Forgive Freely, Faithfully, Fully, Forever - Part 1

Tonight, we're gonna cover the sixth point of the 26 points we're going to cover between now and the end of May, okay? This is point number six. It simply is this. If you're going to have a marriage that honors the Lord, you must forgive freely, fully, faithfully, and forever. Now, if you understand the first five points, okay, if you understand that you need to acknowledge Christ as Lord of all, if you understand that you need to build intimacy through biblical love, if you understand that you need to commit yourself to growing spiritually, that you need to declare your love for a lifetime and embrace your marriage wholeheartedly, if you understand those five and you're pursuing those five, number six becomes easier.

If you're not doing those five, number six is impossible. So you need to understand that from the get-go. If you're not growing spiritually, you're not gonna forgive anybody. You don't wanna forgive anybody. If you don't acknowledge Christ as Lord of your life, you're not gonna forgive anybody. You just can't. And so these things must be prominent in your life in order for you to forgive freely, fully, faithfully, and ultimately forever. Why? Because forgiveness is not optional. It's absolutely essential.

For the Christian, we don't have an option. The choice is always to forgive. In fact, it was Lord Herbert who said these words. He said, he who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself. Joseph had two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim. If there's anybody in the scriptures that personifies what it means to forgive, it's Joseph. Joseph sold to slavery by his brothers who hated him. Sold to the Ishmaelites. Went off to Egypt, was lied about, imprisoned. But he had two sons that characterized what God had done in his life, Manasseh and Ephraim.

Manasseh's name means God has caused me to forget. Ephraim's name means God has caused me to be fruitful. And those two boys define Joseph's life and ministry. And it defines your life in ministry as well. Because unless you're able to forget your past, you'll never be fruitful in your present. And that was Joseph. Joseph was able to forget his past, so much so that he was doubly fruitful in the present. If you cannot forget your past, you will be unfruitful in the present, not fruitful in the present.

You say, well, I can't forget my past. Well, Joseph never forgot what his brothers did. He never forgot how angry his brothers were with him. He never forgot that they threw him in a pit and sold him to the Ishmaelites. He never forgot what Potiphar's wife did to him. He never forgot about how the cupbearer forgot about him and left him in prison. He never forgot about any of that stuff. So what did he forget? He forgot all the pain associated with those things because God was at work in his life.

And because he forgot that particular aspect of it, God made him fruitful in the present. That's what God wants to do in your life and my life. And yet so many times we get so bogged down with our past and we are unfruitful in the present. Joseph was a man who was incredibly fruitful. The Bible says in the book of Proverbs, the 19th chapter, the discretion of a man defers his anger and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

It's the glory of a man that causes him to pass over a transgression. In fact, man is most beautiful. Man is at his best when he passes over a transgression because man is most like beasts when he kills. He's most like man when he judges, but he's most like God when he forgives. And therefore we must understand what the Bible says concerning forgiveness.

The Bible says that we are to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

I wonder tonight if you're the kind of person who freely and fully forgives, or are you like those who love to hold on to your past? You love to keep records of wrongdoings. How do you know you have an unforgiving spirit? Well, let me give you a few suggestions.

You have an unforgiving spirit when you can't stand to be around certain people. That's an unforgiving spirit. There's something bitter in your soul that keeps you from wanting to hang around certain people. Another way is that you wanna strike out at people when certain topics are brought up or discussed. There's a pretty good chance you have an unforgiving spirit. When you lose your temper over the little things, chances are you have an unforgiving spirit. You struggle with guilt over things that happened in the past.

Chances are you have an unforgiving spirit. You find yourself hating the ones you should love the most. Good chance you have an unforgiving spirit. So what do we do? Remember the words of our Lord as he hung on Calvary's tree? When he said, Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. That word from the cross is so powerful because it helps us understand the character and nature of our God. Our God is a forgiving God. Now, the important thing about the statement is that that statement did not forgive anybody on the mountain because in order for them to receive forgiveness, they would have to repent of their sins because forgiveness is conditional.

Love is unconditional, but forgiveness is conditional. I've said this many times that if forgiveness is unconditional, everybody goes to heaven, everybody. If God's gonna forgive everybody carte blanche, then everybody goes to heaven, but forgiveness is conditioned. But what Christ did was show you the spirit of forgiveness. And the spirit of forgiveness is a willingness and eagerness to forgive the sinner. That was our Lord. In fact, the Bible says these words in Psalm 86, verse number five, thou, O Lord, are good and ready to forgive.

