Divorce and Remarriage, Part 1

Father God, we thank you for tonight and a chance to be together and we just thank you Lord that you have given us your word that so clearly states to us those things that you want us to learn and know and understand. Tonight Lord I pray that you'd open our eyes to behold once again the beauty of the Lord. You are a great God and you are greatly to be praised and our prayer is that we would live a life of praise to our God every day thanking you for all that you've done because Lord you have been so incredibly good to us.

So tonight Lord instruct us in the way that we should go that we might leave this place a changed people in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Tonight we're back in Matthew chapter 5 and we're looking at verses 31 and 32, just two verses, and it's going to take us three weeks to get through two verses.

No surprise, but I'm going to do something a little different because I'm doing a retreat for the Spanish ministry in Mexicali in two weeks and so I thought that what I would do is dovetail Wednesdays and Sunday morning. So we're going to finish John 1 this week. I know some of you want to have a celebration about that.

I thought I'd give you an examination on John 1; but we're going to finish John 1 this week, and then the next two weeks I'm going to do the benchmarks for marital bliss. It's going to tie into what we're doing on Wednesday nights with divorce and remarriage and it's going to be what I'm going to talk about in Mexicali for that retreat with the Spanish ministry and then we'll lead us into John chapter 2 the wedding at Cana. So it's all going to come together for you and so if you're with us you're going to be able to see how everything just kind of comes together in one big package as we study God's Word together.

It was two weeks ago that a young lady in our church came to me and she said, you know it is so incredibly difficult for me to get here on Wednesday nights because my husband works and I have four small children and it's hard to get here and so sometimes it's a little bit more intensive than I'd like it to be. She goes, but once I'm here, I am so incredibly glad that I was able to make it. It's all worth it to be here because I learned so very, very much.

You know I marvel at that young mom because she lives a very busy life. It's hard to get to church on your own when you got four small children and it makes you wonder what's wrong with the people that don't have any children why they can't make it. You know I'm saying or two children why they can't make it but this mom is all by herself and she comes every week and she just learns.

As difficult as it is to get here, she realizes the importance of hearing the Word of God and how it impacts her life. Having said that I want to begin by taking from what we said on Sunday about the phrase the very first words of our Lord in John 1, what do you seek? The Lord doesn't ask that question in Matthew chapter 5. He doesn't ask them what they are seeking because he already knows their hearts. He knows what they want.

As you look at Matthew chapter 4, you realize that the news about him spread throughout all Syria, and they brought to him all who were ill, those who are those suffering with various diseases and pains; demoniacs, epileptics, paralytics; and he healed them. Large crowds followed him from Galilee and the Decapolis and Jerusalem and Judea and from beyond the Jordan. We don't know the number of the people in the crowds, but you can imagine the people's excitement about the healings that have taken place.

They wanted to feel better. They wanted to be better. They wanted to be able to have comfort and rest in life.

They wanted joy in life and here is this one Jesus who's healing everybody and so they're thinking this is this is the greatest thing ever and it was contagious. Crowds everywhere were gathering to watch the miracles and those who had friends or family that were sick and needed healing, they would bring them to Jesus to be healed and he healed them says and yet he was preaching the gospel.

Earlier up in Matthew 4 it says in verse 23, he was going throughout all Galilee teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among the people. So he was proclaiming the gospel.

He knew that they were gathering not because of the message but because of the miracles. He knew that. So he's not going to ask them what do you seek.

He knows what they want, but he also knows what they need, and they need true contentment. They need true joy. They need true blessing and he knows that temporal fulfillment is no substitute for eternal contentment, and so what he's going to do is take them down the road of true blessedness. And so, because the crowds are gathering, he doesn't say what do you seek, because he knows, but he knows what they need.

So he begins with blessing, blessing, blessedness, joy because he wants them to understand that he's there to encourage them, not discourage them; but he wants them to understand the essence of the gospel. And so in Matthew 5, 6, and 7 that's what he does. He talks about the kingdom.

