure that before God, your conscience is clear. The explanation of integrity? Completeness. wholeness. The essence of integrity, a clear conscience, a clean conscience. Number two, or number three, excuse me, the enemy of integrity is compromise.

The enemy of integrity is compromise. When you compromise what you know to be true, you'll violate a very basic biblical principle. That's why it's so important that those who lead in the church as elders, as pastors, live a life as the Bible calls above reproach, blameless lives. If a leader is somebody who stands up in front and takes charge, if a leader is someone with a great personality, that's one thing. But if a leader is somebody who is to model a specific standard that you want people to follow, And that leader must be one who models integrity.

Most churches choose their leaders on the basis of personality, success, prosperity, even popularity. Most people choose their spouse on the same criteria. But the number one criteria is, are they trustworthy?

Are they a man or woman of integrity? Do they live a life that's equivalent to what they say they believe? Warren Wisby said many ministers today are governed by popularity and not by integrity, by statistics and not by scripture. That's true. Very true. A person who's above reproach deals with the issues. There's not a blot on their life that will discredit their... their testimony. Think with me for a moment of people in the Bible who had integrity and think about their lives. Daniel is a man of great integrity, right?

Turn back with me in your Bible to the book of Daniel for a moment. Let me show you something. Daniel 6. The Bible says in Daniel 6, verse number 1, it seemed good to Darius to appoint the 120 satrips over the kingdom that they should be in charge of the whole kingdom.

And over them three commissioners. of whom Daniel was one, that these satraps might be accountable to them, and that the king might not suffer loss. Then this Daniel began distinguishing himself among the commissioners and satrips because he possessed an extraordinary spirit, and the king planned to appoint him over the entire kingdom. Then the commissioners and satraps began trying to find a ground abacquisition against Daniel in regard to government affairs, but they could find no ground of accusation or evidence of corruption inasmuch as he was faithful and no negligence or corruption was to be found in him now that's the man of integrity they look for something that would evidence itself when this man's life that they could hold against him they couldn't find anything they even scrutinized the man's inner being to see if there was kind of corruption, some secret corruption in his private life that if exposed would destroy him.

He couldn't find it. He was clean, squeaky clean. And even, even when he was to worship no longer his God but the king's God, he still did the same thing he always did. It says, now when Daniel knew that the document was signed, he entered his house, now in his roof chamber. He had windows open toward Jerusalem, and he continued kneeling on his knees three times a day praying and giving thanks before his God as he had been doing previously. Listen to what I'm going to say. This man was so committed to his God that no matter what his boss said, he would continue worshiping his God as he had done before.

A man of integrity never compromises his worship. A mad of integrity never says, God, I've got to put you off for a while because I've got to do this over here. Nope, God is number one.

You can't forfeit that. God takes the priority. He stands strong on what he believes. It never wavers to that belief. That was Daniel. I remember growing up, my folks told me, no baseball on Sunday mornings. Can't play. What am I going to do? Rebell, go to the game? They had to drive me to the game. I'm going to do walk. My folks said, it's the Lord's Day. On Sunday, you worship God. If you don't worship God on Sunday and play baseball on Sunday morning instead, you're going to have problems. Not with me.

Not with your batting average. Not with your coach, but with your God. And you don't want to have problems with your God. My folks should always tell me that. That's very important. My folks have bothered to me that Sunday was the Lord's Day. Never compromised your worship for anything. But we do, don't we? We compromise it for vacation. We compromise it for work. We compromise it for play. It's just not that important. Remember, acknowledge the divine priority. That's number one.

Build towards spiritual intimacy is number two. And commit to personal integrity. That's number three.

To commit to personal integrity means they're not going to compromise acknowledging God is my divine authority and my divine priority. He's number one.

I'm not going to set him aside. I will tell my boss, I'll work six days a week. I'll work six and a half days a week, but I won't work on Sunday morning. Because that's God's time. Why I worship him. You know that says to your children? Well, I speaks volumes to your children. Absolute volumes to your children. They realize that mom and dad are not going to compromise. This is set in stone. Say, well, man, you're just being too legalistic now.

Really? Really. That's always what people say when they want an excuse to get out of Sunday morning worship. You're too legalistic. The bottom line is that God's a priority. And I will demonstrate that priority no matter what. Daniel never compromised. He went back and did what he had previously done, praying and giving thanks to his God, serving his God, worshiping God, no matter what the king said. Even, I mean, he'd do more than lose his job. He'd lose his life. Did he care? No. Just cared about his God.

That's a great man. Mad of integrity. I love the story growing up. Somebody had turned my parents into the IRS somebody in the church. And one day there was a knock at the door. I answered the door. There was this man in a suit, briefcase in hand. I've never seen him before. Beat a polite young man that I was. Can I help you? Are your parents at him? I said, well, no, my mom is, though. He's going to talk to your mom. Sure. So, Mom. or somebody at the door for you. She says, man, my name is so-and-so, and I'm from the Internal Revenue Service.

I knew what that was, and I was only 15 years old, but I knew who that guy was, okay? And my mom being the kind of mom, she was, well, come on in. And, man, someone has turned you into us, because they don't believe that your giving patterns are correct. Really? Yeah, according to our records, your charitable giving is way beyond anything that it should ever be for someone of your household income. She says, well, let me get my records for you.