That's a great statement. Lord, you're ready to forgive. He is. He's always ready to forgive because he's a forgiving kind of God. Psalm 103, bless the Lord, O my soul, in all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of his benefits. The very first one he lists, who pardons all your iniquities.

Daniel nine, verse number nine, forgiveness belongs to God. Over in Psalm 34, remember when Moses had asked to see the Lord and to see his glory? And God said to him, I'm gonna let all my goodness pass before you. I can't let you see me and live because I'm gonna have to incinerate you because my glory is all about the, not just my beauty, but my brightness that if you see my glory, you're dead. But I'll let my glory, my hinds part, my afterglow pass before you. And he proclaims to him this phrase.

He says, then the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, the Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness and truth who keeps loving kindness for thousands who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin. Moses needed to know that our God is a forgiving God. He's a gracious God. He's a good God. And that phrase is quoted 27 times in the Old Testament by various authors. Why? Because it's a keynote phrase that describes God to his people because God was always in the business of being gracious and kind and forgiving his people Israel.

Yes, it goes on to say that he visits the iniquity of the fathers upon the third and fourth generation.

That's because the consequences of sin continues on. That's why you need to seek the Lord's forgiveness. And yet so many times we forget how gracious our God is when it comes to his forgiveness. So as Christ hung on the cross, he said, father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing to show you the spirit of forgiveness because behind the Lord is all of this great eagerness to forgive sinners. Takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked. And therefore, because we, according to 2 Peter 1.4 are partakers of the divine nature.

We by nature are forgiving kind of people. So if you by nature are not a forgiving kind of person, it could be that you're not a partaker of the divine nature. You might not even be saved at all because forgiveness is part of the nature of God. And we are partakers of that divine nature. Therefore we become a forgiving kind of people that marks us out from the unbelieving world. We're at our best when forgiveness is at stake. The Lord on Calvary's cross, bloodied and beaten beyond recognition, knowing that he was dying and bearing the sins of man extended forgiveness to all those who would repent.

But the spirit behind his statement is the spirit of forgiveness. There's gonna be many people that never asked for forgiveness. Joseph's brothers never asked for forgiveness, but they were forgiven by Joseph. Joseph's brothers never repented of their sins. Never came to Joseph and said, you know what, Joseph, we were wrong. We got it all wrong. We should have been bowing down to you from the very beginning. You had it right, we were wrong. Please forgive us. They never did. But Joseph was more than willing to forgive his brothers because of the spirit of forgiveness.

And that's the way we should be. If you have to wait for someone to repent before you forgive them, you might be waiting till the Lord comes again because they might not ever repent. And true, that if they don't ask for forgiveness, the relationship cannot fully be restored, cannot be fully reconciled. But the spirit of forgiveness depends upon you as an individual to be willing and eager and desirous to forgive simply because you've been forgiven. So let me talk to you about forgiveness.

Forgiveness, number one, is exhorted in Scripture. Forgiveness is exhorted in Scripture. In other words, it's an exhortation. God never says, you know what, if you feel like forgiving your spouse, go ahead. But if you don't, that's okay too. He never says that. In fact, we are never in the right to withhold forgiveness from anybody. We're always in the wrong. Read to you earlier, Ephesians 4.32. Ephesians 4.31 says this, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Be kind to one another. Tend to heart of forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Gotta put away all those things that are a hindrance to a forgiving spirit. And then Colossians chapter three, Colossians chapter three, verse number 13 says this, verse 12, so as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other. Whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. To the unbeliever, that sounds ridiculous. They don't get that. In fact, even to some believers, it sounds ridiculous. So think about it this way. Luke's gospel, chapter seven. Is that where I wanna be? No, that's not where I wanna be. I'm sorry. It's Luke 17. Luke chapter 17. In Luke chapter 17, Peter, or Christ, is with his disciples. Verse number one, he says to the disciples, it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come.

You're gonna be caused to stumble inevitably. Those things happen. But woe to him through whom they come. It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown to the sea than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble. Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day and returns to you seven times saying, I repent, forgive him. Other words, forgiveness is to be limitless, not limited.

