God's Counsel for Couples, Part 1

We're going to look for the next couple of weeks at God's counsel for couples. We've already looked at God's hope for your home, and we've looked at God's exam for engagement and God's meaning for marriage and God's value and vows. This evening, though, we're going to begin a little longer discussion concerning God's counsel for couples. And the counsel he gives is such biblical truth that it goes across the board for every individual to help them understand exactly what God has for their lives. You can look at them as the ABCs of marriage.

You won't find them in your local bookstore. You won't find them in your little video bookstore. You won't find them in some Christian manual someplace. You'll only find them in the Word of God because that's where the principles are laid forth. And so we need to be able to see what God says concerning marriage and its magnificence.

as we begin this evening by looking at the first building block of making sure that we understand what God wants our marriages to be like.

And the very first one is this. We need to acknowledge the divine priority. God's counsel to couples begins with acknowledging God as the divine priority in their lives. If this does not happen, your marriage will be anything but magnificent. It won't be what God wants it to be. God needs to be not only the authority in your life, but the priority in your life. And so therefore, your marriage needs to focus around acknowledging God as that supreme, as that divine priority. We're going to look at a chapter in the Bible this evening.

It's in Deuteronomy chapter 6. I would invite you to turn there with me if you would, please. In this chapter, you're going to see several things that we have already covered to some degree and bring them into a clearer focus for you that you might understand more of God's plan for your marriage. But the book of Deuteronomy is literally called the Second Law.

It's like the reiteration of what God has already said. The nation of Israel is about to embark on the land of Canaan, the promised land. And Moses' last words are to the nation of Israel are recorded in the book of Deuteronomy. It's almost like, you know, your team's about to ready to take the feet. for battle and you want to give them one last pep talk, one more boost of energy, one more word to make sure that they know exactly what they're supposed to be doing before they actually go onto the field.

This is what Moses does in the book of Deuteronomy. It's a book of repetition of what has previously been revealed to underscore their importance. You do this all the time with your children. You constantly repeat yourself because you want them to understand the assessment. essential aspects of the family. You want them to understand those things that are important. So you reiterate them. You repeat them. Sometimes we repeat them and nobody's listening. But needless to say, we still repeat them. Sometimes I think that's the way God feels.

He keeps repeating things and says, I wonder if anybody's listening. In fact, God used to say things to people all the time. And finally, he put them in a book so we could read them because we stopped listening.

So he thought maybe we'd do better at reading than we would be at listening. So he wants us to understand exactly what he has for us. And so as Moses gives this second law, in fact, the Ten Commandments are reiterated in Chapter 5 of Deuteronomy from Exodus chapter 20, because he wants them to understand what God's law actually says.

The nation of Israel was about to invade a culture. A pagan culture had no idea of a holy God, had no idea of the creator of the universe. And so the words he would give to the nation of Israel, to the fathers, to the mothers, to the husbands, to the wives, to the children, would help them understand their responsibility in that pagan society. So in order for your family to be effective in West Covina, San Demas, Laverne, Fontana, Los Angeles, wherever it is you live, in order for your family to be successful in Southern California, you must know Deuteronomy 6 inside and out.

you must be able to understand it because we live in a pagan society and God expects our families to be a certain way in that society and it all centers around God and acknowledging him as number one the divine priority in your life when you do that God says I guarantee two things I guarantee not only your survival in that society but I will guarantee your success in that society So we need to understand what God says.

If he's going to guarantee hope for our home, then we need to make sure we clearly see what he says. The book of Deuteronomy is the book of transition. The nation of Israel is transitioning to a new generation. As you recall, it had been 40 years, and at that time of wandering, and at that time God had said that everybody over the age of 20 was going to die in the wilderness. So now we have a new generation that has come up. We have young girls now who are mothers. They have their children. We have young men who are now fathers.

They are soldiers. They are farmers. They are older men now. This is a whole new generation. And so there's been a transition from one generation that rebelled against God. and refused to listen to him 40 years earlier and go into the promised land to their children, now parents, having their own children, about to enter the land that God had promised. Moses knew that God's answer to the turmoil and chaos of a pagan culture was the family. He knew that. And so he explains to them, in Didonomy, Chapter 6, exactly what their responsibilities are.

We will look at three main points this evening. We will look at, number one, the way we acknowledge God as the divine priority.

We will look at the warning of not acknowledging God as the divine priority, and then we will look at the warranty once you do acknowledge him as the divine priority.

Doelotomy chapter 6, verse number 1. Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord your God to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I commanded you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. Moses tells them at the very outset, this is how you're going to have a long life.

This is for you, for your son, for your grandsons. This is what you need to know. This is the cornerstone of the family. This is what makes a family a great family. This is what makes a marriage, a magnificent marriage. This is what makes a couple. what God wants them to be. Here it is. O Israel, you should listen.

