Divorce and Remarriage, Part 2

Father, we thank you for today and all the events that took place in our lives and all the different conversations that we had and all the people that we met and all the situations that came before us to stay. We're grateful, Lord, that you've allowed us to live through this day. And we are here this evening to hear what your Word says concerning our lives, our marriages, and what your plan is as you have outlined it so clearly in Scripture.

And pray, Father, that our hearts and minds would be open and receptive to the truth of the Word of God, that as the psalmist said, we open our mouth wide and you will fill it. And tonight we pray that you'd fill us with the goodness of the Lord. And so we thank you that we can be together in this time and pray that you'd be honored and glorified.

We pray for our children tonight as they meet and they hear the Word of God, that, Lord, they would grow in Christ-likeness. For our young people as they gather together, for our Spanish ministry as they meet and spend time in the Word of God, that, Lord, you would grow them deep in their understanding of the Lord Jesus. And so we thank you once again for a chance to be together.

And we trust that the things that we learn tonight will be with us, not just for a brief moment, but for the rest of our lives. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

It was the late British Army officer whose name was Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery who said these words to his young troops. He said, gentlemen, don't even think about marriage until you have mastered the art of warfare.

Wise words by the British officer. Don't even think about marriage until you have mastered the art of warfare. Why is that? It's because Satan has a diabolical plan for your marriage. Satan is going to attack and destroy that one institution that God has designed to picture Christ's relationship to the church and his love for the church.

And so Satan will do all he can to destroy that. God created Adam, and Satan didn't bother him. God created Eve, and all of a sudden Satan wants to divide them.

He wants to destroy the institution that God ordained, the marriage institution. And ever since Genesis chapter 3, there is a war that's happening. It's the greatest of all wars because it's Satan's desire to destroy what God has put together.

The question comes, how are you doing in your battle, in your warfare? We forget that the battle is not with our spouse. Although there are times we think that we're at war with our husband or with our wife. That's not the warfare he's talking about.

The warfare deals with Satan's desire to destroy your marriage and will stop at nothing to make you miserable, to cause there to be a separation, to divide what God has put together. If he can do that, then he can destroy the testimony of the marriage, that marriage that's supposed to picture the beauty of Christ's relationship to the church. Satan doesn't want the world to see that.

So he will do all he can to destroy it. And that's why the divorce is so prevalent in our society. I know that you probably know most of these statistics, but I think it would be well for us just to refresh them in our mind.

You know that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 41% of all first marriages end in divorce. 60% of all second marriages end in divorce.

And 75% of all third marriages end in divorce. In other words, there is a divorce every 42 seconds in our country. By the time we're done this evening, 86 people will have divorced in one hour.

There are 2,046 divorces that happened just today. There are 14,364 that happened this week. And there are 746,971 that will happen this year.

That's how prevalent divorce is. I told you on Sunday, and I think it's good to be reminded of this, that when you get married and you say your vows, in the time it takes you to say your vows, your vows of commitment, there are three couples that are valuing their decommitment to one another. There are three divorces for every one marriage during the time of your vows.

And then when you leave and you go to your reception, and you spend your four to five hours in that reception, totally ecstatic about your future and all that God has for you, there will be 430 people who divorce during that five-hour period. During the time you sit down with your wife and want to watch a romantic comedy, 176 people will divorce within that two-hour time frame. When you're laughing and excited about your marital union, 176 people are decided they're done with their marital union.

The average marriage lasts, or first marriage, lasts eight years. Just eight years. Wives are the ones who divorce the most.

66% of all divorces begin with the wife. In some years, it's even 75%. It goes up.

Interesting. The average age for those to get divorced is the age of 30. And 60% of all divorces involve individuals between the age of 25 and 39.

I give you those statistics just simply because we forget how prevalent divorce is in our country. Some of you have gone through divorces. Some of you have family members that have divorced, and others of you know friends that have divorced, and the effect it has on everyone involved.

