Divorce and Remarriage, Part 4

Father God, we thank you for tonight and all that you do and we are grateful for a chance to spend some time in your Word and just pray, Lord, that you'd open our hearts and minds to behold beautiful things out of your law.

Lord, you are a great God and you have given us your Word and your Word is so true and so pure and so holy. Our prayer, Father, is that we would be the kind of people that when we hear it, Lord, we would bow before it and follow your Word exactly as it's written, that we might glorify your precious name.

So, Lord, use your Word tonight to convict us and to comfort us and to challenge us and to move us on to maturity in Christ for the glory of your kingdom. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Tonight we want to conclude our time on divorce and remarriage in Matthew 5:31 and 32. And as we do, I want to leave some time for some more questions. Many of you asked questions afterwards last week and said, you know, we needed more time.

Well, I'll try to give you some more time this evening to ask whatever question that you want to ask me about divorce and remarriage. But we want to bring it to a conclusion tonight. We've already looked at the rabbinical tradition in Matthew 5:31 and 32.

From there, we move to the biblical teaching to help us understand what the Word of the Lord says. And then tonight, we'll look at your personal transformation. What happens now once you understand what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage? How does that affect me in my life right now that I might understand how to better be used of the Lord in my marriage and help others understand how it is they can maintain a marriage that honors and glorifies the Lord?

So I'm going to give you three principles very quickly. The third one I'll spend the majority of our time on, but three principles that will help you in terms of your own personal transformation. All right.

Number one is this. You must always explore the biblical teaching and its design. You must always explore the biblical teaching and its design. What does the Bible say about marriage? What does the Bible say about divorce? What does the Bible say about maintaining a marriage that honors and glorifies the Lord? 1 Peter chapter 3, verses 1 to 7, Ephesians 5:22 and following, the book of Colossians, the 3rd chapter, all deal with marriage and what the marriage is to look like.

The Bible says in Hebrews 13 that the marriage bed is undefiled and that God honors those who honor the marriage. And yet it also tells us that fornicators and adulterers will not go unjudged. And so you need to understand what the Bible says concerning marriage and divorce and follow the biblical teaching.

That's why the Lord says, have you not read? I mean, he drives the people back in Matthew 19, the Pharisees back to the Bible. What does the read? And so many times we really depend upon others to tell us about divorce and remarriage instead of reading what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage. And so it's imperative that we understand that the biblical teaching on it is all that matters.

It's not my parents' view, not my pastor's view, my friend's view. It's what God actually says. And so it's imperative that in order for there to be a personal transformation that I explore the biblical teaching and its design.

Number two, at the same time, you need to expose the diabolical treachery and its delusion. The diabolical treachery and its delusion. Satan is a master deceiver and he will delude your thinking.

He will weaken your mind. He will do all he can to get you off track. And the Bible says these words in Ephesians chapter 5, verse number 11, it says, do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them.

There are so many things that need to be exposed, but Satan is diabolically opposed to marriage and does all he can to destroy your family. And so you need to be aware of that. You need to understand that.

You need to know that. You know, Paul would talk about these words in 2 Corinthians 11 when he said, I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. So easily Satan leads our minds astray and we need to be able to expose that diabolical treachery.

You ever heard of the myth of the greener grass? It's about the guy who is standing in his lawn and his lawn is brown. And yet he looks over the fence and the grass is green and lush and just all filled in and just marvelous. And he sits there and looks at the greener grass and wonders why that grass is so green and why his is so brown.

And yet he realizes that or doesn't realize that the guy on the other end is nurturing and watering and taking care of his grass and this guy's not. And it's called the myth of the greener grass because if you were to go on the other side, soon that grass would be brown as well because you don't know how to nurture the product that you have. You know, why does the other wife look better than your wife? It's because she's being nurtured and cared for by her husband and you're not nurturing and caring for your wife.

And if you were to marry the other guy's wife, the other guy's wife would end up like your previous wife. Why? Because the problem in marriage was not the wife, it was you all along. And so there is this myth of the greener grass that we think that the next woman is always better or the next man is always going to be a better provider and protector of me.

That's not true. And so Satan wants to get you to believe those lies. He wants to move you away from the truth of the gospel and that which needs to happen in your own life.

