God's Counsel for Couples, Part 2

So tonight we want to ask and answer, how do I become the kind of partner God wants me to be, the kind of suitable helper, the kind of helpmate that glorifies and honors his wonderful, beautiful name. And I guess, every once in a while, I think, you know, I wonder if this is ever going to be my last sermon. You know, as a preacher, you think about that on Sunday morning, on Wednesday evening. You never know when you're going to die. The Lord can come back. You never know about those things. Sorry, babe.

But the bottom line is, you never know if this is going to be your last. sermon one man used to always say i forget who it was speak as a dying man to dying men and if you do it that way speaking that way every sermon will be like it's your last sermon and it will be like their last sermon so i guess if i had to preach one last sermon this would be it as we talk about god's counsel for couples helping you understand the second component in building a that honors and glorifies the Lord, and that is building towards spiritual maturity.

Last week you talked about how we need to acknowledge God as the divine priority. Tonight we're going to talk about how you build towards spiritual maturity. What are the essential elements that are necessary for you as an individual to be the right partner so that you can stand before God and say, Lord, I have done everything I possibly can to honor and glorify you in my marriage? I have done what you've asked me to do. I have glorified thy name. I have manifested thy name. I have put you on display with all that I have.

Tonight, I want to give you the components that make up your spiritual pilgrimage that help you understand how to build towards spiritual maturity. And what are those elements that define for us what it means to grow in our walk with God so that we become the right partner? And therefore, your husband or your wife will be able to say, not only am I striving to become the right partner, but my spouse is that kind of partner. Tonight, turn me in your Bible to 1 Peter chapter 1. We will begin by understanding the basic elements of building toward spiritual maturity.

Number one is this. It begins with a divine inheritance. It begins with a divine inheritance. You're going to be glad you came this evening, I promise. I like to say that every Sunday and every Wednesday thinking that you're going to be glad you came because of what you're going to hear. I feel that way, and I'm doing the preaching, but I don't know if you always feel that way, but tonight I think that you'll echo with me, yes, I'm glad I came. Because if you understand this, then you're on your way to becoming the right partner.

It begins with a divine inheritance. The Bible says in 1 Peter chapter 1, verse number 3, blessed to be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away reserved in heaven for you.

A born-again believer has an inheritance. They have received something from God, a blessing, a possession as a gift. One that cannot be destroyed, one that cannot be defiled, one that cannot be diminished, and one that cannot be displaced. That's a unique inheritance. If you were to receive an inheritance in your family, whether it's of some monetary value, it will fade away. It will not last forever. But God's gift, God's inheritance, never fades away, never diminishes, never loses its luster. Why?

Because it's his gift to you. Over in Acts chapter 26, Paul speaks about what Christ said to him on the road to Damascus, about his commission in life. And he says these words, that he will open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light. and from the domain of Satan to God in order that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been sanctified by faith in me. Paul's ministry was to preach the gospel. When he preached the gospel, people would come to saving faith.

And that saving faith is part and parcel to receiving a divine inheritance. That is, a gift from God that will never fade away, that is imperishable and at last. forever. Our inheritance is a great blessing based on one fact that we are in Christ. Over in Ephesians chapter 1, it says it this way in verse number 11. In him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to his purpose, who works all things after the counsel of his will. To the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ, should be to the praise of his glory in him.

Our inheritance is based on the fact that we are one with Christ, that we are in Him. Over in Colossians chapter 1, verse number 12, it says this. It says that we are to give thanks to God, the Father, who has qualified us, to share in the inheritance of the saints, in light. God now becomes our father. We were once his enemy. Now we are his sons. Why? Because he has gifted us with his inheritance. He has made us a part of his family, a part of his possession. He has qualified us. We didn't have to qualify.