But you see, Satan has unleashed havoc upon families because he wants to destroy all that God has designed. I think that when you begin to understand that the warfare is in your home, it will help prepare you even all the more if you're aware of that. People have given the reasons why.

And so they say that 73% of those divorced do it because there's a lack of commitment either on their behalf or on behalf of their partner. So 73% of those who divorce will say, well, there's just no longer any commitment. And it's true that most people have a commitment of convenience more than a commitment of conviction.

We're committed as long as it's convenient. We're committed as long as you love me. We're committed as long as things are nice.

We're committed as long as you provide for our home. We're committed as long as we don't have conflict. We're committed as long as this or that.

It's a conditioned commitment, not an unconditional commitment. And that's why people say there's a lack of commitment. But you see, you're committed to Christ.

If you're not committed to Christ, you can't be committed in anybody else or anything else. Right? Commitment stems from my relationship with God, not my relationship with somebody else. Commitment is always about my relationship with Christ.

Because when you are committed to the Christ and you are strong in that commitment, every other commitment is maintained. But when your commitment with Christ is weakened, every other commitment then is subject and then is easily backed away from. Because it all begins with your commitment to the Christ.

56% of people who divorce say it's because they argue too much. 55% say it's because of infidelity. 46% say that we're getting divorced because we married too young.

45% say that they had unrealistic expectations. 44% say there's a lack of equality in the relationship. 41% say there's a lack or there was a lack of preparation before we got married.

Therefore, it's best for us not to stay together. 25% divorce because of domestic violence or abuse. Those are what the world gives as excuses as to why they are divorced.

Tonight I want to begin our time by giving you some of the biblical reasons as to why there is a separation in the marriage. What does the Bible say about it in terms of what happens? Well, we're going to call this the battle in your marital journey, okay? This Sunday I'm going to talk to you about the benchmarks for your marital journey. And then the following Sunday I'm going to talk to you about, hmm, I forgot.

But I'll remember in two weeks, I promise. But anyway, tonight I want to talk to you about the battle in your marital journey. What is the battle? What is happening as to why divorce is prevalent even in the church? What is taking place? And as you listen to these, you're going to begin to get a better understanding of the battle in your marriage.

And how do you handle that conflict? How do you handle that situation? I think it's very, very important because it will lead into Sunday, which is the benchmark, and then the following Sunday, which is the blueprint. That's the B word, the blueprint in your marital journey. God gives a blueprint.

You know, God's the author of marriage. He's the creator of marriage. And so the only answer to, the only solution to your situation is the Word of God.

Because God has all the answers. And so it comes down, and I'll share this on Sunday, it comes down, will you do what the Bible says? That's where the rubber meets the road. Will you do what the Bible says? Because if you're unwilling to do that, then you will never stay together with your spouse.

But if you're willing to do what the Bible says no matter what, then there's hope for your marriage. There's hope for your future. But the question is, will you do what the Bible says? Because God has all the answers.

So, so what is the battle that takes place in the marital journey? I'm going to give you 10. There's a lot more. There's probably 110.

I'm just going to give you 10. All right? And they're not in any particular order. I just sat in my office and thought back on the 40 years that I've been in ministry and looked back and thought to myself, okay, of all the people I have counseled in marital situations, what have been the most prominent situations, the most prominent battles that they have faced? And what does God's Word say about it? Okay? The first one is this.

Unresolved conflict. Now you're going to know this. Unresolved conflict.

There is conflict that erupts in the marriage. There will always be conflict in a marriage. You got two people that are being joined together.

Two personalities, two opinions, right? Two different backgrounds. Two different styles of being raised. Everything is different about two people coming together.

There's going to be conflict. It's inevitable. So, so conflict is never bad.

How you handle conflict is either good or bad. You have to know how to handle conflict because it's going to happen. And Satan will do all he can to disrupt the marriage and cause there to be great conflict in your relationship.