And then number three, this is where I want to spend some time. And that is you need to experience the spiritual triumph and its delight. Experience the spiritual triumph and its delight.

How do I do that? How does that actually happen? We've looked at the benchmarks for marital bliss on Sunday morning. This week we'll look at the blueprint of marital bliss. But how do I really truly experience spiritual triumph that I might be able to delight in the life of my youth? How does that happen? What needs to take place in my own personal life? You see, the institution of marriage fails simply because our devotion to the master falters.

There's no other reason. The institution of marriage fails simply because my devotion to the master falters. There's something that is wrong with my relationship with the Lord that's affecting my marriage tremendously.

I don't think that's the case. I think it's my wife or my husband. I think it's their fault.

But no, it really comes down to you and your walk with the Lord, your commitment to Christ. And so it's imperative to understand that the Lord wants us to be invested in Him. He wants us to love Him with all that we have.

He wants us to build upon Him. He's the rock we build upon. And so how do we do that? How does that happen? I'm going to give you some principles.

You're probably going to have to turn your page over and write in the back because it's going to be eight principles I'm going to give you. But eight principles that will help you in terms of spiritual triumph in this life. If you want to experience spiritual triumph in your marriage so that it doesn't lead to divorce, so you have a magnificent marriage, not a devastating divorce, how do you do that? I'll give you eight principles.

Here they are. Number one, minister for the Lord unwaveringly. Minister for the Lord unwaveringly.

This is very, very important. In your marriage, you minister for the Lord. You serve the Lord.

Listen to what the Bible says in the book of Colossians, 3rd chapter. It says this in verse 23, whatever you do, do you work heartily as for the Lord rather than for men. So whatever you're doing, do it for the Lord, not for anybody else, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance.

It is the Lord Christ whom you serve, for he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality. It is the Lord God whom you serve. Please remember that your marriage is your ministry as long as you minister for your master.

Because you see, if you're not ministering for the Lord, who are you ministering for? If you're not serving the Lord, who are you serving? You know, we live in a self-serving society. We love to serve ourselves. We do what we do for ourselves.

And as long as you do that, you're not ministering for the Lord. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, Solomon says.

We are to do the will of God from the heart, Ephesians 6 says. Everything we do is for the Lord, infused by the energy of the Lord. But you need to minister for the Lord unwaveringly. That is, I don't waver from my commitment to the Lord.

I don't waver from my devotion to the Lord. I don't waver from my service for the Lord. It's all about the Lord and no one else.

And if you want there to be a spiritual transformation and triumph in your marriage, it begins when you minister for the Lord. You are serving the Lord Christ. That's what makes your service for your wife or for your husband exciting, because you're serving the Lord.

When you submit, you submit as unto the Lord. You're submitting to the Lord and His Word, His principles, His design, His desire. You're doing it for Him.

But as soon as you begin to live for yourself, no longer are you ministering for the Lord, you're ministering for yourself. And that means you're serving yourself. That never works.

It will never work in a marriage. It will never work in your job. It will never work in life.

Oh, there are some benefits that will come your way because you are the recipient of that at times. But the bottom line is you must minister for the Lord. And you do it unwaveringly.

Number two, you must abide in the Lord unfailingly. You must abide in the Lord unfailingly. Turn to John chapter 15.

Listen to what Christ says in verse number 1. He says, I am the vine and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit, He takes away.

And every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in me and I in you.

As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him, he bears much fruit for apart from me you can do nothing.

Abide in the Lord without ever failing. That means you remain in the Lord. The word abide means simply to remain.

Now we know that we have a union with Christ. If you're a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, you're in union with Him. But that union comes with a communion.

That is, you commune with the Lord. And when you abide in the Lord, you not only have a union with Him, but you are communing with Him. Notice he says that every branch that does not bear fruit, he prunes.

The pruning process is a painful process. And the Lord wants us to bear much fruit. You see, when you abide in the Lord, you're going to bear fruit.

What's fruit? It's a byproduct of my relationship with the Lord. It talks about the fruit of righteousness in the book of Hebrews. In Galatians 5, it talks about the fruit of the Spirit, right? Well, this is my father glorified, John 15, verse number 8, that you bear much fruit.