He talks about kingdom living. He talks about what it means to get into the kingdom and then how to grow up in the kingdom. He talks about what it means to be a true child of the king because he wants people to be a part of his kingdom.

So he presents them the kingdom. He knows exactly what they need but they're following him because of what they want. And when it's all said and done there are no converts.

Nobody gives their life to Christ. Oh they marvel at the words that he says. Never a man spoke like this man.

They're overwhelmed by the way he speak,s but the bible records no converts. Nobody truly wanting to follow him for the right reasons. Following him for the wrong reasons, yes, but they thought they were following him for the right reasons, but in all reality by the time you get to the 6th chapter of John, many of them just disperse and leave.

But this is still early on in the ministry of Christ. So it begins with blessing, and then he talks about the fact that those who are truly blessed and those who enter the kingdom of God are true salt and light in the world, and they are able to dispel darkness around them and also deter decay because they're salt and light. And then, because he's the Lord, he knows exactly what they're thinking. Because he knows that what they're hearing, they've never heard anything like it before.

It's completely different than what their rabbis have said. It's completely different than what they've heard from the pharisees. And so he says in in Matthew chapter 5, verse number 17, these words.

He says, do not think that I came to abolish the law of the prophets. I did not come to abolish but to fulfill. He wants to let them know that listen I am not here to give you something new. I'm here to fulfill everything that's already been said.

And so I'm here because you need to understand the truth. You have lived by tradition for years but you need to know the truth. And you have to love that about Jesus because he's a truth-teller, right? He embodies truth.

He testifies to the truth. Everything about Jesus is true. And so he comes to speak to them nothing but truth.

And so that's what he's going to do. And then he tells them unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and pharisees you'll never be a part of my kingdom. Which had to throw them for a tremendous loop, because they're thinking, how can our righteousness exceed that of the scribes and pharisees?

They are the holy ones. They are the they are the religious elite. How is it we can ever surpass that? We can't.

But that's because they saw their righteousness as some kind of human achievement. But Christ's righteousness was one that only he could give. And so then he begins this aspect of a sermon where he's going to contrast what they have been taught and what is true.

He begins by saying, you have heard that it was said but I say unto you. You have heard by the ancients of old but you need to know what the ancient of days, Daniel 7, truly says. You have heard all kinds of things concerning your religion, but you need to know the truth.

You know it's important to tell people the truth. When people come to me I like to ask them this question. The question is this. Will you do what Jesus says no matter what? That's the question.

You call the pastor up. You want to see the pastor. You come in.

You sit down and you present to me whatever it is you're going to present. I'm going to say to you will you do what the Lord says no matter what? And usually they say yes. Every once in a while, someone will say no and I say well then we have nothing else to say.

Let's close in prayer because I'm only going to tell you what the Bible says. I'm not going to give you my opinion. My opinion doesn't matter but I will tell you what the truth is and what Bible says.

But the question is will you do what the Bible says? Because I'm going to present to you what Jesus says and then you have to make a choice. Yes or no. The responsibility is on you.

And so Jesus is presenting the truth. You've heard this but I'm going to tell you the truth. This is the tradition but this is the truth.

He talks to them about first of all in Matthew chapter 5, he talks about murder because they think that to murder somebody is wrong. But he goes to the intent of the heart. He goes to the inner man to show them that if you're angry with your brother you are a murderer.

And then he moves on to adultery and lustful thinking and lustful looks. They know they're not to commit adultery. The Bible has a commandment against that.

You have heard that it was said by the ages of old, thou shalt not commit adultery. And they would all say amen to that. But then he says, but I say unto you that if you look at a woman and you lust after her in your heart you have already committed adultery in your heart.

Because he goes right to the heart of the matter. Which leads us to verse 31 and verse 32 about divorce and remarriage. This is never an easy topic whether it's in the world or in the church because everybody has a view about divorce and remarriage.

But what is Christ's view on divorce and remarriage? That's what really matters right? And so Christ is going to address the issue. So in Matthew 5:31 this is what he says. It was said or if you heard that it was said whoever sends his wife away let him give her a certificate of divorce.