The question comes, how, how do you handle that? You see, conflict happens because we don't communicate with one another properly. So how do you know that you're able to communicate properly? You know, because whenever you communicate someone, whenever there's a conflict, you must communicate the Christ in your conversation amidst the conflict. If you're communicating Christ in the conflict, you're going to watch what you say and you're going to watch how you say it.

But if you don't want to communicate Christ, if you want to communicate your opinion, if you want to communicate your rights, if you want to communicate your beliefs, if you want to communicate your agenda, yeah, you're going to have conflict. But if you communicate the Christ in the conversation, the conflict is minimized. Note this.

In Genesis chapter three, we looked at this last week. The result of the fall is that the woman's desire will be to her husband and he will dominate you. He will rule over you.

Genesis 3, verse number 16. So the woman will always seek to dominate her husband and yet the husband is always going to fight back and not allow that to happen. That's where the conflict is.

It's because sin has entered the world. And so the woman will always seek to rise above the man and the man will do all he can to squelch her desire to rise. And that's why you have conflict in your marriage.

And if it's not resolved as you are going through each day, then what happens is that there's always going to be an issue. So take, for instance, Ephesians chapter four, and you should know these verses very well. Ephesians chapter 4, the Bible says this in verse number 26.

Be angry and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give the devil an opportunity. So you can be angry without sinning because of righteous indignation.

Okay. But you can't let the sun go down upon your anger. How many of us go to bed angry, frustrated, upset, irritated without resolving the conflict? Well, Paul says if you don't resolve the conflict, if you let the sun go down upon your anger, if you go to bed mad, you're giving the opportunity for the devil.

See, that's what the devil wants. He doesn't want you to resolve the conflict because he knows that when you wake up the next day, the conflict is still going to be there and still going to get worse. So unresolved conflict is always going to be a battle.

In fact, Solomon would say a lot about this in the book of Proverbs. In Proverbs chapter 13, verse number 10, he says, through insolence or through pride comes nothing but strife. You want to know why there's conflict? There's pride.

That's why there's conflict in your marriage. Our arrogance, our insolence. We want to be right.

We have to be right. We don't want to be wrong. She must or he must see it my way.

They must do it my way because my way is always right. It's pride. Solomon makes it very clear that through pride comes nothing but strife.

And then over in chapter 10 of Proverbs, chapter 10, verse number 12, hatred stirs up strife. So not only is there anger that's causing the strife, but now hatred is just going to stir it up all the more. That's why he says following that, love covers a multitude of sins.

Love is not willing to expose sin. Love still confronts sin, but it doesn't expose sin. But hatred will stir up strife.

And then in Proverbs chapter 15, verse number 18, it says this, a hot-tempered man stirs up strife. Are you a hot-tempered man? Are you a hot-tempered woman? That happens too. Are you just flying off the handle all the time? A hot-tempered man, he stirs up strife.

But the slow to anger calms the dispute. Are you slow to anger or are you a hot-tempered man? Being slow to anger is so good. I'll just present myself vulnerable to you.

This past week, I think it was this past week, my wife was telling me something that I didn't do right, which is quite often in my house. But she was telling me something I didn't do right. And I'm getting irritated, right? Because I'm not wrong.

I'm right, you know? So I'm getting irritated. But she is so calm in how she's talking to me. And I find myself getting more and more irritated.

I could feel my blood beginning to boil. It was rising up to my eye level, right? But yet she was as calm as a cucumber. And I was so convicted because I wasn't calm and she was.

And she was able to keep everything under control as she spoke to me. Because her desire was to communicate Christ in the conversation. Mine was to be right in the conversation, right? Mine was to make sure that she understood my point of view and why I did what I did.

Hers wasn't that way. Hers was to communicate Christ in the conversation. See? Hatred stirs up strife and a hot-tempered man is going to stir up strife.

But the person who's slow to anger, he just calms the dispute. I wonder if you're slow to anger. And then over in chapter 16, verse number 32, it says, he who is slow to anger is better than the mighty.

And he who rules the spirit than he who captures a city. So many times we're just out of control. But Solomon would tell us that we need to be slow to anger.