That is, you experience the fruit of the Spirit, which is love and peace and joy, meekness, gentleness, self-control. All that fruit of the Spirit is something that is to exude from my life. When I abide in the Lord and I do it unfailingly, then the fruit of the Spirit begins to blossom.

There is peace. There is love. There is gentleness. There is self-control. Those things begin to exude from my life.

And so, if those things aren't being evident, then what God does is that every branch that is in Him, he prunes.

And sometimes God causes trials and difficulties and hardships to come because you're unwilling to have that communion that flows from the union you have with Christ in order for there to be productive fruit that is produced. If I am to experience a spiritual transformation, a spiritual triumph in my marriage, it comes because I abide in the Lord. Everything is about the Lord.

Everything in your marriage is about the Lord. Once you remove the Lord from your marriage, then your marriage is just a relationship between two people that exist together but has no meaning, has no intimacy, has no strength. Why? Because the master designer, our Lord, is the one who has all the solutions to your marriage. He designed it.

And so, when you minister for the Lord and you do it unwaveringly and you abide in the Lord unfailingly, what happens is that all of a sudden, fruit begins to exude from your life and you begin to do the things that God desires you to do. John 8:31, the Lord says, if you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples.

It's imperative that we understand that we are to immerse ourselves in the truth of God's word so that we can have that communion with the Lord that is essential.

Listen, so many times people just don't really care about what God says when it comes to their marriage. If that's the attitude, there is no hope for your marriage. There's just not. It's going to go by the wayside. It will end in divorce. It will fail miserably. Why? Because the institution of marriage fails because our devotion to the master falters. When our devotion to Christ weakens, everything else begins to fall apart.

So, you minister for the Lord. You minister for the Lord unwaveringly. You abide in the Lord and you do it unfailingly.

Number three, you rejoice in the Lord unendingly. You rejoice in the Lord unendingly. In other words, everything about your life stems from your relationship with the Lord.

Therefore, you rejoice in the Lord. No one else, just rejoice in the Lord. That's what it says in Philippians 4:4. Rejoice in the Lord always.

And again, I say rejoice, Paul says. First Thessalonians 5:16, rejoice always. Psalm 19:8, the precepts of the Lord are right.

They rejoice the heart. Psalm 35, verse number 9, my soul shall rejoice in the Lord. Psalm 119:162, I rejoice at thy word as one who finds great spoil.

Nehemiah 8, verse number 10, the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Psalm 34, verse number 1 says, I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul will make its boast in the Lord. The humble will hear it and rejoice. Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together.

But his praise will continually be in my mouth. There will always be this constant rejoicing. We are to rejoice in the Lord unendingly.

There is a continual rejoicing that's supposed to happen in your life and mine. And it comes because of our relationship with the Lord. And so many times we let circumstances dictate our joy.

We let situations dictate my emotions instead of rejoicing in the Lord. It's a command given to us by the Lord. So he wants us to rejoice in him.

And when you begin to think of who God is and what he's done, you can't help but be thankful and praise him and rejoice in him. Well, if you want there to be a spiritual triumph in your marriage, you must rejoice in the Lord unendingly. You must abide in the Lord unfailingly.

And you must minister for the Lord unwaveringly. It must never stop. You must never go to the left or to the right, always doing what the word of the Lord says.

Number four, it's this. Rely on the Lord unconditionally. You need to rely on the Lord unconditionally.

Listen, you cannot rely on your husband or your wife. You just can't. I know you'd like to, but you really can't.

Why? Because they get caught up in their own issues. They get caught up in their own difficulties, their own problems, right? And so what do you do? You need to rely on the Lord and you need to do it unconditionally. Listen to what the Bible says in Psalm 35.

Psalm 35, my soul shall rejoice in the Lord and I shall exalt in his salvation. So there is a rejoicing that takes place. But yet at the same time, there is this trust in the Lord that causes me to rejoice in him.

Look what it says in Psalm 33, verse number 13. The Lord looks from heaven, he sees all the sons of men. From his dwelling place, he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth. He who fashions the hearts of them all, he who understands all their works. The king is not saved by a mighty army. A warrior is not delivered by great strength.

A horse is a false hope for victory, nor does it deliver anyone by its great strength. Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him. On those who hope or wait or trust for his loving kindness to deliver their soul from death and to keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the Lord. He is our help and our shield for our heart rejoices in him because we trust in his holy name. Let your loving kindness, O Lord, be upon us according as we have hoped in you.