So let's think of this in terms of a 24-hour day and you sleeping eight hours a day. That means that every two hours and 15 minutes, your brother sins against you during the time that you're awake. Christ says, if he comes to you and repents, forgive him.

So it says in verse five, the apostle said to the Lord, increase our faith. We can't do that. We need more faith. And the Lord said, if you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, be uprooted and be planted in the sea, and it would obey you. In other words, faith is not your problem. Faith is not the issue. You have all the faith you're ever going to receive because faith is believing in what God has already said. You don't need more faith. You simply just need to obey what I said.

So he says in verse number seven, which of you having a slave, plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, come immediately and sit down to eat. But will he not say to him, prepare something for me to eat and properly clothe yourself and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterwards you may eat and drink. He does not thank the slave because he did the things which were commanded, does he? So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, we are unworthy slaves.

We have done only that which we ought to have done. What Christ says is, he gives a very modern day parable.

When a slave comes in from work, the master doesn't say to the slave, hey, you know, you had a long day, man. It's been a tough day. It's hot out there in the sun. You know what? Why don't you take your shoes off or your sandals? I'll draw a warm bath for you. You can sit in the tub and I'll make you dinner. The master never says that. What does the master say? I don't care how long your day's been. I don't care how hot you are. I don't care how smelly you are. You make dinner, you draw my bath, and when I have eaten and when I have drank and when I have bathed, now you can take care of yourself, but you do what I tell you to do.

Why is that? Because that's the master-slave relationship. It's how it works. So Christ says very easily, he doesn't thank the slave because of these things.

He didn't say, you know what? Thank you for fixing my dinner. Thank you for drawing my bath. Thank you for giving me something to drink. Thank you for letting me be first and you be second.

No, the master doesn't say that. He never says that. And then Jesus says, so you too, because I'm the master and you're the slave.

So when you've done that which is your duty to do, which is what? To forgive your brother? Guess what? You are still an unprofitable servant. You get no kudos for forgiveness. You get no rewards for being a forgiving kind of person. Because I'm the master, you're the slave. You just need to obey what I say. That's all you have to do. And if you obey what I say, you're still an unprofitable slave. Now think about that. See, we wanna give people all these kudos for being a forgiving kind of people.

Why? It's a command by God to his servants. You forgive. He repents, you forgive. But what if he doesn't mean it? Christ never said if he means it, forgive him. Because if he does it seven times in a day, he's probably not very repentant, right? He's not very sorry for what he's done. He doesn't really care that much about you. But if he says it, you forgive him. So go to Matthew 18. Go to Matthew 18. In verse number 15, it says, if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private. If he listens to you, you've won your brother.

But if he doesn't listen to you, take one or two more with you so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven. And whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. And again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it should be done for them by my Father who is in heaven.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in their midst. Then Peter came and said to him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Now, where did he get that from? Luke's account. That story's already happened. So my brother sins against me, how many times do I forgive him? It's seven times the limit. And he missed the whole point of Luke 17. So Jesus says, I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to 70 times seven.

Saying 24 hour a day, you're still sleeping eight hours a day. That leaves you with 16 other hours. Instead of sitting against you every two hours and 15 minutes, he sits against you every 1.9 minutes. It's not that you're counting the times, you're saying that forgiveness is limitless. There is no limit on forgiveness. You see, we wanna limit it. We wanna say, you know what? You've done this so many times, it's over, it's done, no more forgiveness. And God says, wait a minute, forgiveness is limitless.

So he drives it home by giving a parable. For this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wishes to settle accounts with the slaves. When he began to settle them, one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and children and all that he had and a repayment to be made. He had an incalculable debt, could not be paid. And even if he sold everything he had and himself and his family, it still would not even touch the debt that he had.

So the slave fell to the ground, prostrated himself before him saying, have patience with me and I will repay you everything. And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii. Now a denarii is a day's wage. So he owed him a hundred days wages. And he seized him and began to choke him saying, pay back what you owe. So the fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him saying, have patience with me and I will repay you.

But he was unwilling and went through him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to the Lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his Lord said to him, you wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave in the same way that I had mercy on you? And the Lord was moved with anger. And his Lord moved with anger, handed him over to torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.

And Christ says, my heavenly father will also do the same to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.

