Divorce and Remarriage, Part 4

What is the biblical teaching about divorce and remarriage when it comes to one's conversion? Turn with me to 2nd Corinthians chapter 5.

2nd Corinthians chapter 5 verse number 7. Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature. The old things pass away behold new things have come. When the marriage and divorce occur prior to salvation, what happens? What happens if you get saved and you're already divorced? What happens? You got to answer that question. To answer that, you got to go to 2nd Corinthians 5 verse 17 that talks about the new birth and the transformation in the life of an individual. The word new, are you ready for this?

Means new. Took me all afternoon to figure that out. Took you two seconds to listen to it. A brand new fresh creation. Vine in his commentary says this, the term used is that which is unaccustomed or unused. Not new in time or recent, but new as to form or quality or different nature from that what is contrasted as old. It's the same word used in in John 13 34 when Christ says that he gives a new commandment.

Use the Matthew 26 to speak of a new covenant. Ephesians 2 15 to speak of the new man. Ephesians 4 24 to speak of the new self. Revelation 2 17 are being given a new name in heaven. And Revelation 21 1 to speak of a new heaven and a new earth. There can be no question about what Paul has in mind when he talks about a new creation. It's an unused creature. It's a brand new fresh creation that one becomes at the moment of salvation. And Paul even goes further beyond that when he says look, you're not only a new creation, but the new things have come and the old things have what?

Passed away. I take that literally. The old life has passed away. It's characteristics, it's sins, and the grace of God has removed those sins in your life. So I believe that when someone becomes a new creation, they become a new life. They become what God has transformed into something totally new. That that erases what has happened in the past. It says this in Psalm 103, God has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his loving-kindness toward those who fear him.

As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. If you read Ephesians chapter 2 verses 1 to 7, Paul clearly explains what has happened when we become Christians. How we were once dead in our trespasses and sins, but God raised us up. And so I believe that when the Bible speaks of a conversion experience, a new creation, that God grants his new creation the freedom to remarry. Now note, it might be best if you become a Christian to go back to that spouse who's not a Christian and explain to them what you have done and why.

That doesn't mean you have to go back to them and remarry them. Why? Because then you would be violating the text that says be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. So if you're a unbeliever and you divorce and you get saved to go back, even though the grounds for divorce were biblical or unbiblical, you're an unbeliever. How do you know what's right and what's wrong? You don't. I mean most of us as Christians don't know what's right and what's wrong. How do you expect the unbeliever to know what's right and what's wrong, right?

So for that believer now to go back and remarry the unbeliever would cause them to be unequally yoked together with that unbeliever. And so therefore that new creation is free to remarry. Now granted, I know that there are a lot of people who don't agree with that view. And I'm not asking you to agree with what I believe the Scriptures teach. You might see it totally different. I'm just telling you what I believe the Scriptures speak of when it's when it talks about a new creation. When man is alienated from God and he's at enmity with God, he knows nothing about what God would have to do when it comes to the marriage relationship and the picture it's supposed to have to a world that does not know him.

So you have to understand that in the realm of God's grace, in the realm of his mercy, in the realm of his all-encompassing forgiveness, he has forgiven that sin as well as every other sin that you committed before you became a Christian. And expects you now to live as a believer would live, honoring and glorifying the Lord God. Hopefully, that has covered the issue of the biblical teaching. And before we answer your questions, I want to cover point number three, and that is your personal transformation.

I want to cover three points with you this evening. In order to transform your thinking, your life, that it might be what God wants it to be. Here's number one.

You need to explore the biblical teaching and its design. You need to explore the biblical teaching and its design. If you want your marriage to work, when I say work, I mean to biblically work. I don't mean so that everything turns out your way. I'm saying for it to biblically operate the way God intended it to be, you need to explore the biblical teaching in God's design. Folks, how many times have we told you, you need to be like the Bereans. Just keep searching the scriptures. And go back to the blueprint.

God's the master architect of marriage. He designed it from the very beginning. He's got a plan. When we violate the plan, everything goes haywire. So how do we get back in line with the plan? How do we know what God has said in his word? Because Matthew 19 says that from the beginning, this was not the way it was supposed to happen. It was to be a one flesh union, a permanent, precious, pleasurable, predetermined union that was to last forever, permanently. And when sin entered the world, everything began to break down.

And God knew that was going to happen. And so we need to explore what the Bible says in its design. Turn with me over to Ephesians chapter 5.