Look over with me if you would at Psalm 146. It says in verse 3, do not trust in princes, in mortal man in whom there is no salvation. His spirit departs, he returns to the earth.

In that very day his thoughts perish. How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, who keeps faith forever, who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets the prisoners free.

The Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord raises up those who are bowed down. The Lord loves the righteous. The Lord protects the strangers. He supports the fatherless and the widow, but he thwarts the way of the wicked.

You got to trust the Lord. You got to rely upon the Lord. Psalm 147, verse number 10, he does not delight in the strength of the horse. He does not take pleasure in the legs of man. The Lord favors or is pleased with those who fear him, those who wait for his loving kindness.

In other words, the psalmist makes it very clear. There is no horse that gives you victory. There is no human resource. There is no person that will give you victory in life. It's only the Lord.

He is our strength. He is our victorious warrior. He's the one that's with us like a dread champion.

He is the one that we rely on. And as soon as you begin to rely on someone else or something else, you will not experience spiritual triumph in your marriage. It must be completely and totally unconditionally trusting and relying upon the Lord.

That is the only way that your marriage will experience the delight that God has for it. He wants you to trust him. He wants you to believe in him.

He wants you to rely upon him. He wants you to look to him. He wants you to depend upon him.

But so many times, we just depend upon our own self-resources. We think that we can make our marriage work. But unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain to build it.

You need the Lord. That's what Christ said. We read earlier, John 15:5, without me, you can do nothing. You can't do anything. The problem is we think we can, but you can't. You need me, the Lord says.

And so you minister for the Lord, and you do it unwaveringly. You abide in the Lord, and you do it unfailingly. You rejoice in the Lord, you do that unendingly.

You rely on the Lord, you do it unconditionally. So important. And then you imitate the Lord uncompromisingly.

You imitate the Lord uncompromisingly. In other words, there is no compromise in your walk with the Lord. You want to imitate him.

Ephesians 5, Paul says it this way, therefore be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Imitate the Lord uncompromisingly. In other words, you follow the Lord.

You do what he says. You obey the Lord. You know, the key to communication, I think I've told you before that the key to communication in marriage is the ability to communicate Christ in every conversation.

That's the key to communication. How do you communicate Christ in your conversation? How do you communicate Christ in your marriage? That's the key to any kind of communication in your marriage. When there's a conflict, do you communicate Christ? When things are going well, do you communicate Christ? When there's disaster, do you communicate Christ? That is a good marriage that communicates well.

It is a speaking the words of God and living Christ's life so that Christ is communicated through your life and through your lips. That's a marriage that communicates to Christ. And that's what we do.

So we are to imitate Christ. We are to model his life. We're to walk as he walked.

1 John 2:6. He who says he abides in me ought himself to walk even as Christ himself walks. So therefore you are an imitator of Christ. You walk in love.

Christ is light. So you walk brightly.

Christ is truth. So you live truthfully.

The Lord is grace. So you live gracefully.

The Lord is righteous. So you live righteously.

The Lord is holy. So you live a holy life. He becomes your model. He becomes the one you imitate.

Imitate the Lord unconditionally. In other words, there is no condition by which I will not imitate the Lord. I will always want to live as he lives, speak as he speaks, walk as he walked so that I might communicate Christ to my husband or to my wife in every situation, in every conversation, no matter what the day or the hour, I want to imitate the Lord uncompromisingly.

Number two, or number, not number two, sorry, number six. Acknowledge the Lord unashamedly. Acknowledge the Lord unashamedly.

In other words, I acknowledge, I accept, I adhere to all that God is and all that God does and all that God wants to do because I believe in the providence of God. I believe in the sovereignty of God. I believe that God is in control of everything in my life, and so I depend solely upon him, and I'm going to acknowledge him unashamedly.

For instance, you know the verse, Proverbs 3, verses 5 and 6, trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him.

Acknowledge him, and he will make your paths smooth. If your paths are not smooth, it's because you're leaning on your own understanding. If your paths are not smooth, that means you're not acknowledging the Lord in all your ways, in all your paths.

You want to trust him and believe in him and acknowledge that, Lord, you have brought this my way. I acknowledge, Lord, that you have brought this difficulty into our marriage. I acknowledge, Lord, that you're in charge of our marriage.