Now, if you've ever been to my house, my mom keeps immaculate records. She knows every gift that I've ever received for Christmas, birthday or anything, how much it cost, where she bought it from, it's all in a log. It's unbelievable. So she brings all this stuff out to the IRS guy, IRS guy. Boxes of stuff. She says, this is this year. This is last year. This is the year after that. I want you to feel free to go through all of these. And if you have any questions, please ask me. When they were all done, he had two things.

to say one Mrs. Sparks I work for the IRS we like to think that we're organized but I have never seen in all my years of working with the IRS anyone as organized as you and you are so organized that I have to tell you we owe you more money my mom said that's good to know. Thank you for coming. I say that story because my parents modeled to me truthfulness and integrity in the home and to make sure that what I said was true. I could sit and watch and listen to that man and know that my mom had a clear conscience.

She was hiding nothing. Everything was above board. They could examine anything they wanted to examined because there was nothing to hide. It was all there. And the man of integrity increases his ability to lead because people trust him. Doesn't lose his testimony. If you're with us in our study of Genesis, we studied the man a lot, who was a man of great compromise. And he lost everything. He lost his city. He lost his testimony. He lost. He lost his family. Why? Because he was one who was willing to compromise his integrity to meet his own needs.

Don't do that. Don't do that. Number four, the emblem of integrity. The emblem of integrity is confession. Some of you say, you know, I haven't been honest. I am a liar. I am a hypocrite. I do live a life of duplicity. I'm not living the way I need to live. The emblem of integrity is confession. The ability to confess your sin to be forthright about where you are. That's the emblem of a man of integrity. To be able to say I was wrong. To be able to own up to the fact that you lied. To hurt to the fact that you sinned against your God.

Turned me to Psalm 26. Psalm 26 Says it this way Psalm 26 Versus 1 and 2 Vindicate me O Lord For I have bought in my integrity And I have trusted in the Lord Without wavering Examine me O Lord And try me Test my mind and My heart That phrase without wavering Is the Hebrew word translated That you're unable to slip To slide To shake or to totter You are Unchangeable You are founded, you are strengthened. And David was saying that no matter what obstacles you face, what you're going through, he was so determined to trust the Lord that he would not slip or slide under the load.

And he asked God to judge him and to vindicate him. He said, God, I want you to give me an internal scrutiny and I want you to give me an intensive surgery. I want you to examine my life. I want you to turn my life inside out. I want you to prove me. I want you to scrutinize. me. I want you to examine everything about my life, and I want you to take your word and give me surgery, an intensive surgery. Try me, O Lord. It's the word it means to try to prove. It's a word used over and over in the scripture.

32 times in the Old Testament, and 22 of those times it speaks of the activity of refining gold or refining silver. Purify me. Cleanse me. Try me. test my mind test my heart God do whatever you want to do but God vindicate me look at my life examine me see if there be any wicked way in me and if there is lead me in the way of everlasting friends that is the emblem of integrity confession let me prove it to you one more time first kings it's first kings chapter 9 I believe it is Yeah, 1 Kings 9 Solomon was becoming king and listen to what God says about his father David Verse number four As for you, Solomon If you will walk before me as your father David walked In integrity of heart In uprightness Doing according to all that I have commanded you And will keep my statutes and my ordinances Then I will establish the own of your kingdom over Israel forever.

Wait a minute. David was a man of integrity. He had an affair with Bashiba. He lied. He killed her husband and lied. He was the man of integrity? Yes. Why? Because the emblem of integrity is confession, and David was a man who confessed his sin. So no matter what has happened in your life before this night, if you say, I will confess my sin, I will ask God to examine my life, to try me, to prove me. And God, you take whatever is wicked in me and get rid of it because I want to live your kind of life.

That's a man of integrity. And that's what God wants in your life. That's what God wants. Although David fumbled, faltered, failed, and fell, his heart wanted a fellowship with his God. And therefore, he could confess his sins. And lastly, what's the end? The end is Christian character. The end is character that goes far beyond anything we could ever imagine. Psalm 15, verse number five says that this man who walks in integrity will never be shaken. This is the man who's solid. This is the man who's strong.

He does not fear. He will never be shaken. Over in Psalm 15, verse number five, it says this. No, I'm sorry. Proverbs 10. Proverbs chapter 10, verse number 7, it says this. He who walks in integrity walks securely. He walks securely. Problems 11, verse number 3, the integrity upright will guide them. Proverbs chapter 19, verse number 1, says this, better as a poor man who walks in his integrity than he was perverse in speech and is a fool. Psalm 18, verse number 20, says this. Psalm 18, verse number 20, The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands, he has recompensed me.

For I have kept the ways of the Lord, and have not wickedly departed from my God, for all his ordinances were before me, and I did not put away his statutes from me. I was also blameless with him, and I kept myself from iniquity, therefore the Lord has recompensed to me according to my righteousness according to the cleanness of my hands in his eyes. The Bible says in Psalm 8411 no good thing will the Lord withhold from those who walk in integrity, those who walk in uprightness.

That's what God wants for you. That's what God wants for your family. Mom and dad, that's what God needs from you. That's how you need to lead your family.