He qualified us. We can't qualify to receive an inheritance. God has to do all the work. The point being is that we are in him, we are in Christ. Now that phrase is extremely important because it's used 169 times to describe your relationship with the living God. Do you know how many times you are called the Christian in the Bible? Count them. Three. That's it. Three times. Because being in Christ is the, a better description of who you are. You see, it's always not a good thing to say, are you a Christian?

Because everybody thinks they're a Christian. I mean, my dog would say he was a Christian if he could speak. I mean, he's good and he does good things, and he is as morally good as anybody else is in America. Okay? But most people, if you ask them, are you a Christian? They would say, well, of course I'm a Christian. I'm an American. All Americans are Christians. I mean, come on. I mean, I go to church. I go Sunday school I carry a Bible I do the right of course I'm a Christian so it's not good to say that you need to ask them are you in Christ say what do you mean I'm in what's that mean see that that's a better description of of your relationship with the living God see if they scratch their head and say in Christ what's that mean they're not a Christian more than likely or a very uneducated one why because if the Bible says that 169 different times it wants you to understand this is what your relationship's about you are in Christ you are one with him you become a fellow heir you become one who receives an inheritance you have a unique relationship with the living God of the universe point number two it begins with a divine inheritance number two it blossoms in a disciplined reverence it blossoms in a different or a disciplined reverence Psalm 92 verse verses 1 and 2 it is good to give thanks to the Lord and it sing praises to thy name almost high to declare thy loving kindness in the morning and thy faithfulness by night it blossoms in a disciplined reverence both and in the morning and number two in the evening whether it's morning or night there is a time set aside where I reverence and revere my God a time where I worship my God we talked about last week and did it on me chapter 6 when God says you know when you enter the land the new land that I'm giving you and you drink for wells you didn't and you live in houses that you didn't build and you feed off the land of the crops that you didn't plant and things are going well.

Be careful lest you forget. Let's you forget me, he says. You make sure you fear me. You make sure you worship me. Why? There needs to be a reverence for me. There needs to be one who sits down and worships me and fears my glorious name. Listen, you want to be a right, partner, then to become that partner requires there to be a discipline in your life. Will you spend time revering your God and worshiping him in the privacy of your closet, of your home, all alone with him? You and your God. Worshiping him, praising him, glorifying him.

You need to do that. It is so imperative. Why? Because our lives, the Bible says that God seeks true what?

Worshippers, right? And if you read through the book of Revelation, God is calling for people to come in worship him. He wants to be worshipped. If you read Revelation 4 and Revelation 5, you read about that worship and how incessant that worship is, and how instinctive that worship is, How incomparable that worship is and how inevitable that worship is. It's by nature that the creatures in heaven worship Almighty God. And God says, that's the way I want you to live on earth.

In the morning, in the evening, I will express my loving kindness to thee. Read to the Psalms. The Psalmist says, in the morning I offer my prayers to thee. In the morning I give myself to thee. In the evening, before I go to bed at night, I pour my heart out to thee. Why? Because the Psalmist's life was characterized by reverencing his God. revering his name giving glory to him looking to find more from the king of kings that he might become the kind of person God wanted him to be realizing that that becomes the key to your to your growth spiritually as you set time aside to revere your God to worship him to give glory to his name was a.

W. W. W. W. A. W. W. W. Tozer who said, retire from the world each day to some private spot. stay in the secret place to the surrounding noises begin to fade out of your heart and a sense of God's presence envelops you it was the last time you took some time to be alone just you and your God taking his word reading his word letting him speak to you through your word through his word you communicating back to him by pouring your life out to him making sure that that all the noises around you are silenced and you focus in on his presence.

So important. If you're going to become the right partner, it's an absolute necessity that that takes place in your life to glorify his wonderful, wonderful name. But you know, we find ourselves caught up in many things that just aren't right. You know, we don't want to reverence our God. We don't want to do what he says. We don't want to worship his name. You know, we go through life as if there is no God. I mean, you know, when you think about it, sometimes we live as like practical atheists. We go through the day without ever talking to God.