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except for the reason of unchastity makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. This is Jesus's commentary on divorce and remarriage.

It's just two verses. There will be an expansion of it in Matthew 19 that we will look at in a moment. But he wants them to understand what they've been taught, and what is true.

That they were taught that they could divorce their wife for any cause. If she burned the meal, write her a bill of divorcement. She embarrasses you in public, write her a bill of divorcement.

How do they get there? What caused them to think that way? And so Christ comes along and says this is what you've heard this is what you've been taught, but I want to tell you what the truth really is. That's where that's where Jesus is.

And so as we go through this please understand I am I am not here to criticize or condemn anybody for what you have done in your past. What's in the past is in the past. You can't change the past. You can't bring it back.

But you can change today and tomorrow in the future by living in light of what God's Word says. And so I'm going to do the best I can shed light on what the Bible says concerning divorce and remarriage and give you the insight that you need that will that will help you. So important.

I always tell people, look, if you're going to marry somebody, ask them this question, what is your view on divorce and remarriage? Ask them that question before you ever marry them.

Say, well, why would I ask that? Because their answer will tell you a lot. Because if they're in favor of divorce, I would say, run the other way. Run.

Because if they believe that divorce is an option, it will then become one day essential. So you need to ask them that question. Because if they don't have the same view on divorce and remarriage that Jesus has, then it's best for you not to even marry them. So important.

Cal Thomas, for the last 50 years, is an American syndicate columnist. He's an author.

He's a radio commentator. He's written a plethora of books. I want to read to you what he says concerning the divorce deception.

He said, the biggest cover-up over the last quarter century is the myth that divorce doesn't have that much impact on children. The advocates of no-fault divorce who said it didn't matter how people lived as long as they were happy have plunged millions of children into profound unhappiness. 60 California families in which the husband and wife had divorced were studied by psychology professor Julia Lewis and psychologist Judith Wallerstein over a 25-year period.

The devastating impact of family breakup is clearly seen in the lives of 26 individuals who were preschoolers at the time, their parents divorced. That one event produced emotional scars that are still affecting the way these people feel, behave, and relate to others today. As the children in this category grew up, 50% ended up on drugs or alcohol.

Many of the girls engaged in sexual immorality as young teens, although some of the fathers were professionals with high incomes. Not one of them gave full financial support for his children's college education. These people have been very leery of marriage because they remember how unhappy their parents were.

Yet during these 25 years, the media and certain interest groups have promoted the notion that divorce is normal and not that harmful to those involved. Never mind that, as Barbara Defoe Whitehead points out in her book The Divorce Culture, kids in single-parent families are six times more likely to be poor and twice as likely to have behavioral and emotional problems as children in intact homes. Just think about that.

So, over the years, things have changed. And Michael McManus has written an article about the change in society. It's all about cohabitation.

At the time of his article, more than half of all people who marry today have lived in a trial marriage. Today, it's 70 to 80% of people. They live in a trial marriage to see if it's going to work, to see if they're able to exist together.

He asked the question, can marriage be tried on like a shoe? Absolutely not, he says. Cohabitation is the worst possible step a couple could take. The National Survey of Families and Households found that 40% of living relationships broke up short of marriage.

Add to this the fact that marriages that are preceded by living together have a 50% higher rate of divorce or separation than marriages without premarital cohabitation. Sadly, few learned the lesson that cohabitation doesn't work. After breaking up with partner A, many move in with partner B and then move in with partner C. And they end up in their 30s and 40s wondering why they never married.

No wonder fewer young people are getting married at all. 85.4 million adults over the age of 18 have never been married simply because of cohabitation and trial marriages. What's the answer to all those things? The articles are numerable that you can read about divorce and remarriage and people's thoughts about them.

But the question comes down to what does Jesus actually say? How does he explain the truth about divorce and remarriage? My desire is to passionately convey to you the truth. And I would ask that you would adopt as we go through these sermons on divorce and remarriage the words of James. When he said this, you know my beloved brethren, everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.