Because if you are, you're stronger. You're mightier than the mighty. Because you're able to control your tongue.

That's why James has a whole section on the tongue in his epistle, right? Who can tame the tongue, right? That's his challenge. And you have to be able to control your language. And then over in Proverbs chapter 18, verse number 6, it says, a fool's lips bring strife and his mouth calls for blows.

A fool's lips bring strife. So he tells us that hatred stirs up strife. A hot-tempered man causes strife.

And the foolish lips is that which brings strife. So it could be that the strife in your home is because of your foolish lips. It could be because you're hot-tempered.

It could be because of any number of things. But are we willing to examine our life and say, look, when conflict erupts, what is going on? But unresolved conflict leads to people wanting to separate and divorce. So let me move on to number two.

From unresolved conflict, note this, that unrestrained thoughts can lead to divorce. That's why in the text of Matthew chapter 5, these words are said by the Lord. Before you get to the section on divorce and remarriage in verses 31 and 32, he says in verse 27, you've heard that it was said you shall not commit adultery.

And they would all say, yeah, of course you can't commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. The Lord says, I want to move beyond the action.

I want to attack you before the action and deal with your attitude. Because adultery happens, first of all, in the heart before it's actually played out physically. It's something that's wrong with your heart.

And that's the whole purpose of the Sermon on the Mount. It's to attack the Pharisees' religiosity that just because their actions are right, they are righteous. That's not the case.

So Christ goes right to the heart. And what happens then is that unrestrained thoughts, thoughts that are illicit, thoughts that are idle, right? Idle thoughts lead to iniquitous thoughts. We can sit and we can drive in a car and our thoughts are idle.

We can sit at home and lay in bed at night and our thoughts are idle. Unless we're able to control our mind, that's why we're to bring every thought into captivity, right? 2 Corinthians 10, verse number 5. Every thought into captivity for the glory of Christ. That's why we're to think on the things that are pure and true and holy and lovely.

Why does Paul tell us that in Philippians 4:8? Because he knows that you're going to be thinking about things you shouldn't be thinking about unless you think of the things that really matter. So you got to think Christ-like. You got to think on the things that are true and pure and holy and honorable.

So if not, he knows that your thought life will begin to wander. And unrestrained thoughts not only cause unresolved conflict, but they lead to people wanting to divorce because the second or the third reason is an undisciplined lifestyle. Unrestrained thoughts will lead to an undisciplined lifestyle.

You start thinking on sinful things, it's going to lead to a lifestyle that's out of control, that's undisciplined. That's why we are to discipline ourselves unto godliness, right? We are to work hard at living a godly and holy life. And so it says in Matthew 5, after Christ talks about looking at a woman and lusting for her, he says in verse 29, if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it far from you.

For it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you. For it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Christ is saying this is about self-mortification. This is about self-discipline. This is about making sure you deal with the issues in your life that caused you to sin.

So if there are things in your life that move you away from God and move you towards sin, you got to get rid of those things. See, that's called discipline. But an undisciplined lifestyle happens because I have unrestrained thoughts that well up within me and I'm not thinking of things I should be.

And therefore, it leads me to an undisciplined lifestyle. And those things always, always will be used by Satan to cause havoc in your home. And it becomes a huge battle in your marriage.

Number four, unfulfilled sexual desires. Unfulfilled sexual desires. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, in verse 3 of these words, the husband must fulfill his duty to his wife.

And likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Stop depriving one another except by agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Paul makes it very clear that in the marital union, the husband's body is not his own, but it is his wife's. And the wife's body is not her home, but it is her husband's.

And yet when we withhold sexual intimacy from our partner because we want to punish them or because we're mad at them or because for whatever reason we're doing it for, Paul says, you do that, you give an opportunity for Satan to get a foothold in your marriage. Because unfulfilled sexual desires cause Satan to move you in another direction away from your wife or away from your husband. And so part of the protection of a marriage is that the wife is for her husband and the husband is for his wife.