We'll stop right there. You should listen. The very first way you acknowledge God as the divine priority is that you listen intently to God.

You listen intently to God. Israel, you need to listen. You need to hear. He says down in verse number four, Hear, oh, Israel, the great Shemah, that the Orthodox Jew quotes every single day, even today. Along with, of course, Deuteronomy 11, verses 13 to 21, and Numbers 15, 37 to 41. It's called the great Shabh. Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God is one. And you shall love the Lord of God with all your soul, with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength. It's quoted over again in the New Testament.

But Moses says, number one, listen. Now I want to spend a few moments here because I think we have a problem listening to God. Let me give you an example over in Proverbs chapter 8.

it says this. Proverbs 8, verse number 32. Now therefore, O sons, listen to me. For blessed are they who keep my ways. He'd instruction and be wise and do not neglect it. Blessed is a man who listens to me watching daily at my gates, waiting at my doorposts. For he who finds me, finds life, and obtains favor from the Lord. But he who sins against me, injures himself. All those who hate me love death. Listen intently to God. There's something about anxiously waiting for God to speak, watching daily at my gate, waiting at my doorpost.

That's the blessed man. That's the man who wants to listen to me. It's almost like you can't wait to get to church, So you get here at 7 o'clock in the morning, even though it's cold outside, and you're waiting to get inside, and you're going to wait through the doors open because you can't wait to hear what God has to say in his word that day. I just can't wait. So you're going to watch, and you're going to wait, and when the door's open, bang, you're going to get in there because you want to hear what God has to say.

Listen to Psalm 81. Psalm 81, verse number 8. Hear, oh, my people, and I will admonish you. Oh, Israel, if you would listen to me, me let there be no strange God among you nor shall you worship any foreign God I the Lord and your God who brought you up from the land of Egypt open your mouth wide and I will fill it you think okay that's pretty good right I brought you out of bondage I brought you out of slavery you open your mouth wide I'm gonna fill it listen to me I'm going to admonish you listen to me I'm going to teach you listen to me I'm going to bless you verse 11 but talk about it Sunday those butologies in scripture but my people did not listen to my voice and Israel did not obey me so I gave them over to the stubbornness of their heart to walk in their own devices oh that my people would listen to me that Israel would walk in my ways I would quickly subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their adversaries and those who hate the Lord would pretend obedience to him and their time of punishment would be forever.

But I would feed you with the finest of the wheat. And with honey from the rock, I would satisfy you. God says, I want to satisfy you.

I want to take your enemies, and I want to move your enemies away from you. I want to take care of all your adversaries. I want to feed you with the finest of the wheat. I want to satisfy your life. But if you don't listen to me, I am not going to do that. Listen intently to God. That's why Christ said at the end of each letter in Revelation 2 and 3, the letter to the seven churches. He said what? He who has ears to hear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. Listen to what God has to say.

Could it be that there are so many problems in our marriages because we are unwilling to listen to what God has to say about our lives? Listen intently to God. Number two, Moses says, oh, Israel, you should listen.

And be careful. And be careful. In other words, not only should we listen intently to God, but we should learn intensely from God. Be careful. be careful in other words be careful what you learn be careful who you learn it from be careful where you go to church be careful what book you read be careful what you're listening to because you've got to learn you've got to learn intensely from God you've got to be one who not only is willing to listen but willing to learn about what you're hearing, that you might apply it to your life.

Very important. God said something very similar to Joshua in Joshua chapter 1, verse number 8, when he said, only be strong and very courageous, be careful, Joshua, to do all the law, which Moses, my servant commanded you, Do not turn to the right nor to the left. Be careful. Why? Because there's a lot of people out there seeing a lot of different things about your marriages. There's a lot of people out there saying a lot of different things about your family. A lot of things. You know, I have a library full of books about family and marriage.

I have a library full of books about what people say about the church and church growth and what you should do in your church, you know. and yet very few of them acknowledge God as the divine priority in their lives. When you acknowledge God as a divine priority, you are bound and determined to learn exactly what he says. Number three, Moses says this, oh, Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it.

live intentionally for God. If you acknowledge God as the divine priority, not only do you listen intently and learn intensely, but you live intentionally for God. Your whole life is set to one agenda to live for God. Listen, O Israel, be careful to do it. You've got to do what God says.

You have to live what God says. You have to be what God says. That's very important. Do it. The way you know that you have listened and learned is seen in how you live. Right? If you live in a way that's contrary to the Word of God, we can effectually say you either didn't listen, or you didn't learn because you're not living the way God has said you need to live. Be careful to do it. If you don't believe God, you won't practice and live what he says. If you go down unto verse number six, it says this, and these words which I am commended you today shall be on your heart.