Everyone must be quick to hear the word, slower to speak the word and even much slower to become angry at the word. For he says, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. Therefore put aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness and in humility receive the word implanted which is able to save your souls.

My prayer for you and for me is that we would be quick to hear what God says about divorce and remarriage. And not become angry at what God says because it doesn't produce the righteousness of God and man. But ask and answer, whatever Jesus says, I will do.

That's just basic Christianity 101. What does Jesus say? For whatever he says, that I will do. So we're going to cover three points in three weeks.

Number one, the rabbinical tradition. Number two, the biblical teaching. And number three, your personal transformation.

Three very simple points. The first one is the rabbinical tradition. Jesus says it was said, you have heard by your rabbis, by your scribes and Pharisees.

This is what you've been taught that you can divorce for any reason. No matter what. Is that true? Is no-fault divorce biblical? Can you live in an environment like that? Does God bless that kind of divorce? So this is your tradition.

Let me give you the truth, Jesus says. I want you to understand that the rabbinical tradition disregarded the divine plan and distorted the Deuteronomy passage. Specifically Deuteronomy 24, verses 1 to 4. The rabbinical tradition, number one, completely disregarded the divine plan.

To understand divorce, you must better understand marriage. What is God's view of marriage? And then you can have a proper view of divorce. God is the designer and creator of the marriage institution.

It was all his idea. And so for that, turn with me to Matthew chapter 19. Matthew chapter 19.

Verse number 3. It says some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing him and asking, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all? That's the question. Is it lawful for any man to divorce his wife for any reason at all? They're trying to trap Jesus. They want to know if he's truly come to fulfill the law or abolish the law.

They know what he's already said in Matthew 5, so they're concerned about how Christ is going to answer. And I love what Jesus says. He answered and said, have you not read? That's a great way to answer somebody who asked you a question.

Have you not read? Do you know what the Bible says on the topic, on the issue, on the situation? Have you not read? Which was an indictment against them because they prided themselves on knowing the law of God. So he says, have you not read? In other words, he wants to take them back to Moses. Why? Because Jesus says that your argument is not with me, it's with God.

And that's when you share the Bible with people. Their argument's not with you. They might take it out on you, but their argument's really with God.

So that's why you always share with them what the Bible says. Your opinion doesn't matter, but what does God's word say? When you do that, their argument then is with God. And so Jesus is going to uphold the authority of the Word of God.

So he says, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? He takes them back to Genesis 1:27. All the way back to the book of Genesis, the very first book of the Bible. He takes them back and says, have you not read? Do you not understand that marriage is a purposeful union? He made them one male, he made them one female. That's what he did.

He didn't make a whole bunch of males and a whole bunch of females and let them pick and choose whatever one they wanted to pick and choose. He made them one male and one female because God had a purpose. For in Genesis 2:18, God says, it is not good for man to be alone.

Not good. So what did God do? He had Adam name all the animals. And as he named all the animals, he realized that every animal had a helper.

But he had no helper suitable for him. God put Adam in a situation where he would recognize that there was a Mr. and Mrs. Pig, and Mr. and Mrs. Horse, and Mr. and Mrs. Cow, and Mr. and Mrs. Dog, but there was just a Mr. of him, no Mrs. So God put him to sleep. The gorilla from Adam created Eve and said that this woman is bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.

And so there was a purpose behind what God was doing. One male, one female and it was not good for the male to be alone so he created a suitable helpmate specifically for Adam. God's purpose was being unveiled.

And so he realized that there were no spares, there were no options, there was just one female, just one because male and female created he, them. So whatever your view on marriage is and it should be a biblical view, you must understand that from the outset God had a purpose behind the union and it wasn't good for men to be alone. So he gave him one woman.

And that purposeful union then became a permanent union. For he says this in Matthew 19 verse 5, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. It's a permanent union.

For this cause, what cause? It's not good for man to be alone. So for this cause a man shall leave and cleave. He will be glued to one woman.