In other words, because you've been forgiven so much, you have an incalculable debt. There is never a reason for you not to forgive someone else their sin, but to hold it against them and make them repay you is wrong. So he turned him over to the torturers. Same word used in Luke chapter 16 to describe the man in Hades who was suffering in agony. He was being tortured. Same word used in second Peter two verse number eight where Lot's soul was tormented day and night while living in Sodom.

Same word used in Matthew chapter eight verse number six, which speaks to the centurion's servant who was suffering great pain. See the parable ends, but the statement's made at the end of the parable. So too will my heavenly father do to you. What will your heavenly father do to you? He will chasten you. And that chastening comes to all kinds of turmoil, pain and agony. So much so that it eats away at your soul until you're able to forgive your brother his trespass against you. You see forgiveness is exhorted in scripture.

It's a command given to us by God, the master of our lives that says you are to be a forgiver because you are a partaker of the divine nature. You have been forgiven so much and incalculable debt. You could never pay it. You would die in your sins, but because you've been forgiven, you have no right to withhold forgiveness from anyone else ever. That's what he says. And everybody has an excuse. Everybody has a reason. Well, my story is different than everybody else's story. That my circumstances are worse than everybody else's circumstance.

That nobody's seen the trouble I've seen. That nobody's had to face what I've had to face. And God cannot expect me to be a forgiving kind of person when I have been treated the way I've been treated. Really? That's like saying to God, I've always treated you well, Lord. When in reality you haven't because you were a sinner, enslaved to Satan, a rebellious person against almighty God. And yet he forgave you all of your sins and took up residence in your heart and your soul so that that love of God that's shed abroad in your heart can now be manifested to those who so desperately need to experience the forgiveness that you've experienced.

So forgiveness is exhorted and forgiveness having been exhorted is always explained. It's always explained. Remember Matthew chapter six. You know the verse in Matthew chapter six about the Lord's prayer or the disciples prayer, excuse me. Lord's prayers in John 17. Disciples prayer, which says in verse number 11, give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts, verse 12, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Forgive us as we have forgiven our debtors. That's a weird way of stating it. But Christ remember only has one commentary on his prayer.

Only one. And the commentary is on this aspect of the prayer. For in verse 14, he says, for if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your father will not forgive your transgressions. So the question comes, how does a believer have unforgiven sins? How can that possibly be? If all my sins are forgiven past, present and future, all my sins are taken care of at Calvary and Christ has forgiven me every one of my sins.

How then can I have unforgiving sins with my God? Because he makes a commentary. If you forgive your brother, your father will forgive you your sins. But if perchance you decide not to forgive your brother, neither will my heavenly father forgive you your trespasses. Well, how could that be? Well, say it this way. Nobody can have unforgiving sins in a positional sense. Nobody can. Because positionally we're in Christ. Positionally we're clothed with his righteousness. Positionally when God looks down upon us, he sees us clothed in Christ's righteousness.

He does not see our sin. And he sees the righteousness of Christ. And that's there because we have been forgiven of all of our sins. So positionally, you cannot have unforgiven sins, but parentally, relationally, you can have unforgiven sins. How could that be? Simply because there is a separation between you and your God. That is, you have lost something. You can't have unforgiven sins in a positional sense, but you can have unforgiven sins in a parental sense because the relationship with your God has been marred.

Not by him, but by you. Psalm 66, 18, if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me. What did David say? Restore to me the joy of my salvation. You see, when you live in sin and you don't forgive your brother, you have broken fellowship and communion with your God. It's your sin that has stood in the way. It's like when you have your children, right? You are more than willing to forgive your children for whatever they do, because you're their parent. You love them. They're your offspring.

So you're more than willing to forgive them because you love them so. But if they never come to you and they ask for forgiveness and repent of their sins, there's a breach in the relationship. Not because of you, but because of them. They don't want the restoration. They don't want the reconciliation or they want it without repentance. But when they come and they cry and they say, I was wrong, would you please forgive me? That's fellowship and communion restored. It's not that you don't want it restored, you do as their parents.

So badly you do. But until they come and they ask for forgiveness, they have in the biblical sense, unforgiven sins. In a parental sense, in a relational sense, not in a positional sense. That's the best way to explain it this side of eternity. So we have forgiven sins positionally because we are saved by Christ. But he makes sure that he puts a commentary on the disciples prayer to make sure they get it. Because he just says, forgive us our debts as we forgive those who trespass against us. They're probably thinking, how do I do that?