We go through the day without ever letting God speak to us to His word, as if He doesn't even exist. Let me ask you question.

Did you read your Bible today? You spend time on your knees today before God in a throne, pulling your heart out to Him? If you didn't do that today, then you live your life as if there is no God. Or if there is a God, he doesn't make that much difference to your life or he's not that important to you. We are as children. I mean, if I go through a day and my kids don't come to me and ask me something or talk to you about something, I'm going to wonder, what's wrong? Don't they want to talk to me?

Don't they want to communicate with me? Don't they want to pour their heart out to me? You see, as a child of God, we should want to go to him, talk to him. And so it's a disciplined reverence, isn't it? It's not easy. It takes discipline to get up, to stay up at night, to find the time, to discipline yourself, to find the time. We say we're too busy. Listen, if you're too busy, you spend time with God, you are too busy. I mean, come on. I mean, we should look to spend time with our God, our maker, our creator, every single day.

That's your life source. That's your lifeline to your life source. That you might grow in your walk with God. Number three, it's balanced by a determined obedience.

It's balanced by a determined obedience. It begins with the divine inheritance. It blossoms in a disciplined reverence. In fact, you know, so much so that you realize that when people spend time with God, there's a certain beauty about their lives, right? A certain fragrance about their lives. You can smell they've been around God. You ever notice that?

I mean, they just exude God. They smell God. And you smell God in them. and everything about what they do smells of God. You ever notice that?

Next time you need to start sniffing some things out, you know, to figure out what's going on around here. But that's the truth. I mean, just be around somebody who loves to spend time with God and everything about their life is different, right? I mean, they're amazing people to be around. And when you walk up to them, they smell different than everybody else does. That's an amazing thing. Probably because there is this blooming taking place in their lives. And the colors are shining forth. And the fragrance is just exuding from their lives.

You can see it. You can smell it. You can sense it. So much so you want to taste it. And God uses other people in our lives to do that, doesn't he? Sure he does. That's why we always say that whenever you want to, want to go for counsel, find the godliest man or the godliest woman you can, and just follow them through the day. Don't say it all. Just follow them. Where they go, what they do, how they act, just follow them, and watch what they do, just follow them through the day and watch what they do.

That's why Christ chose men to be with them, right? So they would follow him through the day and watch how he lived. Watch what he did. And all of a sudden they began to scratch their heads and they asked the Lord to teach him one thing, didn't they? Only one. They never said, hey, Lord, teaches how to do that miracle thing? Man, that was pretty cool. How did you do that? That is just incredible. I want to be able to do that. Never asked that. But they asked. Lord, teach us to pray. Why do you always do that prayer thing?

why is it you're always on your knees why is it you do that teach us to pray we want to know why did you do it how it is you do it and what happens as a result of it in fact we've seen what happens as a result of it so therefore lord teach us how to do that and christ taught them and after he taught them then they tried to let them live it out and they fell asleep in the garden of gosemite right but after that experience when you get to the book of acts, oh, they remembered what they were taught.

See, when you're around somebody who walks with God, what happens? Would you teach me how to do that? How'd you do that? Well, how come you're that way? Those people have a disciplined reverence. Those people spend time with their God, and they're different than anybody else you've ever seen. That's the way you need to be, right? And boy, I tell you, now you're on your way to become the right partner. And guess what? Your partner is going to walk around saying, I want to follow you today. I want you to teach me how you did that.

See that? It's not marrying the right person. It's being the right partner. Number three, it's balanced by a determined obedience.

A determined obedience. Listen. the rubber meets the road when it comes to following the scriptures right we spent a whole eight weeks the first eight weeks of this new year looking at god's word in you in 2002 because we want god's word to be such a major part of your life that you need to understand what exactly that means but but the bottom line is is that when god shows you with this word what you need to do it comes down to saying okay i am going to determine to do what god says yes lord i will follow you Yes, Lord, I will do what you say over in John 1421.