A permanent union stuck together like Siamese twins. Such a unity that if there was ever a divorce it would be like an amputation. It would be the cutting off of a limb, a cutting off of an arm or a leg.

It was designed to be a permanent union. So many times we view our spouse as an additional application to our life. Your spouse is not an add-on.

They are a permanent part of your life. And so the Lord wants to make sure the Pharisees understand, have you not read? That's from the very beginning. The creator of marriage designed a purposeful union and designed a permanent union to take place between one man and one woman.

And then, not only is it a permanent union, it is a precious union. For he says, and the two shall become one flesh. The two shall become one.

One plus one is one in marriage. Nowhere else, just marriage. One plus one is one.

And the incarnation of your love when you have children, exemplifies your oneness. So when you have that child, right, that child is going to look like the woman, or the man, or maybe a combination of both, will have a personality of the father or the mother, will have the characteristics of the father or mother, but they're blended into one individual person. To symbolize and to exemplify that the oneness of marriage is exemplified in how that child is a combination of mom and dad.

The two shall become one. It goes way beyond physical intimacy to spiritual intimacy. Why? Because physical intimacy does not produce spiritual intimacy, but spiritual intimacy does produce physical intimacy.

Physical intimacy does not produce oneness. If that was the case, every time somebody had sex, they'd be one with that person. But the spiritual oneness accentuates the physical intimacy.

Very, very important. And so this is a very precious union. It's precious because of what it produces.

It's precious because of what it pictures. Remember in Ephesians chapter 5, Paul says it very clearly with these words. When he says, verse 25, husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her.

This precious union is a picture. It's a picture of Christ's love for the church. The Lord had a purpose for the union.

And the purpose for the union is that it would be a permanent union. And that permanent union would be so precious that it would picture to everyone Christ's love for the church. And Paul goes on to say this in verse 26 of Ephesians 5, so he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and blameless.

This permanent oneness is so precious because it purifies, it protects, it provides. It gives everything that's needed because two become one. So Jesus says, have you not read that in the beginning he made them male and female.

He did that for this cause. The man should leave and cleave. And having left and cleft, they become one flesh.

And that union is so precious because of the physical, spiritual, emotional, social, relational oneness that's there. She and he are true companions. They are best friends, best of friends.

Why? Because they're one. They're not two any longer. They're one flesh.

And so Christ says, these words, he says, in verse 6, so they are no longer two but one, one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man divorce, so let no man separate. He tells them that not only is it a purposeful union and not only is it a permanent union and a precious union, it is a predetermined union.

Now listen carefully. Every marriage is a predetermined union, predestined by God. What God has joined together, let no man separate.

God is a creator of marriage. God is providentially in control of every person's life who's ever existed. And when you get married, whether you're married in a church, whether you're married in Vegas, whether you're married in the courthouse, or whether you're married in a trailer park or at the beach, God has joined you together.

It's a predetermined union, determined by God himself in eternity past. Even if you have an arranged marriage, which most of the Jews did, it was prearranged by mom and dad, usually at birth, that prearrangement was a predetermined in the mind of God. And so we need to understand that when you say, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, God is joining you together, that you might be one, and that one is an indivisible number.

And this is God's view on marriage. And that's why the permanency of the union is so important. Because, like many people who have been married in our church, they walk up the stairs here, and they stand on the top of the platform, and they recite their vows to one another.

Well, how valuable are those vows? They're extremely valuable. Why? Because they confirm your loyalty. And not only do they confirm your loyalty, they certify your integrity.

In other words, when you get married and you say your vows, whether you write them or you repeat them after the official person who's overseeing your wedding, you are giving your word for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. Your integrity's on the line. Either your word is true or it is not.

We can either take you at your word or we can't. And the Bible says it's better never to vow than to vow and break a vow. So when you stand up and you say those vows, they are so important.

You know, years ago we wrote the book, God's Hope for Your Home. This book is crucial. It gives you the exam for engagement.

So you take the exam. It gives you the meaning of marriage, God's meaning for marriage. Then it gives you God's value on vows.