And you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead, and you shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates. Let me give you a hint.

If you live intentionally for God, you will teach God diligently, you will talk of God decidedly, and you will think on God drastically. That's what Moses says in verses 6 to 8. And that's what it means to acknowledge God as the divine priority. And then fourthly, love incessantly your God. Verse number four. He or Israel, the Lord our God is, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one, and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. You need to circle the word all.

It's repeated over and over again. It speaks of totality. not something that's partial, not something that's casual. It speaks of intensity. It speaks of unquestionable fervency. It speaks of wholeheartedness. God demands wholehearted devotion. So you love him with all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your mind, with everything that you have. God wants it all. The girl's singing about earlier tonight. I surrender all. God wants it all. He wants some of you. He wants all of you. He wants you He wants you to be devoted to him.

With all your heart. Jesus spoke of those in Matthew 158 who say there are those who honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. You met those kind of people? They can say all kinds of things in the church, for you, right? They can say all kind of things in the church. They can talk about God and they can quote some verses, but their hearts are far from Him. They can speak the words of God, but they don't want to live for God. They don't love Him with their whole heart. A sincere burning passion.

Let me ask you a question. Do you love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? That's what a biblical family does. toward their God. And therefore we understand the way to acknowledge God as a divine priority is to love incessantly our God. To live intentionally for God. To learn intensely our God and to listen intently to our God. That's what all begins. That's the way we do that. Then comes warning. Let me give it to you.

In verse 10, then it should come about when the Lord your God brings you into the land which you swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give to you great and splendid cities which you do not build, houses full of good things which you do not fill, and huge cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you do not plant, and you shall eat and be satisfied. God says this is what's going to happen.

you're going to live in a house that's completely furnished you're going to be able to drink for a well that's that's already been dug and full of water I mean you're going to have a vineyard you're going to have olive trees it's already going to be planted it's already there it's all yours and you're going to eat and you're going to drink and you're going to be satisfied here comes the warning then watch yourself lest you forget the Lord who brought you from the land of Egypt out of the house of slavery.

Here's the warning. Number one, watch yourself. Watch out. Lest you forget God. Boy, I tell you, we live at a time where we very rarely remember what God has done. Watch yourself lest you forget. when you dwell with those who worship the God of prestige, the God of power, the God of pleasure, the God of possession, don't get caught up with them so they steal your affection. When you go to the land where I'm going to give you everything you need, you be careful. You watch yourself, lest you forget your God.

number two and worship him he says this watch yourself let you forget the Lord who brought you from the land of Egypt out of the house of slavery you shall fear only the Lord your God and you shall worship him and swear by his name you shall not follow other gods any of the gods of the peoples who surround you for the Lord your God in the midst of you is a jealous God otherwise the anger of the Lord your God will be kindled against you and he will wipe you off the face of the earth.

God says, worship me, adore me, fear me. That's what I want. It's all I ask for. I am a jealous God. And I don't want to share you with anybody else. I don't want to share you with another company. I don't want to share you with another religion. I don't want to show you with anything else. I want you all for me. I created you to give glory to me. I want to have it all. For I am a jealous God. Let me give you a principle here.

God wants first place. He wants nothing else. So remember this. Your devotion guides your affection. Your affection. your affection governs your direction and your direction will give way to either maturation or deterioration let me say to you again your devotion whatever you devoted to your devotion guides your affection and that affection will govern your direction and that direction will either be toward maturation, growth, spiritual maturity, or deterioration.

So the bottom line is, whatever you're devoted to is the way you're going to go. That's why Christ said you can't serve two masters. You can only serve one. And if you're not serving me, maturation is not the end result, but deterioration is. If you're serving me, you're going to grow toward me. You're going to live like me. You're going to be like me. That's the end result. But you need to worship me. You need to fear me because I am a jealous God. He says, my anger will be kindled against you. It will happen.

And I will wipe you out the face of the earth. I will do that because I want you for myself. That's the warning. Here's the warranty. Verse number 24. He says this. So the Lord God, the Lord, excuse me, commanded us to observe all these statutes to fear the Lord our God for our good always and for our survival as it is today. There's God's guarantee. success and survival. There it is. God guarantees it. He says, the Lord commanded us to observe all these statutes. Not some of them. Not the ones we like.

But even the ones we don't like. To observe all his statutes. To fear the Lord our God. Why? Because it will be for our good always. It will be for our success. and it will be for our survival. That's God's counsel for couples. That's what all begins. That's the first step.

Oh, there are other building blocks, but that's number one. And everything comes back down to this one right here. Doodotanomy chapter 6. If this one is out of whack, then the whole thing comes crumbling down. God has to be your priority. That's where it began.