God's Counsel for Couples, Part 10

Tonight we come to the 10th and final counsel for couples. We have spent the last nine weeks looking at what God's word says about marriage for couples and the elements that help us live in light of the word of God. And sadly, most marriages are struggling from day to day. They struggle with one another. They struggle with their own lives personally. They struggle with their home family. and nothing seems to go quite like you thought it would go. And yet you'll find every once in a while there's a couple, two or three or four or five couples, who have great excitement in their marriages.

You can tell by watching them, you can tell by looking at their interaction one with another. You observe them from a distance, and there's a party that says, boy, I wish our marriage was like that marriage. What is it that makes a difference in their life? that makes things different than your marriage. Tonight I want to talk to you a little bit about that journey. Because as we understand God's counsel for couples, we need to know that we are in a journey for the day we say I do until death do us part or to our Lord returns.

And we are to journey with the master. That's important. Because a lot of times in our life as married couples, we forget that. We forget that we're on a journey with the Lord Jesus Christ. We take things on ourselves, and we want to control the marriage, we want to control the things that happen in our lives, and yet it's a journey with the master. And when you journey with a master, you must journey with the master unquestionably and uncompromisingly. But for the most part, we journey with the master with all kinds of questions.

and we journey with the master compromisingly. There are certain things we'll do for him, there are certain things we won't do for him. And thus, that becomes a major hindrance in my relationship with my Lord, thus affecting my relationship with my spouse. Let me reiterate to you one more time that the key to your marriage is not another husband.

or another wife. The key of your marriage is you and your responsibility and relationship with the living God. So as you journey with the master, there are two parameters you must realize. You must journey with him unquestionably. We like to question God's commands. We like to question God's demands upon our life. You can't do that and experience intimacy with God and thus experience intimacy with the one you've united yourself with. And you can journey with the master and live a life of compromise.

And expect that journey to be a joyful journey. So how do we journey with the master unquestionably and uncompromisingly? Turn in your Bible, if you would, to the book of First Thessalonians.

I want to give you some principles this evening. That will help you understand that. First Thessalonians, Chapter 5.

I want to give you an admonition, then some clarification. The justification for that admonition, an examination of particularly one couple, and then a summation. That's where we're going. First of all, the admonition.

Here it is. First, Thessalon's 5, verse 16, 17, and 18. Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything, give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ, Jesus. Here's the admonition. It deals with an attitude, an attitude that characterizes the inner life, that's set forth in a triplet of commands. Rejoice, pray, and give thanks. Now, for most of us, that's not a problem. To rejoice, pray, and give thanks. We can do that. The problem comes when we are to pray without ceasing. The problem comes when we are to rejoice always.

And the problem comes when we are to give thanks in everything. That's when problems start to rise. Now, the amazing thing about this is that Paul just rattles off these commands. without giving any explanation as to why they need to do these things. Now that's important to note. Because as Paul likes of those in Dethranica, he says, this is what you need to do. Bang, bang, bang. Do you know why he doesn't give any explanation? It's because over in First Thessalonian chapter 2, verse number 13, it says this.

And for this reason, we also constantly, you thank God that when you receive from us the Word of God's message, you accepted it. Not as the Word of Men, but for what it really is, the Word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe. He says, when the Word of God came to you, you put out the welcome mat, and you received the Word. A lot of us don't put the Welcome Man out. we put the do not enter sign out not the welcome mat out and these people put out the welcome at and receive the word of God it's like what James said in James chapter 1 that we are to with humility receive the implanted word which is able to save your soul so with the admonition comes some clarification that's point number two let's give some clarification Number one is this.

You need to be joyful continually. You need to be joyful continually. Paul says rejoice always. Now, you have to understand that people Paul's writing to. If you have a home in Malibu, and you make $600,000 a year, of course, if you got a home of Malibu, you probably make $6 million a year. But let's say you make lots of money, you got a home in Malibu, you know, you got a wife who loves you, You got kids to love you. You say, rejoice always. You say, hey, no problem. I can rejoice. This is great, man, I can rejoice.

I got a great car. I got a great house. I got a great view of the beach. I got a great wife. And I got a great job. It is great. Yeah, I can rejoice always. That's not a problem. But this is not the condition of the Thessalonichans. Turn back with me the word to the first chapter.

Six verse. It says this. You also became imitators of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much what? tribulation with the joy of the Holy Spirit. And when you understand how it is we can rejoice always, how we can be joyful continually. So let me give you the two verses that Paul uses to help us understand how that's going to take place in your life.

Roman chapter 8, verse number 18. Turn there with me if you would, please. Romans 8, verse number 18. Paul says this, for consider that the sufferings of this present time we're not worthy to be compared with a groid that is to be revealed to us. Paul says, I want you to take a numerical calculation. I want you to consider something. It's a word that refers to reaching a subtle conclusion by careful study, by careful reasoning. Paul does not suggest, but strongly affirms that any time you suffer for Christ, sake, it's a small price to pay for the dividends you will reap in eternity.

So Paul says, listen, if you're going to be joyful continually, you need to calculate the temporal. Calculate the temporal. That is, you need to take a real hard look at your condition and your situation.