So he tells them, if you forgive your brother's trespasses, your heavenly father forgives you your trespasses. But if you're unwilling to forgive your brother, neither will your heavenly father forgive you. Not because you're unforgiven in a positional sense, but because you've lost the intimacy, the joy, the fellowship, the communion that was there when there was no barrier between you and God because of your sin. But an unforgiving spirit is a bitter spirit. Unforgiving spirit is an angry spirit.

An unforgiving spirit is a vengeful spirit. And those things drive a wedge between you and your relationship with the living God. That is just so important for us to understand. That's why Christ says these words in Luke chapter seven.

He says, treat others the same way you want them to treat you. Verse number 32, if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. In other words, don't think you're just this great person because you love your friends or you lend to your friends or you do good to your friends.

Every sinner does that. He says, but love your enemies. Do good and lend expecting nothing in return and your reward will be great and you will be sons of the most high for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful just as your father is merciful. In other words, if you wanna set yourself apart from the unbelieving world, you love your enemies. You do good to those who treat you unjustly. You lend to those who can't repay you back. And now you set yourself apart from the world because you show yourself a son of the most high God.

And don't you wanna do that? Don't you wanna be that light in your family, to your friends? We're barking on this whole season of Thanksgiving and Christmas and you're gonna get together with your family and every one of us has family members that we're like, we're not too fond of. We're more fond of our friends than we are our family members. But you gotta get together with them at the holidays because that's what you do. Do you extend forgiveness? The right hand of fellowship? Do you take the initiative to go to them and talk to them?

And say, hey, I've had this grudge against you and you know what, it's just so uncalled for. And I was wrong, would you please forgive me? I wanna get things right. I wanna do the right thing. I want us to be the kind of family that the Lord would have us be. And really seek to be the person God wants you to be. Our God is a forgiving God. Our God has forgiven us all of our sin. So many times we have forgotten how wretched we are. And yet God forgave us. Now, there'll be many times that people never ask for forgiveness.

They never repent of their sins. I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about a forgiving spirit. That's more than willing and eager and desirous to forgive. Because that's what you wanna do. So you have a forgiving spirit already. So the relationship not being what it needs to be is not on your part, it's on their part. There can't be a restoration and a reconciliation fully because the relationship's been broken. Not by you, but by them. You are more than willing to forgive. You want to forgive.

Like our Lord, you are eager to forgive. And yet, they don't want to. Well, you still exemplify a forgiving kind of relationship. You still have a forgiving spirit. Because that's what Christ has asked you to do. Forgiveness is exemplified in Stephen, Acts 7. He's being stoned. He asked the Lord not to hold this charge against them. He had a forgiving spirit to those who stoned him and killed him. Joseph had a forgiving spirit towards his brothers even though they never asked for forgiveness. David, with Shimei, over in 2 Samuel 16, when his commander wanted to kill Shimei for the cursing of David, David said, no, let him be.

He had a forgiving spirit. I wonder if you would be counted among those kind of people, even Paul, the last of his life, with Alexander the coppersmith, knew they had to forgive him for how he came against Paul as minister. Because he had a forgiving spirit. Do you have that kind of spirit? It's so important. My prayer for you this Christmas season is that you would exemplify forgiveness. Now, if you've never experienced forgiveness, none of this makes any sense to you. In fact, what I've said to you has probably irritated you.

But if you've experienced forgiveness, the scriptures will speak for themselves. And you come under conviction that says, you know what, I need to be a forgiving kind of people. I need to exemplify this in my family, first and foremost.

And to be able to say, I forgive you. You see, delight always follows duty. Without fulfilling the duty, you never experienced the delight. I have a lot more to say on this, but I'll have to wait till next time. Let me pray with you.

Father, I thank you, Lord, for tonight, chance to be in your word. Pray, Father, that you'd convict all of us. For all of us, Lord, tend to be vengeful. We tend to operate in the flesh so many times. We just wanna get back. We relish in people's failures. Those sinned against us. And that's so wrong. It should never happen. And that's because we have an unforgiving spirit. Help us to be kind and compassionate, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven us. Pray in Jesus' name, amen.