I acknowledge, Lord, that you are providentially moving in and among my wife, my children, my work, everything. I acknowledge, Lord, that you're in control of my marriage, and I submit to you, and I follow you, and I want to honor you in all that you say and do. The Bible says these words in Proverbs 20, verse 24, a man's steps are directed by the Lord.

The Lord is directing your steps. The Lord is moving in and among you. It says in Psalm 31:15, our times are in your hands.

God directly causes or consciously permits everything that happens in life. God directly causes or consciously permits every single thing that has ever happened in the world, because God is sovereign. That's a definition of God's sovereignty.

He rules over everything. He's in the heavens. He's on his throne, and therefore, I'm going to acknowledge my Lord, and I'm going to acknowledge him unashamedly, because I know that he's in charge, and I know that I have nothing to fear, because he has my marriage in his hands.

He has my family in his hands. He has my husband and my wife in his hands. He's in control, and I trust him to accomplish great and mighty things.

Number seven, grow in the Lord unceasingly. Grow in the Lord unceasingly. There should never be a ceasing of spiritual growth.

As newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word that you may grow thereby. 1 Peter chapter 2. 2 Peter 3, verse number 18, grow in the grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ our Lord. We are to grow in the Lord unceasingly.

Hosea 4:6, my people are destroyed because they do not know me. Why are marriages destroyed? Because we do not know the Lord.

Daniel 11:32, those who know their God display strength and do great exploits. Those who know their God will always display strength, and they will do great exploits, because they know God. They know who he is. They know how he functions.

They know his power. They know his strength. They know his faithfulness.

They know his forgiveness. They know him, so they depend upon him. They rely upon him. They abide in him. They minister for him, and therefore they are continually growing in their walk with him.

So I ask you, are you growing in your walk with the Lord? Are you further in your walk with the Lord this week than you were last week, this month than you were last month, this year than last year? Is there this continual progression of your spiritual development from day to day after day after day? Because if you're not going forward, you're going backwards.

No one's ever stagnant. No one ever stays where they are. They're either moving closer to the Lord or moving further away from the Lord.

So are you growing in the Lord unceasingly? And then lastly, exalt the Lord unreservedly. Lift his name on high. The word exalt means to uplift, to elevate.

It even means to enlarge. Enlarge the Lord. How do you make the Lord any bigger than he already is? Well, you can't.

How do you exalt him higher than he already is? You can't. But you do it in your own life. He takes a higher precedence in your own life.

He is being enlarged in your own life. He's becoming a bigger influence, a bigger movement in your life so that you are following all that he is. So you exalt the Lord and you do it unreservedly.

Why? Because you want to honor his name. John the Baptist, he must increase, I must decrease. There must always be an elevation of Christ above me.

It says over in Psalm 18, verse number 46, the Lord lives and blessed be my rock and exalted and be the exaltation of the God of my salvation. Over in Isaiah chapter 25, Isaiah says this, oh Lord, you are my God. I will exalt you.

I will give thanks to your name for you have worked wonders, plans formed long ago with perfect faithfulness. Lord, I'm going to exalt your name because you have a plan. And those plans were formed long ago and they were done in faithfulness.

So I'm going to exalt you right now. I'm going to lift you higher than myself. I'm going to have you be so enlarged in my life that everything about me just mirrors the Lord.

When those things begin to happen, when those principles are relevant in your life, you are experiencing spiritual triumph and delight. It all centers on the Lord, not your wife, not your husband, the Lord. You are simply and totally always committed to the Lord.

You want to magnify his name. You want to honor his name. You want to make sure that you always minister for him.

You always abide in him. You always rejoice in him. You always rely upon him.

You always imitate only the Christ. You want to make sure that you acknowledge him, grow in him, and exalt him. Let me pray with you.

Father God, we thank you for your word. Our prayer, Father, is that we would experience spiritual triumph in our marriages and that there are so many things that we could say tonight. And yet, Lord, we recognize that you are our God.

And Lord, your word speaks volumes. And our prayer, Lord, is that we would live in the light of your glorious word every single day, that we might exemplify the Christ and honor you with all that we have, with all that we are, with all that we do. In Jesus' name, amen.