And so that intimacy can be strong and all that God wants it to be. That's why Solomon says, rejoice with the wife of your youth, right? Why? Because there's something about her that is so magnificent that she should be everything to you. Proverbs chapter 5, Solomon says this. Unfortunately, he didn't live up to what he said, but it is true what he says.

Proverbs chapter 5, verse number 18, let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner?

For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly, he will go astray.

So Solomon makes it very clear that you are to rejoice and be exhilarated always with the love of your wife, except that Solomon had so many wives, right? And so he's trying to convince his son that this is the way to go. You got to live what you preach.

Very important. And so when there is unresolved conflict, it gives an opportunity for Satan to have a foothold in your marriage. When there's unfulfilled sexual desires, it gives Satan a foothold in your marriage.

And he's always looking for a way in. He goes around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Right? He wants to chew you up and spit you out.

Do all he can to destroy your marriage. See, we forget this. We forget that when we wake up that we're going to war every day.

Every day is a battle. And you got to be prepared for warfare. And you're not fighting against your husband or fighting against your wife.

You're fighting against the principalities and powers of the air. You're fighting against the spiritual forces of wickedness and darkness. Because Satan just wants to wreak havoc on your home.

And you can't let him do that. So you got to stay true to the Lord. True to his word.

Follow through on what he says. Next. How about this one? Unmet or unrealistic expectations.

Unmet or unrealistic expectations. When you get married, you are expecting that everything your fiancé did while you were engaged in dating is going to continue on in the marriage. You are expecting that when you celebrate your one-week anniversary of dating, or your two-week anniversary of dating, or your three-week anniversary of dating, and every week he's celebrating the time of your getting together, and then all of a sudden, you get married and now that stops.

Where is the one week after we're married celebration, or the two weeks after we're married celebration, or the one-month celebration after? Where'd that go? You see, you get married and he's got a job, and he's got to go to work, and he's got to get up early, and he's got to pay the bills, and all those things happen. And you have all these expectations of how blissful marriage will be because my engagement period was so rich and so beautiful. He was so kind, so loving, so attentive to the conversation, always wanting to be there with me, always wanting to do things with me.

And then all of a sudden, we get married and it's not that way anymore. We have these unmet and unrealistic expectations. And then you get pregnant, and then you have a baby, and then all of a sudden, your life is no longer your own.

You're always taking care of the child, and changing diapers, and feeding the baby, and taking care of the child every single day. And your conversation is nothing but what the baby says to you, and that's not much of a conversation at all. And so you want to talk to your husband when he gets home, but he gets home and he's tired of talking to adults all day long.

He doesn't want to talk to adults anymore, but you, you've had no adult conversation. You want to talk to an adult, but he's tired, and he wants to go to bed, and your expectations are unmet. I mean that's just a few simple illustrations, but I mean this goes on and on and on.

Because we have these unrealistic expectations, and all of a sudden, they're not met in the way we want them to be met. And so we think, what is going on here? I thought it would be different. You did? Who told you that? We thought it would be just more, we thought we'd have a whole year's honeymoon.

We thought every day would be like it was when we were in, you know, Cabo for our honeymoon. Or like it was when we were overseas in Austria for our honeymoon. We thought every day would be like that.

But it's not. See? Because marriage is lived in the daily grind. The daily grind.

Because life is a grind. And you got to find joy in that grind. And if you don't find joy in that grind, you're going to be so disappointed.

You got to find joy in the everyday aspects that take place. Everyday events. Everyday situations.

Everyday conversations. We have unmet expectations. This is how James says it.

He says, what is the source of quarrels? That's the word for war. What is the source of wars and battles among you? What is that source? Why is there a battle? Why are you engaged in warfare? What is the source of that, he says? He says, is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You have these fleshly desires that wage war in your members. So you lust and you do not have, so you commit murder.

I mean, your fleshly desires take over so much that you can be involved in actions that are unbecoming of a believer. You are envious. You're jealous.