And then it gives you God's counsel for couples. And then it gives you God's instructions for in-laws. And then it gives you God's guidelines for grandparents.

It's for everybody. So you understand what God actually says about marriage and the permanency and the preciousness of marriage and what it means. So we put this together for you.

We preached on it years ago, sometime in the 1990s, I think. But it's still true today because it's all based on God's word. But in there we talk about God's value on vows.

God takes your vows seriously. Unfortunately today we don't take our vows seriously. So the Lord says this in Matthew chapter 19 because to understand divorce you must first of all understand marriage.

You can't understand God's view of divorce unless you understand God's view of marriage. So in verse 10 it says, well verse 7. First of all, it says, they said to him, why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away? God never commanded that. God never did.

So Christ says because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not, it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery.

The disciples said to him, If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it's better not to marry. But like if you're saying that this union is a permanent union, we're out. We're staying single.

If you're telling me that this is a precious union that's permanent and predetermined by God and the only way out is through immorality, we're out. Because who wants to be stuck with somebody forever with no option or no alternative or no way to escape when things get difficult? We're out. That's not for us.

And yet God designed this whole thing. So important. Because God has made it very clear that He hates divorce.

Divorce is the denial of His will and the destruction of His work. A denial of His will and a destruction of His work. In fact, it'd be good to see what the Lord has said on this in the book of Malachi in the Old Testament.

Malachi chapter 2. If you have a Bible turn back there, if you would please. Christ was writing to the Jews and they were giving excuses as to why they did what they did. And they would say things like, well, we didn't know. Or why is it this way? Or how come? Or for what reason are you doing this?

And so the Lord says in verse 13, this is another thing that you do. The Lord knows everything so He knows exactly what you do. You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning.

You come to worship Me and you follow the altar and you weep and you cry. And tears just cover the altar because He no longer regards the offering nor accepts it with favor from your hand. You come and you cry, but you're crying because, for some reason, the Lord's not accepting your offering.

And yet you say, for what reason? Why won't you accept my confession? Why won't you accept my offering? Why won't you accept my worship? What's wrong with it? Verse 14, because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth. You see, they were divorcing their wives for any cause and they were marrying pagan women. He says, because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth against whom you have dealt treacherously or violently, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

She's your friend. She's your best friend. And yet you've treated her violently, treacherously.

Verse 15, but not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. The spiritual person, the one who walks with me, hasn't done this, meaning that you're not walking with me. He says, and what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? In other words, he says, look, what do you think was going to happen? You know what the book of Deuteronomy says about producing a godly seed? Do you actually think that you, divorcing your wives for any cause at all, dealing with them treacherously and then marrying pagan women is going to produce a godly seed and a godly legacy? It's not going to happen that way.

It's impossible to heed then to your spirit, to your inner man, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth, for I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel. And him who covers his garment with wrong or with violence says the Lord of hosts, so take heed to your spirit that you do not deal violently. He says, I hate divorce.

Why? Because when you divorce someone, you cover your garments with violence. It's like someone who tramples through the mud, and as they trample you through the mud, the mud spatters up all over their garments. He says your garments are blood-stained by the violence you've treated your companion, the wife of your youth with.

There's just sin all over the place because of how you have dealt with your wives. I hate divorce. So he says, take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously.

Take heed. Take heed to your spirit, your inner man, that you don't go down this route, that you make sure that you walk with me. How did man get here? How did we end up here? Why is it marriages break up as they do? Why is it even the church, it's so hard to keep people together? What happened? Well, the answer is way back in the book of Genesis, the third chapter.

So turn back with me, if you would, to Genesis, chapter 3. We know that Adam and Eve sin in chapter 3, and with that sin, everything was affected. We understand that. And so it says, in chapter 3 verse number 16, the effects of that sin to the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth.

You ever wonder why, ladies, you have such pain in childbirth? It's because of sin. He says, I'm going to multiply your pain in childbirth. In pain, you will bring forth children.