Oh, I love this one. John 1421, it says this, he who has my commandments and keeps him. He it is who loves me and he who loves me shall be loved by my father and I will love him. So if you keep my commandments, if you do what I say, if you are determined to obey my word, listen to what he says. He says, I will manifest myself to the. that individual. He says, listen, I'm going to disclose myself to you. If you love me and you keep my words, I'm going to show you that I love you. And what's going to happen is that I am going to manifest myself to you in a supernatural kind of way that you will be able to understand who I am, why I do what I do, and those on the outside who don't keep my commandments, who are not interested to follow me, are not going to have that opportunity of that privilege.

a determined obedience. So what do we have? If I'm going to be the kind of person God wants you to be, it begins with a divine inheritance. It blossoms in a disciplined reverence. It's balanced by determined obedience. Number four, it's beautified in a desert experience. It is beautified. in a desert experience. Maybe here tonight in your marriage is in the desert. It's dry. It's barren. It's cracking under the heat of the pressure. And you see no oasis in the horizon. Understand this. If you're going to be the right partner, your beauty will come because of the desert experience.

Why is that? I like what Tozer said. He said, it is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he's, first of all, hurt him deeply.

And that's true. God wants to bless your life. To do that, he's got to get you to a point will you throw all yourself upon him. And when does that happen? It happens in the desert experience. Listen to what the psalma said. Over in Psalm 119. Psalm 119, verse number 67, Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep thy word. Before I was afflicted, I did my own thing. I went astray. But now, now I keep your word. There's something about affliction. There's something about the desert experience.

There's something about the barrenness of life. There's something about the dry places in life. There's something about the places that begin to crack and crumble that God says, listen, you go there.

And what's going to happen is I'm going to teach you about me. I'm going to teach you about who I am. So you throw yourself on me, and I will sustain you. I will guard you. I will protect you. I will help you. And the Psalm says, now, now.

Now for the very first time I'm keeping the word of God. Now for the very first time God's word means more to me than ever before.

Why? Because now he knows he needs God's word to sustain him and to grow him that he might be the kind of person God wants him to be. Let me tell you something.

If you're in the desert this evening, if your marriage is in the tank, you say, God, I need you to teach me your word. Do you think God has your marriage in the desert for any other reason? than the fact that he is faithful? God's faithful. And if he is faithful, the psalmist knew, in faithfulness, thou hast afflicted me. God is so good that what he has done is placed me in a place that is so bad that until I throw myself upon him, there is no sustaining mercy and grace. That's what he has to do.

It's beautified in a desert. experience. Number five, it's battled against with a diabolical vengeance. To build towards spiritual maturity as a partner. To become the partner God wants you to be, it begins with a divine inheritance. And then it blossoms. It blossoms. in a disciplined reverence. It's balanced by determined obedience. It's beautified in the desert experience, but remember, it's battled with a diabolical vengeance. You set your mind on following God and obeying His Word. You set out to do what God asked you to do in all hell is going to break loose in your life and your marriage.

You got to be prepared. You've got to be prepared, number one, for the attack, number two, with the armor.

You know there's going to be attack. Satan goes about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, right? And if he can devour you, he will. If he can chew you up, he will. If he can spit you out, he will. So you've got to be armed in Ephesians 6, and we'll talk more about this in weeks down the road, that you must arm yourself with that spiritual armor. Why? because you're engaged in a battle. And winning the battle, half of us knowing that you're in one every single day. Most of us are living in defeat because we don't know we're in a battle.

We're at war. We're called soldiers in the Bible, man. We're soldiers for Christ. And if we're not armed properly, we'll lose. Take on that one offensive weapon, the sword of the spirit. We talked about that a couple of Sunday mornings ago. that offensive weapon, the sword of the spirit, the word of God, that dagger you use to defeat the wiles of the devil. Your marriage will be exactly, exactly what you make it to be. And what you make it to be depends upon thee.