You cannot attain. So you fight and you quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask.

In other words, you're going to the wrong person. You should be asking me, the Lord says, but you don't have because you do not ask. You're not fulfilled because you do not ask.

You're not satisfied because you do not ask. And then he says this, you ask and do not receive because you ask with evil, evil motives so that you may spend it on your own pleasures. James just says it so clearly.

Why do you quarrel? Why do you fight? He says, you know, I'll tell you why you fight. It's because of your own fleshly desires. And you have these desires that you want someone else to meet.

And when they don't meet them, and they don't do what they say they're going to do, when they don't do what they said at the platform, when they said for better, for worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health till death do us part, when they don't do that because you see, you expect them to keep their word. You expect them to follow through on their word. And so all your expectations now are being destroyed because he or she is not fulfilling their commitment.

And so you have these unmet expectations, and it leads to quarrels and wars and battles. And all of a sudden, Christ says, you're asking the wrong person. You should be asking me.

You should be coming to me, but you're not. But when you finally do come to me, you ask for the wrong reasons. You ask for your own lustful desires because you want what you want.

You don't necessarily want what I want. And so you have these unmet expectations. Here's another one.

Ungratefulness to God. Ungratefulness to God. How many times have you been grateful for your husband or for your wife? How many times have you sat your husband or wife down and said, I am so grateful, so thankful that God gave you to me and me to you? When's the last time you did that? When's the last time you sat down and you prayed with your wife and thanked the Lord in front of your wife that God gave her to you? Or you as a woman thanked the Lord in front of your husband as you're praying, Lord, thank you so much for my husband.

Thank you for his leadership. Thank you for his protection. Thank you for how he's provided for us.

Thank you for how he's taking care of us. Lord, thank you for those kinds of things. But we can very easily fall into an ungrateful attitude.

And ungratefulness to God will always lead to discourse into disunity and difficulties that lead to divorce and separation. Simply because I just don't thank the Lord for what he has given to me. We're to give thanks in everything.

We are to give thanks for everything. Paul would say in Romans chapter one, in verse 21, for even though they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks. They never stopped to give thanks.

And so, but they became futile in their own speculations and their foolish heart would darken, professed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of an incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man. And God gave them over to their own desires, their own fleshly desires, because they were so ungrateful. Paul says in 2 Timothy 4, excuse me, 2 Timothy 3, he says, in the end times, men will be ungrateful, ungrateful.

And so many times we don't realize that the unthankful, ungrateful attitude only is going to cause you to become more and more irritable, more and more bitter, more and more angry, because you refuse to give thanks for the gift that God has given to you and your spouse. They are a gift, but God has joined together, let no man put asunder. God gave you your husband, gave you your wife, and you should be giving thanks to the Lord for that.

Here's the one you'll understand even clearer, unclean hearts, unclean hearts. Mark 7, it's very clear, for from within, out of the heart of men proceed evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.

All comes from an unclean heart. In other words, a heart that's been cleansed by the Lord is able to refrain from those things, but the heart that has not been cleansed by the Lord cannot. That's why in Proverbs 4, verse number 23, Solomon said, give me your heart, my son, for out of it flow all the issues of life.

The question will always be, does God have your heart? Is your heart committed to the Christ?

Here's another one, unbelief in what God says. Unbelief in what God says. Matthew 19, have you not read? Do you not know what God has said in His Word? Christ made it very clear when He said that.

Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two but one flesh, but therefore God has joined together, let no man divorce or separate. We just don't believe what God says. We don't believe that we're really one.

We don't really believe that this is a permanent union. We really don't believe that this is a precious union. We really don't believe that this is a provisional union.

We don't really believe that this is a pictorial union. We don't believe what God says. And unbelief in what God says will always lead to a battle that erupts in your home.

Because God's Word is the authority. And you can't live life as if what God said doesn't matter. It does.

How about this one? Unforgiving spirits. Unforgiveness is a killer on a marriage. An unwillingness to forgive the one who's offended you.