You have Eve to thank for that. Yet, your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. That does not mean that even though you have pain in childbirth, you're going to long and desire your husband.

That's not what that means. It means that you will desire to control and dominate your husband. Because it's only used one other time in the Bible.

And that's in Genesis chapter 4, verse number 7, when it says, if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is for you. Pain, sin wants to control you. Sin wants to dominate your life.

But you must master it. That's the same thing that the Lord is saying in verse number 16. Your desire will be toward your husband.

In other words, because of sin, because of the fall, you will do all you can to control your husband. Now ladies, you can say anything you want and say, well that's not me, it is you. It is you.

And then it says this, and he will rule over you. He's not going to let you do that. He's going to dominate you.

And thus you had the battle of the sexes in Genesis 3, verse number 16. It didn't happen in the 60s or the 70s. It happened in Genesis 3, verse number 16.

When Eve, listen, when Eve usurped the leadership of her husband by partaking of the fruit, she fell into sin. The curse on her is that man is going to rule over her for the rest of her life. And yet she will seek to continue to usurp his authority.

She will continue to dominate him and rule over him. And God would say this in verse number 17, and every man should listen to this. Then to Adam he said, because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, you shall not eat from it.

Adam, you listened to your wife. You didn't listen to me. I had given you a command.

And you decided to listen to your wife more than you listened to me. Now I do believe that gentlemen, you ought to listen to your wives. But when it comes to sinful behavior, you ought not to listen to anything, she says, because you're the leader.

And you need to lead your wife into righteousness and purity and holiness. And God says to Adam, you didn't listen to me, you listened to your wife. And because you listened to her, she's going to continue to desire to dominate your life.

But you will fight vehemently against that. And you will not let that happen. That's why there's divorce.

That's why marriages crumble. That's how Satan attacks the marriage. He attacks the union of husband and wife.

He didn't attack Adam when Adam was alone. But as soon as Eve came along, Satan piped up and temptation came and sent into the world. And ever since then, God has allowed Satan to attack your marriage.

And he will, without any apology, do all he can to divide what God has put together. And the only way this is rectified, as the Lord says in Malachi 2, when he says these words, he says, take heed to your spirit that you do not deal violently. In other words, you've got to deal with the inner man.

And that's why it's important that you're a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. That's why it's important that you marry a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. That you know for certain that that person is committed to Christ, committed to a church, committed to following the Lord.

Because the only way you can handle it, with Genesis 3:16, is Ephesians 5, verse 18 and following. When you truly are filled with the Spirit of God and you deal with the inner man and you begin to walk in the Spirit so you don't fulfill the lust of the flesh. God says marriage is my institution.

It's my creation. It is so precious, so purposeful, so permanent, so predetermined, so such a picture of my love for the church that I want you to make sure that you live righteously. So our plan is to help you learn how to do that.

What does God say? So the rabbinical tradition disregarded the divine plan. That's why the Lord says, have you not read? Did you forget how it all began? Listen, God's only counsel on marriage is Genesis chapter 2, verse number 24. It's repeated four times in the New Testament.

That is God's counsel on marriage. So you need to understand it. Once you do understand it, then you can begin to live that life that God wants you to live in that union you have with that person who is your companion, your best friend, the wife of your youth, the one you are to rejoice with because he who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Let's pray. Lord, we thank you for tonight and a chance to be in your word and a chance to re-examine our own lives in light of what your word says. My prayer for every man and woman in the room, those who are married, those who want to get married, that they would understand the purpose of marriage and your design for man.

They would live in light of that. Realizing, Lord, that this is something that you've designed from the very beginning. And so in order to deal with the issues involved, I must know what God says because you provide the crucial counsel that allows us to live in the light of your spirit.

So, Lord, go before us and encourage us through your word. And may we begin today to realize that the path I am on is to glorify the name of Christ from this day forward because we want to be able to say, the Lord has spoken, what the Lord says, that I will do. Without exception, without reservation, without hesitation.

For the glory of your name, until you come again as you most surely will. In Jesus' name, Amen.