It's not going to last forever. Now, we think it is, right? We're in the midst of a difficult situation we think it's never going to end. We can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. We can't even see the tunnel because we think it's going to last forever. But you've got to realize something. Some of you are married to an unbeliever and they don't understand your commitment to Christ. Some of you are married to a professing believer and they can't understand why you want to give your time and energy to the church.

They can't understand why you want to give your money to the church. They don't grasp that. And you have conflict in your marriage because of those kinds of things. And we're talking about suffering for the sake of Christ. And that's the important thing. If you're going through difficulties because you are serving God and honoring God and things around you are falling apart, that's what Paul is talking about. Because you see, Paul was a man committed to serving God no matter what. Now, if you are suffering because of your own sin, Peter speaks about that in 1 Peter 2 in the 1st Peter chapter 4.

If you're suffering difficulty because of your own sin, that's your fault. But if you're suffering difficulty in hardship because of your commitment to Christ, you would calculate the temporal. Realize that's only for a certain amount of time. And Paul says, I have taken a careful consideration of what is happening around me, the sufferings of the present time. And they are not worthy to be compared to the glory that's going to be revealed in eternity. And Paul says, consider the temporal, calculate the temporal, study it, re-evaluate it.

It's only for a short time compared to eternity. You see, the problem is all we can see is what's around about us. That's all we get focused on. And that's what Satan wants you focused. See what you're focused right here, horizontally. He doesn't want you to set your affections on things above. He doesn't want you to look into God above. He doesn't want you to look into the heavenly. He wants you to see right here. Right here. And when he gets you focused here, he can get you to question God. He can get you to compromise, your walk with God.

And yet, you need to journey with the master unquestionably and uncompromisingly. To do that, you need to be joyful, continually. And the only way you can do that is if you calculate the temporal and number two, contemplate the internal.

Contemplate the eternal. Paul says back in second Corinthians chapter four, verse number 16, these words, therefore we do not lose heart.

But though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day, for momentary light of friction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. While we look not at the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen, for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. Listen, as Paul would go through life, everything for him was a hardship. He didn't have an easy street. People hated the man. They despised the man.

They wanted the man dead. Nobody liked him. You ever gone through life when nobody likes you? I mean, he got to the point. or the Christians in the Book of Acts didn't even want to accept him because it was former life. Here he was giving his life to Christ and all his unbelieving friends didn't want to have anything to do with them anymore. So here he is a new believer and none of the Christians wanted to have anything to do with them either because they were afraid that he was a phony and was going to kill him.

And even after he finally convinced him that God had done a saving work in his life, there were people who still didn't like him.

who sought to kill him, fall in prison, get rid of him. You ever been there? I don't think so. So Paul says, be joyful continually. He says, I am, and if I can be joyful continually, you can be joyful continually. Which is this is the point number three, and that is celebrate within the trial.

Celebrate within the trial. calculate the temporal. Calculate the temporal. And then contemplate the eternal in order that you might celebrate within the trial. That's a poll bit. Read 2nd Corinthians 12, verse number 10, when he would pray for God to remove him in the thorn in the flesh, and that he would say, you know, that within my weaknesses, God makes himself strong. wrong. Let me tell you something, my friend.

Within your weakest points, God wants to demonstrate his strength. Be joyful continually. Number two, be prayerful constantly.

Be prayerful constantly. Paul gives an admonition. This is some clarification. The Thessalonians didn't have any clarification. Paul didn't clarify things for them. I'm trying to clarify things for you this evening. Be joyful continually, be prayerful constantly. Pray without ceasing. Now, people say, well, what does that mean? I mean, I got to pray every moment of every day, all day, all night? No. You can't do that. Can't be driving down the highway, closing your eyes, and going for a throne of grace.

Okay? You're going to kill somebody. It might put you into heaven. That might be a good thing. But for them who doesn't know the Lord, it might not be a good thing. So you need to understand what it means to pray without ceasing. very important it deals with a reverential attitude not of the length of one's prayer or the petition being offered but dealing with one's consciousness as it is constantly heavenward focused on God communicating with God living in the light of his glorious presence, moment by moment, a life that is pervaded with the spirit of unceasing prayer.

To live in a spirit of constant communication with God. It was J.B. Lightfoot who said it is not in the moving ellipse, but in the elevation of the heart to God that the essence of prayer consists. It's a verse that speaks about living in the presence. of Almighty God, growing in your awareness of the fact that God is always with you. Take a project on for your life. Just write down on a piece of paper and ask yourself three questions. Today, did I rejoice always? Today, did I pray without ceasing?

Today, did I give thanks in everything and for everything? at the end of the day evaluate that sit down with your life and ask her okay did you rejoice always today was there something you didn't rejoice in let's talk about it how about this did you live in the light of God's presence today recognizing that he is with us he is with you and all that you say and do and when you went through today did you give thanks in everything if not why not what kept you from doing that in light of what God's word says but put in three the justification why does God say we got to do this you say well aren't you questioning God when you ask that yeah I am why God do me do this he tells us he says face simply this is my desire He says, look, 1st, L.