Remember what Christ says, and we'll get to this in a few weeks in Matthew chapter 6, because it's so incredibly important. Christ says that we, or in verse 12 of Matthew 6, and forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. And interesting that the Lord only has one commentary on the disciples' prayer.

Okay, it's not the Lord's prayer, it's the disciples' prayer. The Lord's prayer is Matthew 17. The disciples' prayer is Matthew 6. He teaches men how to pray.

But He only has one commentary on the prayer. Nothing about the Father in heaven. Nothing about the kingdom coming.

Nothing about giving us this day our daily bread. Nothing about anything else other than forgiveness. When He says in verse 14, for if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. God is serious about forgiveness. God is so serious about forgiveness.

Because He's a forgiving God. He wants His children to be forgiving people. And I wonder, how many marriages are stalled out because of an unforgiving spirit? How many marriages just begin to fizzle out? How many marriages begin to just disintegrate because of an unforgiving spirit? Paul says in the book of Ephesians, these words in Ephesians chapter 4, he says, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

That's the way we are to be. But when we don't forgive, when we withhold forgiveness, when we harbor bitterness, harbor anger, harbor a resentful attitude, we seek vengeance, not forgiveness. And it just destroys a marriage.

Then you have, of course, unlawful behavior. And that is Matthew chapter 5, verses 31 and 32. When Christ says those words, it was said, whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce.

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity or porneia or fornication, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. All of those things lead to unlawful behavior, an unwillingness to follow what the law of God says, what the Word of God says, and causes there to be a separation in the marriage. I wonder if tonight you realize the importance of what God has said in His Word when it comes to your marriage.

You know, and maybe you're not married, and you're thinking about getting married. You know, just take the words of Field Marshal Montgomery. Gentlemen, ladies, please, don't even think about marriage until you've mastered the art of warfare.

That's what he said. Have you mastered the art of warfare? Because you're going to war. Now, I know it sounds negative.

I don't mean to sound negative. I think marriage is great. I think marriage is the best institution in the world, right? But you have to understand that this is Satan's battleground, your marriage.

That's where he conquers the best. That's where he destroys your testimony to your children, to your neighbors, to your church, to the people you work with. He wants to destroy all that.

The question is, are you ready to handle all that's put before you by the power of the Spirit of God that lives within you? That's what's important. Now, this is all introduction to our outline. We haven't gotten there yet.

Sorry about that. So, in case you were looking for notes on the note page, it's not there. We're still looking at the rabbinical tradition.

Because the rabbinical tradition completely disregarded the divine plan, completely disregarded the divine plan. But they distorted the one passage, and there's only one, in the Old Testament, that deals with divorce. And they distorted it in such a way that they were able to divorce at will, because they wanted to believe that Moses commanded they could divorce their wife for anything obnoxious that she does.

That's how they lived. That's how they got around adultery. See? And they would say, well, yeah, you can't commit adultery, but we got a way around that, and we can divorce our wives for any cause because that's what Moses commanded.

And that's why they would go on to say in Matthew 19, did not Moses command that we divorce our wife for any cause? And Christ says, no. He never commanded that. Not at all.

And so, Christ is going to show you how He came to fulfill all of the law and the prophets. And that He's not anti-Moses. No, He completely fulfills what Moses said, because Christ is going to interpret exactly what Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:1 to 4. But that will be for next week. So let's pray together.

Father, we thank You, Lord, for tonight and a chance to be together and the opportunity to be challenged through the Word of the living God. Our prayer, Father, is that we would live in the light of Your Word, always seeking to follow Your Word without reservation, without hesitation, because we truly want to live for the glory and honor of our King.

So, Lord, go before us and may our marriages exemplify Christ, knowing that there is a warfare that happens. And we must recognize that the enemy is not the person we sleep with. The enemy is the spiritual forces of darkness and wickedness that come against our marriage.

May we be strong in the power of the Lord and the strength of His might. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.