What is the design? Well, let's read it together. Ephesians 5 verse number 22. Wives, to your husbands. Follow with me so far? Wives, to your husbands. That's the literal ending of the text. The word, be subject, is not there. You follow with me so far? If it's in italics, which it should be in your text, it shows you that's not in the original manuscripts. And so it says, wives, to your own husbands. To your own husbands what? Go back to verse number 21. And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Please note this. Submission in the family, in the husband-wife relationship, is one to another. Husbands love Matthew, Ephesians 5, 22. Wife, you've got to submit to my orders. That's what the Bible says.

Read it here. And we'll read it together for devotions every night until you get it. But man doesn't understand that that's not what the text says. The text says, be subject one to another. And then it says, wives, to your husbands. Literally, now husbands then to your wives. It explains how the wife is to be subject to her husband, but when you get down to verse number 25, it says this. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. Follow this through ladies.

The greater act of submission in the marital relationship is on the part of the man, not the woman. The woman's not called to give up her life for the man. The man is called to give up his life for the wife. And there is no greater act of submission than to die for the one you love. And I've yet to hear an amen from the female part of our congregation this evening. Is it not true? Now note this. In the relationship, there is to be equality. There is to be a mutuality. Back in 1st Corinthians chapter 7, it says this in verse number 3.

Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband. You see the equality there? You see that the mutual bond that's there? The husband has the wife to his duty and the wife has a duty to her husband. In the context, it talks specifically about meeting one another's needs sexually. The wife's body is not her own. It's the husband's. The husband's body is not his own. It's the wife's. Why? Because you see there's equality in the relationship. As God designed it from the very beginning of time, we talked about it last week.

He created them. They multiplied. They worked. They did everything. It was a co-regent. It was an opportunity for man and wife to be together in one great union. When the fall happened, the union dispersed and they began to fight one for another as to who would be the the one over the other one. You go back to Ephesians chapter 5 and the Lord God says to the Apostle Paul, you've got to be subject to one another.

And wives, you have got to learn to submit to your husbands and love them and honor them and follow them. Follow their leadership. And husbands, you got to love your wives as Christ loved the church. He cherished the church. He nurtured the church. He gave himself up for the church. Now read this. This is fascinating. First Corinthians chapter 11.

But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man. Amen? Amen? Christ is the head of every man. And the man is the head of a woman. Not too many amens there. Are you ready for this? Here's the phrase. And God is the head of who? Christ. Wait a minute. How can that be? How can God the Father be the head of Christ? Aren't they one? I and the Father are one, the Lord God said when he was on the earth. How can God the Father be the head of Christ? Not in essence, but in function. You see, it necessitated in the Trinity that there be one that would subject himself to the other.

And that would be the Son of God subjecting himself to God the Father in humiliation. You translate that over to the marital relationship. There is equality in the relationship. Peter would say in the first Peter 3 7, you are both heirs of the grace of God.

You are both one. You are both equal. You have a relationship that functions together. And the only reason God has made man the head is so that the home can function properly. You see that? It's not because man is better than the woman because he's not. We all know that, right ladies? Man is not better than a woman. But that's the order which God designed it to happen. In order for the family to function as it's supposed to function. The problem is when man usurps that headship by trying to be the dictator in the home.

You see we are to submit ourselves one to another. It's a word that means to to line up in rank. It's a military term. And the husband is to line up in rank, to bear under his wife, to care for her needs, to watch over her, to take care of her. And when he does that she more willingly and lovingly submits to that kind of care and that kind of nurturing because she sees God in her man. You see we got so much problem in our marriage just because our women don't see God in their man. Because the man is always doing his own thing.

He's going here. He's going there. He's doing this. He's doing that. He's ruling with authority in the home and the wife is being abused physically and verbally and emotionally and spiritually and she's saying wait a minute. I can't submit to that kind of leadership. Yet God says I'm supposed to submit to that leadership and you are.

But 99.9% of the problems in the home are the man's problem, not the woman's problem. Now I can say that because I is one. I'm a man. And let me tell you something.

When things go well in my family, they're going well because I'm leading the right way. And when things are going bad in my family, guess what? It's not my wife's fault. It's not my kids fault. God didn't call them to lead. He called me to lead. If there's a problem in my family, it's my fault. It's my fault and I got to make sure that I lead properly. Now granted everybody's responsible for their own sins that they commit. But I got to go back and ask myself, do I love my wife as Christ loved the church?

Now I can't stand before you today and say yes, I do. I can't say that. I wish I could tell you that. I can't say that. But I can say that I am trying to work toward that direction. That I would be more loving and nurturing and caring for my wife. That's the design. Explore the biblical teaching and its design. And as you begin to do that and you focus on that and purpose in your heart to do that, the marriage relationship can become what it was in Genesis chapter 2. When husband and wife functioned together in such union, in such equality, in such love and admiration for one another, that there was harmony in the home.