Testament 18. And everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you. This is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. This is what God wants you to do. This is his desire for you. this is will for you. People say, oh man, what's God's will for me? Here it is right here. Rejoice always, pray, thought, ceas, and everything give thanks. No, no, no, no, no. What does God want me to do? What's God's will for me? For my marriage, for my job, for my kids, what's God's will? Here it is. Rejoice always, pray without ceas, you can give thanks and everything.

You know what, you know what I'm saying. What and where does God want me to be? Don't worry about that stuff. that's all peripheral stuff. At the core of your being, rejoice always, pray with God Jesus and give thanks to God. That's God's will for your life. That's what God wants you to do. That's his iron for you. That's what he wants you to do. It was the admon of Hebrew who said, if the dove of Christian joy is continually to mount upward, it must fly on the wings of prayer and things. Thanksgiving.

That's true. This is God's will for you. This is God's desire. You know why? Because God's desire is your design. This is God's will concerning you. This is God's will for you. He says, I want assure you, and that's a likea, that all that happens in your life is designed specifically with you in mind. You see, we forget about that. Everything that you encountered today, you encountered because God's got you in mind. And having you in mind, he wants you to face certain obstacles. He wants you to face certain situations.

He wants you to go through certain difficulties in order that you might rejoice always, pray without cease you and give thanks to him. That's his will for you. Because he has your design in mind. He is looking to you to make you into something better than you are today. So tomorrow when people see you, they know that your Lord God is with you as Potipur knew that Joseph's God was with him. That should be where we want to be. I want my husband to know that God is with me. I want him to see that. I want my employer to know that God is with me.

I want those that I visit with every day to know that God is with me. To do that, I got to rejoice always. I got to pray without ceasing. I got to give thanks and everything because this is God's will concerning me. This is God's will for me. It's for my design. Everything that happens to me doesn't just happen. There are no accidents in life. No, everything's designed by God. He controls everything. Therefore, he has a perfect plan for me, specifically designed to shape me and mold me to the kind of person he wants me to be he.

The argument is not, you must do this, you must rejoice, you must pray, you must give thanks because God wills it. No. Knowing that God wills it, you can do it. See the difference? Knowing that this is God's will for you, that this is God's desire for you, you can do it. Do you think God's going to ask you something you can do without His grace and power and influence in your life? No. Not at all. God's got a plan. He gives you the power to perform it. Put him before an examination. I listed three couples there.

I'm not going to cover them tonight because of time, but I'm going to cover one couple. Mary and Joseph. See, Mary and Joseph knew what it meant to journey with the master unquestionably and uncompromisingly. Again, the story of Mary in the birth of Christ. Christ. You know, we read that story. That's a great story. I mean, how is she going to decline Gabriel? No, I don't want to care of the Messiah. Choose somebody else. Of course she's going to accept. But put yourself in Mary's toga or in Mary's sandals.

How is she going to explain this to her friends? Well, the Holy Spirit's going to come upon me and overshadow me and I'm going to be with child. Right, Mary. Come on. We know, Nazareth's not too far from one of the Roman colonies, and I know you probably had some kind of escapade one night when Joseph wasn't around, right, Mary? That's what happened. How's you going to explain to Joseph? Joseph, I'm pregnant. What? How can that be? we haven't been together how can you be praying? You were somebody else weren't you Mary?

No Joseph I wasn't seriously I'm the Holy Spirit's going to cut See in Matthew 1 Joseph doubted He was going to put her away privately He was going to divorce her Because she was pregnant Until the angel came and said hey Joseph I got news for you buddy This is how it really happened and then Mary when she goes later on and after she has a child and will Simeon say your soul is going to be pierced through until the end your whole life's going to be a turmoil Mary oh sure you're birth the Messiah but let me tell you something it is going to be havoc on you and your family from this day until the end you've got to think about a little bit to understand the situation with Mary and Joseph.

It wasn't as easy as we think it is when we read the Christmas story. But know what the Bible says about Mary?

It says very clearly. She said, be it done to me according to your word. And Elizabeth said, and blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what the Lord had spoken to her by the Lord. She married didn't compromise the word of the Lord. She didn't question the word of the Lord She wanted to journey with the master Unquestionably and uncompromisingly And so when Joseph was a little afraid of what was going to happen And wanted to put away privately It says over in Matthew chapter 1 But when he considered this Behold that angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream Saying Joseph, Son of David, do not be afraid to take marriage your life.

For that which has been conceived in her is that the Holy Spirit and she will bear a son And you will call his name Jesus For his He will save his people from the sins. Verse 24, and Joseph arose from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took her as his wife and kept her a virgin until she gave birth to her son and he called his name Jesus. Joseph was not going to compromise the word of the Lord. In his summation, let me just read to you these verses, Philippians chapter 4.

Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice. Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men for the Lord is near. And be anxious for nothing. But in everything by prayer and supplication with this giving, let your request you may know unto God, and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. That's what it is. That's God's counsel for couples. I trust that God has spoken to you, and God will use His word to strengthen.