And that's what God wants us to do. Point number two. Expose the diabolical treachery and its delusion. Expose the diabolical treachery and its delusion. Ephesians chapter 5 verse number 11. And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them. For it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. Folks, we need to expose the diabolical treachery and its delusion. The grass is not greener at the other house. It's just not. David found out the hard way with Bathsheba.

And we can name countless numbers of people who have realized the myth of the greener grass. And sorry to say that it's it's not a good thing. So we need to sit back and begin to expose all that's happening. Because it's a delusion and Satan sends a delusion and you got to be careful. We're human. We're sinful. We're weak. And every one of us, every single one of us are equipped with the remarkable ability to rationalize and to compromise. It's amazing how we can rationalize our lives. Unless we guard against it, when we experience marital difficulties, we will search for a way out instead of a way through the problems.

First Corinthians 10 13, there hath no temptation taken you but such as common to man. Whatever you have in your marriage is a common thing. It's not uncommon. It's common. And God in his sovereign grace and wonderful love and mercy always provides a way of escape. But the escape route is always through the temptation. It's through the trial. It's not around the trial. And God will see you through. He'll see you through it. But you got to depend upon him and lean upon him for strength. If not, we'll believe we deserve our long-awaited utopia.

And we will begin to push in the direction of divorce and violate God's principles. It was Chuck Swindoll who recorded these words. He goes, I warn all of us against such actions. To carry out that carnal procedure is to short circuit the better plan God has arranged for his people. And worse than that is to twist the glorious grace of God into a guilt relieving excuse for giving us what we have devised instead of accepting what God has designed. Where God permits divorce and remarriage, humbly let us accept it without fear or guilt.

Let us not call unclean what he now calls clean. But neither let us put words in his mouth and make him say what he in fact has not said no matter how miserable we may be. There is something much worse than living with a mate in disharmony and that is living with God in disobedience. Think about that. Let me read it to you again.

There is something much worse than living with a mate in disharmony and that is living with God in disobedience. Is that not true? And point number three, and we must hurry.

We need to experience the spiritual triumph and its delights. Experience the spiritual triumph and its delights. I wonder if you've experienced that in your marriage. It's summed up in Ephesians 4, verse number 32. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Forgiveness, my friend, is your duty. If we had time, we'd go through Luke 17, the parable about forgiveness. And the point of the parable is this, that when you have forgiven your brother his sins, you've only done that which is your duty to do anyway.

And Christ says we are to forgive as Christ or God has forgiven us in Christ Jesus. That example, you know the example, it's Hosea and Gomer. Hosea married a woman who became a harlot, a prostitute, and God said you can't divorce her. Did Hosea want to divorce her? You bet. Would he be biblical to divorce her? You bet. Did he divorce her? No. You know why? Because God said he couldn't. God says you don't divorce her because you are an allegory.

You are an illustration. You are a picture of my love for Israel. Don't divorce. And I can imagine Hosea was pretty much an upset kind of guy. Here his wife was going around sleeping with everybody she could find. And he was going around, if you read Hosea chapter 2, he was going around paying all of her bills. He was going around paying for her harlotries. And every time he dished out another 10, another 20. I don't know what he was doing. But he didn't divorce his wife. You get to Hosea chapter 3, you strip her naked and put her up on a slave block and sell her.

And Hosea for 15 pieces of silver and a bushel and a half of barley buys his immoral, promiscuous, adulterous wife back. My friends, that is God's design. That's the way God wants it. You are an allegory. You are a picture. You are an illustration in your relationship to a world of the love of God, to his church, to his people. Has a church committed spiritual harlotries? You bet. Has a church wandered away from the Lord and gone after others? You bet. Has a church courted the world? You bet. Did God divorce the church?

No. He won't. And we are to be a picture to a world of God's graciousness, God's faithfulness, and God's forgiveness. Just because God in his graciousness permitted divorce for the cause of fornication doesn't mean you have to take it. It's always better to forgive. The Christian is most like Jesus Christ when forgiveness is at stake. It's always the best solution. The question is, what will you do? How will you respond to the word of God? Let's pray together. Lord God, we thank you for our time together this evening.

And once again, Father, our prayer is that we would not take offense to what was said or how it was said, but that, Lord, we would search the scriptures and most importantly, we would be obedient to your word. There are many people here tonight, Father, that have gone through much hardship in their marriages. Hardships that I will never understand or experience. But, Father, you are that great high priest who understands and who relates and asks us to come to you and depend upon you for grace and mercy.

May we be those kind of people totally dependent upon you for all things, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.